D
Damini
Guest
*Tangent child looks down upon her city, a city wracked with fighting and really stenchey amounts of testosterone. She dons her silver stockings of surrealism and flys into the fray*
1) Liking both peanut butter and Marmite insanely as a child, I concucted an Elvis-esque sandwich of peanut butter and marmite, assuming that two of my favourite foods MUST equal the worlds most favourite food ever!!!
Result: To this day the smell of peanut butter gives me the mouth sweats, and I have to leave the room. Still eat Marmite though, which is odd.
2) Tried to pick up a Black Widow spider, to prove to my friend that spiders arent that scary.
Result: Thrown across the room by a knowledgable american who was eager to not see me die by poisonous bite infront of him.
Lesson: Don't pick up little black poisonous deadly spiders, no matter how much your dumb friend is screaming.
3) Dated a man that spoke Klingon.
4) Classified.
Result: Classified.
Lesson: Hallucinogens and work don't mix.
5) When me and my brother were younger, inspired by Batman we bought some smoke bombs from the joke shop. Sadly, when we threw them on the floor (to disappear villain style in a puff of green) all they did was crumble a bit. Thinking the mechanism was broke, we manually ground them into dust and then threw the dust into the wind, creating very feeble villian hiding skills.
Lesson: Burn them, you twat.
6) Played Century in moment of student bravado.
Result: strand of spaghetti hanging from left nostril, and pleas for a bucket. Insane hatred of beer.
7) Publicly announced during a monster hangover that I thought I had suffered a stroke after half my body suddenly went cold, only to be told that I was sitting in a draft.
8) Same day queued for two hours wearing my entire wardrobe to get Terry Pratchett to sign a book. Got face to face with Terry Pratchett and realised I didn'thave a book, and had no reason at all to be there.
9) Jumped in stinging nettles as a child, convinced that this whole "Don't touch them, they sting you" was an adult conspiracy.
10) Bought a Citreon AX
1) Liking both peanut butter and Marmite insanely as a child, I concucted an Elvis-esque sandwich of peanut butter and marmite, assuming that two of my favourite foods MUST equal the worlds most favourite food ever!!!
Result: To this day the smell of peanut butter gives me the mouth sweats, and I have to leave the room. Still eat Marmite though, which is odd.
2) Tried to pick up a Black Widow spider, to prove to my friend that spiders arent that scary.
Result: Thrown across the room by a knowledgable american who was eager to not see me die by poisonous bite infront of him.
Lesson: Don't pick up little black poisonous deadly spiders, no matter how much your dumb friend is screaming.
3) Dated a man that spoke Klingon.
4) Classified.
Result: Classified.
Lesson: Hallucinogens and work don't mix.
5) When me and my brother were younger, inspired by Batman we bought some smoke bombs from the joke shop. Sadly, when we threw them on the floor (to disappear villain style in a puff of green) all they did was crumble a bit. Thinking the mechanism was broke, we manually ground them into dust and then threw the dust into the wind, creating very feeble villian hiding skills.
Lesson: Burn them, you twat.
6) Played Century in moment of student bravado.
Result: strand of spaghetti hanging from left nostril, and pleas for a bucket. Insane hatred of beer.
7) Publicly announced during a monster hangover that I thought I had suffered a stroke after half my body suddenly went cold, only to be told that I was sitting in a draft.
8) Same day queued for two hours wearing my entire wardrobe to get Terry Pratchett to sign a book. Got face to face with Terry Pratchett and realised I didn'thave a book, and had no reason at all to be there.
9) Jumped in stinging nettles as a child, convinced that this whole "Don't touch them, they sting you" was an adult conspiracy.
10) Bought a Citreon AX
