Strange people

[Tom]

Yesterday, working in the centre of Manchester, I saw a youngish man, soaking wet, wearing only trousers and shoes. He had very dark skin, a big perm—and bright pink flowers in his hair. Now as if all that wasn't unusual enough, he was carrying a white rabbit which was also piss wet through. The rabbit looked perfectly content—if a little cold.

I asked him why he was carrying a wet rabbit, and he replied "Because I am" with a smile on his face.

I really wished I'd had time to take a picture, but I didn't. My mate once saw a pensioner drop her trollies and spray shit all over a shop window. What odd people have you seen lately?

 

[Damini]

My brother once saw a tramp walking sideways alongside a shop window, hands pressed to the glass, crab like shuffle, kicking his right foot out with every step, a weird flourish, like the move to a dance routine he only half remembered.

A poo dropped out the bottom of his trouser leg.

And then he just walked off.

 

[Damini]

I saw an old woman once walking into the post office so slowly that the automatic doors shut on her. It was like watching the latest Indiana Jones movie, except instead of reaching back to collect her hat she made a sad sound and fell down.

 

[Damini]

I met the leader of the Church of Evil on an Amtrak train to New Orleans. He actually had a henchman who was bald, and wearing a black monks robe.

The leader smoked clove cigarettes, and phoned his missus to say he wouldn't be home in time for dinner. I still have a business card somewhere.

I think he may have exagerated his evil for tax purposes.

 

[Chilly]

A day in the life of damini. I'm convinced that YOU, yes YOU damini, are the sort of person that does these weird things.

Personally, I cant actually remember seeing anything particular awesome recently.

 

[Damini]

I attract weird, and I people watch, so I pick up on these things. I'm never an orchestrator! Well, apart from the time I was drunk, and dressed as a gothic carebear, and lost the people who I was meant to be following to a party, and accidentally stalked these german tourists all the way into the foyer of the hotel they were staying in. God knows what they thought.

"Ze drunk sad looking bear... Ist still following us!"

Another one...

There used to be an anarchist street painter in Canterbury. He was anarchist I think in the sense that being a street artist that has a natural ability for art is SO DAMN CONFORMIST, so he daubed the streets in what can only be affectionately termed a naive style.

A guy was heckling him, saying it was shit, that a five year old could do better.

"Really?" Roared the anarchist. "Really?! WOULD A FIVE YEAR OLD HAVE THIS MANY CRAYONS?"

It made me smile all day.

 

[Chilly]

"Really?" Roared the anarchist. "Really?! WOULD A FIVE YEAR OLD HAVE THIS MANY CRAYONS?"

It made me smile all day.

Fantastic comeback

 

[Tom]

Oh fucking lol Damini, those posts made me laugh more than anything else I've seen this week!

 

[mycenae]

I don't meet wierd people on a regular basis, but I do have some great stories from stuff kids have said and done.
My all time favourite is as follows...
Dr I used to work with comes down to breakfast one morning and notices his 6 yr old son has a red ear which he is fiddling with a lot.
Dad - Whats up with your ear Sam?
Sam - Nothing Dad, its fine (carries on eating cereal)
Dad - Its very red Sam, let me have a look
Sam - honestly Dad its fine, there is just lego in it.
Dad - why is there lego in your ear?
Sam - I put it there
Dad - why did you put lego in your ear?
Sam - Well, I put it in to see if it would fit, but it fell out so I pushed it in further.

At this point, Sam went to A&E....and proudly displayed a very waxy bit of lego to his classmates a while later.

 

[cHodAX]

lol Dami, you are fucking nuts, no wonder your books are so good.

 

[Aoami]

I was sat outside diss train station yesterday waiting for a lift home when a very shifty bloke came and sat down next to me. He was really skinny, messy hair, messier beard and i caught a look at his eyes when he took off his dark sunglasses and he had the smallest little pupils i've ever seen. He asked me a cigarette filter, and i gave him one, then he proceeded to take a small bottle of luminous orange stuff out of his bag and top it up with another bottle of murky brown stuff.

Then he starts talking, for a good 20 minutes, about all the drugs he's done, all the people he knows that have done drugs, where to buy the best drugs, how to grow your own drugs, how he smuggled drugs into prison, how he gave blowjobs for drugs in prison, and he rounded up his stories by telling me he had been straight for the last couple of years. When his lift arrived his face lit up and he proudly annouced "I'm just off to smoke a bit of crack with my bird, put a smile on my face y'know, but don't tell my dad because he's a bit senile now and he tried to murder me last time I did it"

 

[old.Tohtori]

Yesterday, working in the centre of Manchester, I saw a youngish man, soaking wet, wearing only trousers and shoes. He had very dark skin, a big perm—and bright pink flowers in his hair. Now as if all that wasn't unusual enough, he was carrying a white rabbit which was also piss wet through. The rabbit looked perfectly content—if a little cold.

I asked him why he was carrying a wet rabbit, and he replied "Because I am" with a smile on his face.

Congratulations, you met a book character!

look out for these things people, they know more then you think

Oh and..i'm a weird person so, i guess i see one every morning.

Though i'm not over-weird, just "huh?" weird at times.

I did see a blue bear walk down the street once, then later that day the same bear but without the bear-leg-part. Lost his pants it seems.

 

[Trem]

I paid my nan a surprise visit on Saturday, she gets bored on Saturdays so I thought it would be nice.

When I walked in her front room there was a tiny old lady sat in there with my nan "this is Arthurs brothers wife" said my nan. Fucks sake I thought. "she has a bag for her wee" my nan said, so from there on in I knew this woman was probably pissing as I talked to her. Anyway she wasn't very nice, stuff about having dogs put down without her husband knowing etc.

Eventually she got up to leave after constantly calling my nan my mum, as she stood at the lounge door, she said something that she thought was funny so she laughed, as she laughed and waved goodbye to me she let out an almighty fart, I can only think it was a dark fart, it definitely had some body to it, I naturally laughed my tits off, she bowed her head and went.

Bitch

 

[00dave]

Oh and..i'm a weird person so, i guess i see one every morning.

Though i'm not over-weird, just "huh?" weird at times.

I did see a blue bear walk down the street once, then later that day the same bear but without the bear-leg-part. Lost his pants it seems.

You're confusing weird with idiot

Also the sig thing isn't wise. I tried that once on barrysworld, Bohdi and Ch3tan hated me for many years afterwards. Bohdi still does but mainly because he's bitter as he's chosen the wrong side in the console wars, but I think Ch3t has forgiven me even though he won't accept my xbox live friend request

Back on topic I did see a man in London once walking down the street with a nike trainer on one foot and a pink high heeled shoe on the other. Although this is probably normal for the big smoke.

 

[old.Tohtori]

You're confusing weird with idiot

Also the sig thing isn't wise. I tried that once on barrysworld, Bohdi and Ch3tan hated me for many years afterwards. Bohdi still does but mainly because he's bitter as he's chosen the wrong side in the console wars, but I think Ch3t has forgiven me even though he won't accept my xbox live request

You're confusing forums with real life

Also i know Sparx loves me, even if he curses my name every day, tries to kill me and refuses to have sex with me.

So...like a wife! Wife=love!

 

[rynnor]

Everyone is strange - everyone has a secret world in their head with only the occasional shaft of light from the outside giving us a glimpse of that which lives within.

Some forms of strangeness are just more subtle.

 

[00dave]

You're confusing forums with real life

Does that mean that everybody I've ever spoken to on FH and BW is an AI? Is this all some kind of conspiracy? I thought you were all real people talking about your real lives, or are you confusing general with OT again? I know forums are generally filled with strange retards but I've always found FH to be borderline normal

On the subject of sigs it seems to be cool to have a Trem quote atm, even I'm sporting one.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Does that mean that everybody I've ever spoken to on FH and BW is an AI? Is this all some kind of conspiracy? I thought you were all real people talking about your real lives, or are you confusing general with OT again? I know forums are generally filled with strange retards but I've always found FH to be borderline normal

On the subject of sigs it seems to be cool to have a Trem quote atm, even I'm sporting one.

Nah, just meant that without knowing people, facial expressions tec, things aren't so clear on forums

 

[Wazzerphuk]

Yesterday I saw a man who had fashioned a proper shower cap out of a carrier bag because it had started raining 20 seconds ago.

Also saw a man-come-woman type thing almost totally naked at a bus stop with a real Abe Lincoln beard.

Fairly typical tbh.

 

[Ch3tan]

but I think Ch3t has forgiven me even though he won't accept my xbox live friend request

I haven't been on it! Wasted my live subscription for the most part this year, that will all change with modern warfare 2 though.

 

[Wonk]

I haven't been on it! Wasted my live subscription for the most part this year, that will all change with modern warfare 2 though.

woohoo, Dual wield and 50 cent in a war game - does it get better?

 

[mank!]

this thread started so well and has degenerated so much

i just get accosted by alcoholic norwegians on buses

 

[DaGaffer]

I just sat opposite a guy on the DART furiously underlining passages from the bible (with a ruler), then looking up, glaring, and then going to another page and underlining again, then back to glaring etc. etc. Made for an interesting journey to work this morning.

 

[Chilly]

did he quote them at you vigourously?

 

[DaGaffer]

did he quote them at you vigourously?

No! Bit disappointing actually. He definitely looked the Fire & Brimstone type.

 

[00dave]

On the 29th of september 2000, I remember being encouraged to join a forum where I could talk about counter strike and stuff. That place was absolutely full of strange people, and has gotten stranger since

 

[TdC]

I know Sparx loves me, even if he curses my name every day, tries to kill me and refuses to have sex with me.

bring back the quotes database Deebs

Everyone is strange - everyone has a secret world in their head with only the occasional shaft of light from the outside giving us a glimpse of that which lives within.

lies! I'm always the same!



...wait....am I missing out?

this thread started so well and has degenerated so much

i just get accosted by alcoholic norwegians on buses

I saw a few in Oslo. One guy in a restaurant I was in got up to leave and fell flat on his face. His wife then proceeded to hit him with her umbrella while shouting in Norwegian. The staff had magically disappeared and some businessmen in a nearby booth nearly died laughing.

 

[tris-]

ive seen blokes fingering women openly in nightclubs when i was working in them. that is pretty strange if you think about it.

come to think of it, i fingered a bird on a dancefloor while she played with my doodle

 

[Turamber]

Tall gentleman wandering the streets of Banbury with the biggest feck off Eagle Owl I have seen in my life. Between the two of them there must have been 8.5-9 feet of weirdness that day, and that was ignoring my own contribution.

Edit: Oh and having seen the last post, when driving home from an audit assignment in Wolverhampton a few weeks ago I sat in a queue of traffic watching a girl of about 18/19 pull out a school kids todger and proceed to jerk it. Thankfully the lights changed and we were able to drive, incredulously, away. Tis hard to drive incredulously but there is an Appendix at the back of the highway code that covers it.

 

[nath]

Yesterday there was a quite old and rotund woman wandering the platform at Kennington shouting at someone, then moved on to another person.

"Stop following me, it's not OK for you to follow a woman like me"
"Same goes for you lot, you shouldn't be following me it's not right"
"I've got a boyfriend, you shouldn't be following a woman with a boyfriend"
"Go follow the ticket man at Elephant & Castle he likes to be followed but not me"

The got on the train and continued in the same fashion.