Gumbo
FH is my second home
- Joined
- Dec 22, 2003
- Messages
- 2,361
This was posted in another forum which I frequent, it didn't happen to me, or anyone that I know personally, so could be entirely made up, but I found it quite funny.
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just had an interesting chat with one of East Sussex's finest police officers - let's call him officer Dibble
The discussion went something like this
Dibble "good afternoon sir, is this your car"
me "yes, why have you stopped me?"
Dibble "How fast were you driving just before we stopped you?"
me "about 55/60mph"
Dibble "Actually it was 58mph, are you aware of the speed limit?
me "yes"
Dibble "then why were you going nearly 20 mph over the limit?" (at which point a lecture about the danger of speeding, failing to respond to road signs, how it was a country road etc etc etc)
me "sorry but are you aware that this section of the road is national speed limit?"
Dibble "no it's not. It is a 40 mph zone, the signs are back there"
me "so what about that sign I passed saying it was no longer a 40 zone but national limit?"
Dibble "there is no sign"
me "let's go back and have a look shall we?"
Dibble "there's no need, we clearly saw the 40 mph signs"
me "you are not local are you?"
Dibble, "no we are from Heathfield (about 20 miles away) but that doesn't
make any difference. You were still exceeding the speed limit"
me "If you were local you would know about the national limit sign on the post which is kind of hard to see since the council put a sign up which almost hides it"
Dibble "well we didn't see it"
me "does that mean it's not there then?"
Dibble "no, but it does mean that in our opinion you were speeding"
me "so you are going to give me a ticket for doing 58mph in a 60 mph zone because you didn't see the sign? Who's going to ring the local papers - you or me?"
Dibble "don't get sarcastic with me"
me "shall we go back and have a look at that sign now?"
Dibble "no I'll wait here with you and my partner will go back and check"
me "I'll lock my car up and we can all go back together - I can show you where the sign is then"
Dibble "do you think we are incapable of seeing a sign at the side of the road?"
me "I'm not going to answer that one because you'll probably accuse me of being sarcastic.........but isn't that why you stopped me in the first place"
Dibble then went to his car and sent his mate off to have a look, 2 minutes later he's back and the two of them are having a bit of a chat
Dibble "You are half right, there is a sign there but because it's partly obscured by other signage and the hedge then it doesn't apply"
me "you've just made that up haven't you?"
Dibble "no that's how it works so although the sign is there because you can't see it then it doesn't apply so you were speeding"
me " I did see it, that's why I accelerated from 40 mph to 60 mph, it was you that didn't see it which is why you stopped me for not speeding"
Dibble "I've told you about being sarcastic"
me "so if I were going the other way and didn't slow down for the 40mph sign which is actually partly hidden in the hedge at the moment I could use this argument and quote you to avoid getting nicked - would you write it down for me along with your name and number?"
Dibble "I've told you about being sarcastic"
me "Look this is going nowhere, either give me a ticket for speeding or let me go home"
I then got a pen out of my car door pocket and started to write down his number
Dibble "what are you doing"
me "without wishing to sound even slightly sarcastic, I'm writing down your number so that I can report you"
Dibble "OK, go on then, carry on, go home or wherever you were going just don't do it again"
me "don't do what again?"
Dibble - no answer just got in his car and they drove off
Now, should I report the muppet or not?
Andy
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just had an interesting chat with one of East Sussex's finest police officers - let's call him officer Dibble
The discussion went something like this
Dibble "good afternoon sir, is this your car"
me "yes, why have you stopped me?"
Dibble "How fast were you driving just before we stopped you?"
me "about 55/60mph"
Dibble "Actually it was 58mph, are you aware of the speed limit?
me "yes"
Dibble "then why were you going nearly 20 mph over the limit?" (at which point a lecture about the danger of speeding, failing to respond to road signs, how it was a country road etc etc etc)
me "sorry but are you aware that this section of the road is national speed limit?"
Dibble "no it's not. It is a 40 mph zone, the signs are back there"
me "so what about that sign I passed saying it was no longer a 40 zone but national limit?"
Dibble "there is no sign"
me "let's go back and have a look shall we?"
Dibble "there's no need, we clearly saw the 40 mph signs"
me "you are not local are you?"
Dibble, "no we are from Heathfield (about 20 miles away) but that doesn't
make any difference. You were still exceeding the speed limit"
me "If you were local you would know about the national limit sign on the post which is kind of hard to see since the council put a sign up which almost hides it"
Dibble "well we didn't see it"
me "does that mean it's not there then?"
Dibble "no, but it does mean that in our opinion you were speeding"
me "so you are going to give me a ticket for doing 58mph in a 60 mph zone because you didn't see the sign? Who's going to ring the local papers - you or me?"
Dibble "don't get sarcastic with me"
me "shall we go back and have a look at that sign now?"
Dibble "no I'll wait here with you and my partner will go back and check"
me "I'll lock my car up and we can all go back together - I can show you where the sign is then"
Dibble "do you think we are incapable of seeing a sign at the side of the road?"
me "I'm not going to answer that one because you'll probably accuse me of being sarcastic.........but isn't that why you stopped me in the first place"
Dibble then went to his car and sent his mate off to have a look, 2 minutes later he's back and the two of them are having a bit of a chat
Dibble "You are half right, there is a sign there but because it's partly obscured by other signage and the hedge then it doesn't apply"
me "you've just made that up haven't you?"
Dibble "no that's how it works so although the sign is there because you can't see it then it doesn't apply so you were speeding"
me " I did see it, that's why I accelerated from 40 mph to 60 mph, it was you that didn't see it which is why you stopped me for not speeding"
Dibble "I've told you about being sarcastic"
me "so if I were going the other way and didn't slow down for the 40mph sign which is actually partly hidden in the hedge at the moment I could use this argument and quote you to avoid getting nicked - would you write it down for me along with your name and number?"
Dibble "I've told you about being sarcastic"
me "Look this is going nowhere, either give me a ticket for speeding or let me go home"
I then got a pen out of my car door pocket and started to write down his number
Dibble "what are you doing"
me "without wishing to sound even slightly sarcastic, I'm writing down your number so that I can report you"
Dibble "OK, go on then, carry on, go home or wherever you were going just don't do it again"
me "don't do what again?"
Dibble - no answer just got in his car and they drove off
Now, should I report the muppet or not?
Andy
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Perfect
