Spiders!!

W

Wij

Guest
We don't mention that ! :eek:

We were both drunk and...

Argh, I've said too much :(
 
S

Shocko

Guest
Originally posted by Wij
It won't make you shiver as much as searching for 'meatotomy' on the internet :uhoh:
*never wonder what wij is talking about again* :puke:
 
S

S-Gray

Guest
Dear God Wij, i wanna know why you look for that stuff :puke:
 
Y

~YuckFou~

Guest
Spiders.
Goes back to when I was about 20 yrs old. Woke up in the middle of the night, opened my eyes, and there was a big hairy arsed spider dropping down on a web from the ceiling, 2 inches away from my face.
Freaked.
Jumped out of bed, threw back the covers, couldn't find the spider.
Slept on the floor.

Ladders.
Hate the bastards. OK up to about 10 feet, after that I get paraniod that the base is going to slip away from the wall. Happens even if the bugger is tied or I've got someone footing it.
No problem with heights, just ladders.
 
S

Sir Frizz

Guest
I have no fears.:)

I am INVINCIBLE!!!!


...






















*death*
 
F

Fergus

Guest
Spiders: pfft

Ladders: heh

Velvety Stuff: purlease!!!

Wasps: ARE CUNTS!!!!!

Having smirked at the spider thang and gone off for me dinner, I was happily drying a big glass dish thing, which caters well for grilled pasta with bacon and a nice cheese sauce for several people. When one of the wee flying about stinging fuckers happily lands on my hand whilst I'm not paying attention and stings me.

Needless to say aforemention glass bowl thing lands on the floor miraculously styas in one peice while I whimper like a child.

Fuckers the lot of them. Nothing but stinging annoying cunts.

/end
 
C

caLLous

Guest
Originally posted by Fergus
...a big glass dish thing, which caters well for grilled pasta with bacon and a nice cheese sauce for several people.
Heh, you felt the need to pimp the big glass dish thing? :)
 
F

Fergus

Guest
Merely setting the scene, and also the fact I would have got my arse kicked had said big glass dish thing not miraculously stayed in one piece...

On a cheery side note, I got stung on the hand, a mate got stung on the bell end a while ago. Now that was funny. :)

He literally shits himself at the mention of them now.
 
C

caLLous

Guest
I made up a hilarious dream in my sleep. I woke up laughing. But now I can't remember any of it. I hate dreams sometimes. :(
 
K

kryt

Guest
Have to agree with wasps, no spiders bother me, not even fuckoff big ones.

Wasps are gods creation purely to prevent sunbathing and picnics. If there's not one, there's millions of the buggers.

Daddy long legs are just bloody annoying, the gits constantly divebomb either myself or my screen, making any attempt at gaming futile, mind you, they have a better aim than me :)
 
H

Hashmonster

Guest
Originally posted by caLLous
I used to keep having a nightmare about being dumped in the middle of an ocean in a storm, and drowning... T'was kind of unpleasant.

freaky... i used to have the same nightmare! scary stuff

Spiders are a big no no for me, hate em - always check me bed before i go to bed.
 
F

FatBusinessman

Guest
Originally posted by Fergus
On a cheery side note, I got stung on the hand, a mate got stung on the bell end a while ago. Now that was funny. :)

You have a really nasty definition of cheery, you know that?
 
L

L_Plates

Guest
i dont think a spiders size means alot, AS IM only 5'2 SO THERE ALL BIG TO ME


Spider = leg it :(
 
F

Fergus

Guest
You have a really nasty definition of cheery, you know that?

Big fat bastard jumping about and sqealing like a pig before we actually realised what had happened....you had to be there...mebbe...
 
C

caLLous

Guest
Originally posted by L_Plates
i dont think a spiders size means alot, AS IM only 5'2 SO THERE ALL BIG TO ME
How many spiders do you know that are bigger than 5'2"?
 
S

(Shovel)

Guest
Spiders - mmmmgh. I can cope now, but I've not come across any *really* big ones since learning to "cope".

May Bugs - very irritating. They are only around for about 10 days a year, but they falls down chimneys and buzz around. They don't sting, but they make a LOT of noise. They look a bit like wasps too, and home in on heat. Therefore computers, and people sitting by computers are a prime target. I once had one appear just as I turned the lights off, massive buzzing noise, light goes back on, the thing (bumble bee sized) flies right at my head, not knowing what it is I dive out of the way and it lands on my pillow where my head was. Leaped out cause I thought it was a wasp. See below.

Wasps - Evil evil evil. My bed was by the window. Wasp was on the curtains. I rolled in my sleep and knocked the thing onto my pillow. You can see where this is going. I roll over again. Hand next to pillow I think. LOUD buzzing noise. Pain in hand. I have never got out of bed so quick in my entire life.
uurrrgh.
 
F

FatBusinessman

Guest
Originally posted by caLLous

How many spiders do you know that are bigger than 5'2"?

movie_14.jpg


This one?
 
S

S-Gray

Guest
heh, when i was a kid, i left a can of coke on the side of the window while i went out, when i come back, i took a swig, next minute theres a fuckin buzzin noise in my mouth, so in a panic i just spray all this f00kin coke over the wall and what have you, then i notice a Wasp on the floor :/

I have yet to have been Stung by a Bee/Wasp, or bitten by a Spider.. and i dont intend to get stung or bitten ever :uhoh:
 
S

Shocko

Guest
Originally posted by Super_Gray[SG]
I have yet to have been Stung by a Bee/Wasp, or bitten by a Spider.. and i dont intend to get stung or bitten ever :uhoh:
The trick to not getting stung by a Bee:
Just ignore them. If they insist on buzzing around you, shoo them away gently. They will not sting you unless you attack them.


The trick to not getting stung by a Wasp:
On sighting such a creature, do not look away. You must watch it perminently. Should it come within 1.5m of you, start shouting in a high pitched voice. Now begin running around, waving your arms violently. Should the wasp not get the hint, start waving your arms at it. If it starts trying to attack you, pickup the nearest large object, and use it to smite the vermin. If it happens to be attacking below waste height, you may resort to kicking the Wasp, but only if you're wearing shoes, and are good at kicking without losing your balance. If all else fails, run away as fast as you can, screaming loudly.

Tips on how to avoid bitten by a spider:
Don't wave your fingers at them like an idiot.


This concludes today's lesson :D
 
S

S-Gray

Guest
Originally posted by Shocko
If all else fails, run away as fast as you can, screaming loudly.

I always do this, running round like a Kid holding my head shouting "Get the FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!!"
 
T

Testin da Cable

Guest
I hate wasps. If I could wish death on anything at all on this planet it would be wasps. I hate them.
 
L

L_Plates

Guest
Originally posted by caLLous

How many spiders do you know that are bigger than 5'2"?

the one that i put a saddle on and ride to work everyday!!!


;)
 
C

caLLous

Guest
Wasps are cunts because they can sting and get away with it. They can be carefree about it, whereas bees have to be pretty damn sure they want to hurt someone.
 
D

Damini

Guest
Wasps...

There is no greater evil.






And donkeys. But also hair lice.
 
S

S-Gray

Guest
i think Donkeys are sweet heh, why dont you love donkeys?? tut tut
 
D

Damini

Guest
I have my reasons. I'm trying to move on and grow as a person, so I shan't divulge (again, its been BWed before).

However, when the revolution comes, they will be the first ones to fall. AND I SHALL BE AVENGED!
 

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