O
old.Tohtori
Guest
Ok, for far too long has the games lacked the Realism Of Reallife and are filled with silly mistakes that even a five year old poodletrainer could spot from a mile away and with their aunties magnifying glass. Especially in Dark Age of Realism there is a massive amount of things that just are not equal to the Realism Of Reallife. Now it's time for me, Teh Seel, once again show people the light of ways and then steer them into a dip in the insanity pool. I'm not going to Pick'a'Part every detail ingame, but i'll talk about as much as i can. Which, in some states, is a lethal crime. For me. Not you. Relax.
To Dye or not to Dye
In the lacking of Realism Of Reallife section, the dyes of the game rank up very very high. One would imagine that such a little thing as coloring your armor could be implemented in a realistic way, but there is no such luck for the gamer. A few examples:
- When coloring a piece of armor/leather in the rain, the color still stayes perfectly on the armor. Heck, you can even take a jerkin and dye it pink, then jump into the river and it stays as sparkly spanking new as it was.
- One Magical Pot of Dye can color one helmet, one pair of boots, one jerkin, one set of gloves, one cloak, one shield(no matter the size) or a set of panties. Now, the problem here and a total clash with Realism Of Reallife is the fact that the Magical Pot of Dye covers everything equally. So dipping a pair of silk gloves in a dyepot will color them and spend the dye completely. But that same amount of dye can also be applied to a full jerkin that covers your whole torso.
- Applying dye over dye does not stack. When you add a coat of paint on a car, the paint under it doesn't disappear. If you add 2000 coats of paint to your car, it's bound to have some nasty sideeffects. Even perhaps add to the weight. But not with Magical Dyes of DAoR. These things just make the previous color just poof away. Ever dipped a paintbrush from blue to yellow? The paintbrush still holds the blue color and turns the water you dip it in, kinda greenish. Shocking lack of Realism Of Reallife.
Hoboville Extreme
Nobody lives in a house anymore. Actually, nobody eats, sleeps, drinks or relieves themselves in DAoR either. The jobrate of DAoR is 100% (totally realistic...cough...). Everyone has a job as a shopkeep, bartender or a Magical Dye merchant. For a world so filled with business, one would think that the people would live in huge mansions, but no. These people must really love the outdoors since every house i've been to is either a shop, a bar or a trainerhouse. Heck, i think i've seen only one person live in a house in Audliten(Midgard) and his days are spent telling the same freaking story to everyone who might go over to the second floor and poke him in a bodypart of their choice. I don't understand why Albion wants to invade Midgard, or why Hibernia wants to destroy Albion...there's nothing to destroy. Just a few shops all around the realm. Even the stables in Jordheim are empty.
"Let us go to Albion and burn their homes!"
"Sir...they live outside."
"Umm...let us...go over and...burn their shops?"
Somebody please...think of the children....which bring me to my next point.
Who Ate the Children?
Evidently the people of DAoR are born in tubes of some sort. And since this is the medieval times, i guess in a barrel. Bread for 20 or so years and then released next to a trainer that the "Higher Powers" decide to fit that particular subject. Ofcourse no world would be inpar with Realism Of Reallife without different kind of people. We have short, medium and tall people. With 10...think of it...10!! different faces, more or less and ofcourse female or male. This give the world depth and a huge variety of different looking people. Ofcourse this would only be true if we were all born from the same strand of DNA and raised in tubes...hmm... I see the point. So children are a noshow in this world, and who could blame them really? Except me. I wouldn't bring a 5 year old kid into a world where creatures stay in same spots and all the people lived on the street either. Ofcourse i would personally release a bunch of kids out there just to see how long it would take for a smiera-gatto to rip them to shreads, but that's just me.
Something you won't see in DAoR...and some say "good thing".
Just sit down for a while and call me in the morning.
The bloodfilled battle. The cuts and wounds. Marks of a fierce battle. Mortally wounded. Not here. In this world, if you have your arms half cut off, one leg missing, bleeding from every part of your body and all in all a lost case, you can just sit down for a little rest and you'll be bright as rain. No need for mystical healing, no need for days of rest and strange herbs, just sit down, relax and let nature take it's course. Which ofcourse is a 100% full health after sitting on some piece of grass for a minute or two. This is realism folks! When you get hit by a car outside, don't bother calling 911, just sit down, take a deep breath and let the earthworms magically repair you.
Magical Pockets Of Carryall
Last thing i'll mention, for now, is the oh so wonderfully realistic way that people carry stuff around. Ofcourse it would be ridicilous and totally non-realistic for people to have bags, backpacks or even a box of some sort to carry things. No, not here, not in DAoR. You stuff stuff(har har) in your pockets. One can carry a few dozen bearhides, a couple of axes, full set of armor and 20 bottles of Magical Dye in their opckets and still run away from an angry wolf with ease. Ofcourse the Magical Pockets of Carryall are not perfect, when you stuff too much into them..i use the term "too much" loosely since it's roughly around 1000kg...you get encumbered and walk a tad slower. Ofcourse if you place too many full platemail sets into your pockets, you can't walk at all. You can just stand, jump, dance and turn around without moving your feet. That's the backsidepole in action there folks. Ofcourse it's only realistic that you could at all lift that final straw that brakes the camles back, but...it's not that important really. The important thing is, that you can carry around the whole supply of a K-Mart in your pockets and still be able yoga if you want.
Yup. This too is an item that can be found in a trolls Magical Pocket of Carryall.
That's all for now, might come back for another reality check later, might not. I might afterall have to SHOWER or EAT or even SLEEP. Goodness gracious what a crazy un-realistic world...
To Dye or not to Dye
In the lacking of Realism Of Reallife section, the dyes of the game rank up very very high. One would imagine that such a little thing as coloring your armor could be implemented in a realistic way, but there is no such luck for the gamer. A few examples:
- When coloring a piece of armor/leather in the rain, the color still stayes perfectly on the armor. Heck, you can even take a jerkin and dye it pink, then jump into the river and it stays as sparkly spanking new as it was.
- One Magical Pot of Dye can color one helmet, one pair of boots, one jerkin, one set of gloves, one cloak, one shield(no matter the size) or a set of panties. Now, the problem here and a total clash with Realism Of Reallife is the fact that the Magical Pot of Dye covers everything equally. So dipping a pair of silk gloves in a dyepot will color them and spend the dye completely. But that same amount of dye can also be applied to a full jerkin that covers your whole torso.
- Applying dye over dye does not stack. When you add a coat of paint on a car, the paint under it doesn't disappear. If you add 2000 coats of paint to your car, it's bound to have some nasty sideeffects. Even perhaps add to the weight. But not with Magical Dyes of DAoR. These things just make the previous color just poof away. Ever dipped a paintbrush from blue to yellow? The paintbrush still holds the blue color and turns the water you dip it in, kinda greenish. Shocking lack of Realism Of Reallife.
Hoboville Extreme
Nobody lives in a house anymore. Actually, nobody eats, sleeps, drinks or relieves themselves in DAoR either. The jobrate of DAoR is 100% (totally realistic...cough...). Everyone has a job as a shopkeep, bartender or a Magical Dye merchant. For a world so filled with business, one would think that the people would live in huge mansions, but no. These people must really love the outdoors since every house i've been to is either a shop, a bar or a trainerhouse. Heck, i think i've seen only one person live in a house in Audliten(Midgard) and his days are spent telling the same freaking story to everyone who might go over to the second floor and poke him in a bodypart of their choice. I don't understand why Albion wants to invade Midgard, or why Hibernia wants to destroy Albion...there's nothing to destroy. Just a few shops all around the realm. Even the stables in Jordheim are empty.
"Let us go to Albion and burn their homes!"
"Sir...they live outside."
"Umm...let us...go over and...burn their shops?"
Somebody please...think of the children....which bring me to my next point.
Who Ate the Children?
Evidently the people of DAoR are born in tubes of some sort. And since this is the medieval times, i guess in a barrel. Bread for 20 or so years and then released next to a trainer that the "Higher Powers" decide to fit that particular subject. Ofcourse no world would be inpar with Realism Of Reallife without different kind of people. We have short, medium and tall people. With 10...think of it...10!! different faces, more or less and ofcourse female or male. This give the world depth and a huge variety of different looking people. Ofcourse this would only be true if we were all born from the same strand of DNA and raised in tubes...hmm... I see the point. So children are a noshow in this world, and who could blame them really? Except me. I wouldn't bring a 5 year old kid into a world where creatures stay in same spots and all the people lived on the street either. Ofcourse i would personally release a bunch of kids out there just to see how long it would take for a smiera-gatto to rip them to shreads, but that's just me.
Something you won't see in DAoR...and some say "good thing".
Just sit down for a while and call me in the morning.
The bloodfilled battle. The cuts and wounds. Marks of a fierce battle. Mortally wounded. Not here. In this world, if you have your arms half cut off, one leg missing, bleeding from every part of your body and all in all a lost case, you can just sit down for a little rest and you'll be bright as rain. No need for mystical healing, no need for days of rest and strange herbs, just sit down, relax and let nature take it's course. Which ofcourse is a 100% full health after sitting on some piece of grass for a minute or two. This is realism folks! When you get hit by a car outside, don't bother calling 911, just sit down, take a deep breath and let the earthworms magically repair you.
Magical Pockets Of Carryall
Last thing i'll mention, for now, is the oh so wonderfully realistic way that people carry stuff around. Ofcourse it would be ridicilous and totally non-realistic for people to have bags, backpacks or even a box of some sort to carry things. No, not here, not in DAoR. You stuff stuff(har har) in your pockets. One can carry a few dozen bearhides, a couple of axes, full set of armor and 20 bottles of Magical Dye in their opckets and still run away from an angry wolf with ease. Ofcourse the Magical Pockets of Carryall are not perfect, when you stuff too much into them..i use the term "too much" loosely since it's roughly around 1000kg...you get encumbered and walk a tad slower. Ofcourse if you place too many full platemail sets into your pockets, you can't walk at all. You can just stand, jump, dance and turn around without moving your feet. That's the backsidepole in action there folks. Ofcourse it's only realistic that you could at all lift that final straw that brakes the camles back, but...it's not that important really. The important thing is, that you can carry around the whole supply of a K-Mart in your pockets and still be able yoga if you want.
Yup. This too is an item that can be found in a trolls Magical Pocket of Carryall.
That's all for now, might come back for another reality check later, might not. I might afterall have to SHOWER or EAT or even SLEEP. Goodness gracious what a crazy un-realistic world...
