Help Such a state

[Deebs]

Hi guys (and girls),

Sorry for the lack of response but ive been really pre occupied. Um where do I start?

Ah yes I know, I fell in love with a beatutiful woman. Younger than me but absolutely gorgeous and I managed to let my guard down and fall in love with her. BUT... it was not two way from what I could make out.

Anyway, we split up on Friday, I am also going thru a reduncdancy "at risk" thing and it is Mother's day tomorrow... Now my Mum's dying wish was for my Sister (Michelle) to take care of Antonette (don't laugh) and I am suffering.

Seriously I am at rock bottom, what do I do to pick myself up from these 3 things and have positive thoughts??? I can honestly say I have never felt this low or down in my life, 3 major things to happen to me at one time is just like WTF?!?!?!

Help.....

 

[Dreamor]

Hey Deebs, glad you are still around, wondered what happend

Sorry to hear about the GF, but sounds like she was a pain in the butt anyway. Had something similar happen to me recently...

I'm finding that spending a lot of time with friends and computer games is helping a lot, I'm always about on MSN if you ever want a chat mate.

Hope things get better soon (date a FHM model to annoy ex? )

Dreamor

 

[old.user4556]

Very sorry to hear this Deebs, this is not easy to hear and it's very hard to offer the right words of comfort back. Whilst I haven't gone through the same as you, I know how hard it is to lose family and lose love, perhaps not at the same time but within 12 months of each other. When I split with my girlfriend at the time (despite the issues and problems), it felt like losing a piece of myself or losing my best friend. It had me questioning what the point was (if you know what I mean...), like everything in life was going against me.

What I can safely say, looking back, is that time certainly helps to ease the pain of loss (love or otherwise) and it sounds like maybe you're very much still healing. It will just take time, but take comfort that (regarding the girl) it absolutely will get better; you must remain strong.

I wish I could do more to help, I've been there. Trust me, give it time.

 

[Deebs]

I just really need to get away and "soil" some other hole....

On the plus side, I have a shit memory and cannot remember who is who on MSN. Add me if need me deebs blah blah at blah fucking blah teczone what you on about dot pardon me you git dot net

 

[Roo Stercogburn]

There's no easy or quick answer to this.

I'm really sorry you are suffering. The stress must be somewhat off the scale. Body blows always seem to come in groups.

Its ok to feel exactly as you do. As dark as it seems right now it will pass in time and you will as you say, pick yourself up, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.

A close friend that is a good listener is probably worth their weight in gold right about now.

Failing that, a shotgun, a churchtower and known route to work/college etc has its own charm

 

[Scouse]

Really sorry to hear about that m8. I can't really comprehend how the culmination of all the misfortune must feel to you.

The only advice I've got is surround yourself with people you like. Even if you're just sat about watching telly together. Maybe go see your sister?

I'm about as low as I've ever been myself right now (for very different reasons), considering I'm supposed to be "on holiday" in Oz. I'm not going to hijack your thread but I guess I'm trying to convince myself that everything will be better soon. Seems hollow to me and very cold comfort, but somewhere inside I know that it's right.

Fluffle?

 

[TdC]

hola Deebs. sorry to hear you are troubled my friend, and like Roo says, the hard stuff tends to not come alone. I don't pretend to be wise enough to help you find answers specifically, but I do know that in times like these pestering your mates for booze and inane conversations (even if they annoy you), doing lots of sports (even if it bores you) and strict daily regimes (even if you really really really don't want to get out of bed) work absolute gold for one's mind set.

perhaps doing something you've never done before, just for you; because you feel like it, is in order, like climbing a mountain or skydiving or rafting or bungee jumping? who knows you may strike up a new hobby.

 

[Tom]

Do what I do when frustrated, take out the mountain or road bike and thrash the hell out of it (riding it!)

 

[Jupitus]

Tony - you have been through so much over recent years, and to think of throwing in the towel now after surmounting so many problems can only be a temporary mindset. It hurts, for sure, but try to stay positive and hold on to the happy memories but focus on the future as much as possible. Stay strong, we're all here to help in any way we can buddy.

 

[Mabs]

only thing i will add is if your feeling that down, and want to sit in a heap going meh, get a mate and do it at a pub or somewhere, dont do it on your own, wont help

im sure you have a good mate who will listen, go, talk it through, get it out, dont sit on it, doesnt help

 

[00dave]

Try not to dwell in the past too much mate, I suffer from that problem. Nostaligia is like a drug, it gives you a quick hit and feeling of "remember when....." followed by a long downer of "but those days are gone " It's all about moving forward and keeping yourself busy, but then if you're like me you need to find the motivation.

Just remember life is strange and you never know what's round the corner. If a metaphorical description would cheer you up a bit try this one I heard recently.
'Life is like running through a forrest blindfolded and with your hands tied behind your back, you keep running straight you may hit a tree, you go left you fall in a ditch, you go right you trip on a branch. You could stop and give up but then you'd never get out of the forrest'

 

[Chilly]

come out for a few beers in london mate. Don't suffer on yer tod. Chin up.

 

[rynnor]

For what its worth my advice would be: 1. Really knacker yourself out with exercise - you'll sleep much better and it will lift your mood a bit.

2. Avoid alcohol.

3. Stick to your routine and force yourself out regardless.

Best wishes.

 

[old.Tohtori]

What can one say, here goes;

Job(redundancy right?) is a risk, so it's not even worth worrying. If it happens, worry then and even then, other jobs will come. Unemployed ain't the end of world. Nothing rarely is.

GF? Things don't work, others will come. Now it might feel like end of world again, but day after day it's just another person in the past.

Mothers day, turn it into something nice instead of reminder. Spend it with family, sisters/brothers, go otu and eat, have a day to remember the good things and concentrate on that instead of the other stuff in your life.

Main thing in picking yourself up is to remember the positive, not the negative(as humans tend to do).

 

[MYstIC G]

Help.....

Hey T.

From the sound of things you, me & Scouse are all having a thoroughly shit time of it right now. So, in the circumstances I agree with Chilly, pour some beer on those wounds!

Keep your chin up fella and if there's anything I can do, hit that PM button.

R

 

[Deebs]

Thanks guys for the kind words.

Chilly/Rob we will have to meet up soon for much beerage in London.....

 

[Bahumat]

Sorry to hear about that Deebs, it's a shit hand to be dealt, but you're friends will help you just by being with them and it'll help take your mind off it.

Don't dwell on the breakup. If the love was a little one sided, then it's for the best you're no longer together. It's not worth wasting time dwelling on that bit mate.

Hope you don't get made redundant, but if you do (like i did before xmas ) get that CV updated asap and hit the job sites.

Best of luck!

 

[Bahumat]

Mothers day, turn it into something nice instead of reminder. Spend it with family, sisters/brothers, go otu and eat, have a day to remember the good things and concentrate on that instead of the other stuff in your life.

I totally agree. I think mothers day is a nice 'excuse' to have a very close knit family day, much like christmas

 

[Deebs]

Btw, forgot to say, those of you that gave me your mobiles, can you PM it to me again, I fucked up my phone and lost most of them