Naffets
Can't get enough of FH
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so i saw this clio for sale....
- Thread starter Naffets
- Start date
Roo Stercogburn
Resident Freddy
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- Dec 22, 2003
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That is really quite awesome 
Genedril
Part of the furniture
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Ahh, it's in Farnborough. Unless the place has changed then the locals are disappointly the way he's described his potential market.
Do the teenage Mums still have two prams a piece and no sign of a bloke Edmond? Not to mention a fascination with ED chains....
Do the teenage Mums still have two prams a piece and no sign of a bloke Edmond? Not to mention a fascination with ED chains....
Hawkwind
FH is my second home
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That sounds more like Camberly, Farnborough had far nicer teenage mums when I was last there! Although, for Hampshire/Surrey you really can't beat Portsmouth for fat tatooed teenage uglies pushing twin buggies.
Roo Stercogburn
Resident Freddy
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I snagged the text yesterday just in case the ebay police did such a thing.
Here it is:
Attention Teenage Drug Dealers/Low Life & Oxygen Thieves
If you think you've saved enough benefit from your 4 children before your 20, this could be the answer to your prayers.
A proper bastardised, chaved up Skippy mobile if ever there was. Enhance your street cred at the local drive thru burger joint or council estate shop front no end with this utterly tacky converted little Renault Clio. Not your Gran's idea of a lift to town, granted, but a fantastic opportunity to increase 3 fold your class A drug selling ability. This is the car you need boys. The punters will flock to the window for your home grown skunk and other illegal substances. you just ain't gonna look out of place in this little beauty! Now I've made sure the tax ran out last November, so there is a big pat on your scrawny little backs already.
Dig out yer favourite unwashed "Umbro" hoodie and come cast your shifty little eyes on this. Ideal for the "Street Pharmacist" and other suitably attired twats. Your gonna need a baseball cap with this beauty, ideally one that comes with no fitting instructions. Heaven forbid you should put it on the right way. What better way to compliment your stolen Nike Air Max trainers than to be seen dangling a foot outta this pocket rocket.
Worried about the Babylon spotting ya, no need. Car comes fully equipped with proper blacked out gangster glass on the side windows. Hell, you could even fill the back up with yer ugly chav kids and knowone'd see 'em. doesn't get much better boys. Ah, but it does. It does. To show your complete and utter lack of taste and knowledge of the motor car you'll also find the ridiculous rock hard lowered suspension to your taste as well. Why not get a step closer to Gran's inheritance by offering her a lift in ya new "wheels" then taking her down the post Office flat out over the speed humps round your estate and hopefully knocking the spine out of her? Might need 2 laps but god damn them single teenage mums smoking Marlboro Lights outside the chippy will be impressed fella's. You know that they like a ride like this. Turn up the Alpine Head Unit, stick in your favourite and incomprehensible "Drum & Bass" Cd and the throbbing out the 6x9 parcel shelf will have them pregnant in no time.
To complete the proper drug dealer look, a tasteless stripe has been fitted from the front to the rear. Finished in "Air Max" white it really doesn't complement the car in any shape or form. Rather like you and your Brethren spitting on the floor constantly. Completely needless but you think it makes a statement about you. You'll also enjoy the totally pointless but ridiculously noisy after market air filter. About as helpful as a fart in an astronaut suit, but hell, you didn't get where you are today by being helpful, did you?
I'm quite sad to see the thing go really. There is nothing more pleasurable to me at 41 than to drive round in this bit of shit and look a complete prick. I'd much rather hand the opportunity to you work shy crack head council tenants any day. This little set of wheels is gonna let the other hoodies know you've made it. cocaine and skunk selling is never gonna get any easier for the lucky buyer of this car. I might have a deal on a couple of gram's of smack or coke, but ideally I'd need to get a serious drug habit before hand. Perhaps someone could help? You can pay in cash or wraps, I'm easy really. Bring along your mums credit card or one that your mate has cloned down the petrol station. If it is going to be hard cash, please ensure it is discretely hidden in a used Tesco carrier bag, and you have folded one £20 note around 4 others. Makes counting so much easier.
For any female buyer I'm offering a free Tatoo of something utterly meaninless to go in the middle of your lower back. If you haven't already got your "Tramp Stamp" that is.
If your an under-age drink driver, or under-age driver for that matter, this little beauty really isn't going to attract the attention of the local constabulary at all. you'll drift pass any patrol car effortlessly. Make sure there is at least 6 of you in the car though, Splif in hand. If your driving, have another swig from your 2 litre plastic "LIDL" brand cider as you nonchalantly flip the bird to the passing police patrol. Head off for the nearest estate for some tyre screeching fun. They ain't never gonna take you alive in this.
The car does like a good rev in the morning at any unsocial hour. Neighbours will love it and feel proud to live in the same road. don't forget to rev the pants off of it at all junctions and roundabouts as well. This really will increase the length of your manhood no end. your virginity is gonna be a thing of the past when the babes see you in this "fanny magnet". You can almost bet your last eighth of puff your gonna get laid. Hell, might even get a few STD's as well. your gonna get a proper bird with this motor.
For the disqualified driver I'll even offer to recover it from outside the local Magistrates or police station. What better way to impress the local Judicial system in one final act of defiance before collecting your ASBO?
Don't let the frivolous matter of actually holding a current, valid drivers licence and insurance put you off this bargain. A visit to your local crack house should procure some documentation from as little as fifty quid.
Nuff said, innit.
Here it is:
Attention Teenage Drug Dealers/Low Life & Oxygen Thieves
If you think you've saved enough benefit from your 4 children before your 20, this could be the answer to your prayers.
A proper bastardised, chaved up Skippy mobile if ever there was. Enhance your street cred at the local drive thru burger joint or council estate shop front no end with this utterly tacky converted little Renault Clio. Not your Gran's idea of a lift to town, granted, but a fantastic opportunity to increase 3 fold your class A drug selling ability. This is the car you need boys. The punters will flock to the window for your home grown skunk and other illegal substances. you just ain't gonna look out of place in this little beauty! Now I've made sure the tax ran out last November, so there is a big pat on your scrawny little backs already.
Dig out yer favourite unwashed "Umbro" hoodie and come cast your shifty little eyes on this. Ideal for the "Street Pharmacist" and other suitably attired twats. Your gonna need a baseball cap with this beauty, ideally one that comes with no fitting instructions. Heaven forbid you should put it on the right way. What better way to compliment your stolen Nike Air Max trainers than to be seen dangling a foot outta this pocket rocket.
Worried about the Babylon spotting ya, no need. Car comes fully equipped with proper blacked out gangster glass on the side windows. Hell, you could even fill the back up with yer ugly chav kids and knowone'd see 'em. doesn't get much better boys. Ah, but it does. It does. To show your complete and utter lack of taste and knowledge of the motor car you'll also find the ridiculous rock hard lowered suspension to your taste as well. Why not get a step closer to Gran's inheritance by offering her a lift in ya new "wheels" then taking her down the post Office flat out over the speed humps round your estate and hopefully knocking the spine out of her? Might need 2 laps but god damn them single teenage mums smoking Marlboro Lights outside the chippy will be impressed fella's. You know that they like a ride like this. Turn up the Alpine Head Unit, stick in your favourite and incomprehensible "Drum & Bass" Cd and the throbbing out the 6x9 parcel shelf will have them pregnant in no time.
To complete the proper drug dealer look, a tasteless stripe has been fitted from the front to the rear. Finished in "Air Max" white it really doesn't complement the car in any shape or form. Rather like you and your Brethren spitting on the floor constantly. Completely needless but you think it makes a statement about you. You'll also enjoy the totally pointless but ridiculously noisy after market air filter. About as helpful as a fart in an astronaut suit, but hell, you didn't get where you are today by being helpful, did you?
I'm quite sad to see the thing go really. There is nothing more pleasurable to me at 41 than to drive round in this bit of shit and look a complete prick. I'd much rather hand the opportunity to you work shy crack head council tenants any day. This little set of wheels is gonna let the other hoodies know you've made it. cocaine and skunk selling is never gonna get any easier for the lucky buyer of this car. I might have a deal on a couple of gram's of smack or coke, but ideally I'd need to get a serious drug habit before hand. Perhaps someone could help? You can pay in cash or wraps, I'm easy really. Bring along your mums credit card or one that your mate has cloned down the petrol station. If it is going to be hard cash, please ensure it is discretely hidden in a used Tesco carrier bag, and you have folded one £20 note around 4 others. Makes counting so much easier.
For any female buyer I'm offering a free Tatoo of something utterly meaninless to go in the middle of your lower back. If you haven't already got your "Tramp Stamp" that is.
If your an under-age drink driver, or under-age driver for that matter, this little beauty really isn't going to attract the attention of the local constabulary at all. you'll drift pass any patrol car effortlessly. Make sure there is at least 6 of you in the car though, Splif in hand. If your driving, have another swig from your 2 litre plastic "LIDL" brand cider as you nonchalantly flip the bird to the passing police patrol. Head off for the nearest estate for some tyre screeching fun. They ain't never gonna take you alive in this.
The car does like a good rev in the morning at any unsocial hour. Neighbours will love it and feel proud to live in the same road. don't forget to rev the pants off of it at all junctions and roundabouts as well. This really will increase the length of your manhood no end. your virginity is gonna be a thing of the past when the babes see you in this "fanny magnet". You can almost bet your last eighth of puff your gonna get laid. Hell, might even get a few STD's as well. your gonna get a proper bird with this motor.
For the disqualified driver I'll even offer to recover it from outside the local Magistrates or police station. What better way to impress the local Judicial system in one final act of defiance before collecting your ASBO?
Don't let the frivolous matter of actually holding a current, valid drivers licence and insurance put you off this bargain. A visit to your local crack house should procure some documentation from as little as fifty quid.
Nuff said, innit.
Overdriven
Dumpster Fire of The South
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- Jan 23, 2004
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- 12,906
That's awesome.
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Its Basingstoke that now holds the title of 'chav central' around these parts, although Aldershite does come a close second
I have lived in Aldershot all my life, but i refuse to go into the town to get anything, i will happily drive to Guildford or Camberley than set foot anywhere near my home town's wonderfull shopping amenities (sp)
I have lived in Aldershot all my life, but i refuse to go into the town to get anything, i will happily drive to Guildford or Camberley than set foot anywhere near my home town's wonderfull shopping amenities (sp)
Chronictank
FH is my second home
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Roo Stercogburn
Resident Freddy
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Or... just read the thread.
kiliarien
Part of the furniture
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Roo Stercogburn
Resident Freddy
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Hmm yeh, although valid, it was a bit of a snotty response from me.
<shrugs>
<shrugs>
Chronictank
FH is my second home
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Hawkwind
FH is my second home
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Lol, I own a house in Basingstoke. Although it's in a posh bit opposite the Mays Bounty cricket ground. Still nets me 1400 a month rent on a 200 pound mortgage so I can't complain about it.
I used to live in North Waltham between Winchester and Basingstoke and used to avoid Basingstoke as much as possible. Did spend some time there 2 years ago and thought it had actually improved alot. With the town center redeveloped and loads of new bars etc. Actually had a few decent nights out with some old friends.
Don't know Aldershot that well but being a Garisson town I expect it's full of scousers or other northern chav types
Used to work in Frimley and that really was a crap hole along with Camberely.
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Actually the Army boys are ok, there was a problem with them about 20yrs ago, and i think there is still a bit of a stigma because of it. It used to be the Para's, but they all moved out now
I do go to Amazingstoke to the cinema, which is in the new bit, its good for food. The new part of the shopping centre doesn't seem to attract the chavs for some reason, its like an invisible force field that they can't seem to cross
When you step outside into the old bit with Primark and the pound shops, they suddenly appear, swarming like zombies. Its a mass of shell suits and Croydon
facelifts, there is a Starbucks out there that never gets busy, i think its because they don't know what coffee is and wonder why they dont sell Special Brew or White Lightning
I do go to Amazingstoke to the cinema, which is in the new bit, its good for food. The new part of the shopping centre doesn't seem to attract the chavs for some reason, its like an invisible force field that they can't seem to cross
When you step outside into the old bit with Primark and the pound shops, they suddenly appear, swarming like zombies. Its a mass of shell suits and Croydon
facelifts, there is a Starbucks out there that never gets busy, i think its because they don't know what coffee is and wonder why they dont sell Special Brew or White Lightning
Genedril
Part of the furniture
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2003
- Messages
- 1,077
Parents live in Overton which is just down the road from N.W. Bit of a culture shock when I moved their from Nottingham all those years ago (though the O V has changed a bit over the years). Avoided SmokingBaz like the plague growing up and spent a lot of time on the train to Reading (which had some quite good bars when I was 16).
Lived in Church Crookam outside Fleet when I worked in Farnborough for the P.O. at Concept 2000 (horrible building really) didn't know Farnborough that well apart from the lunch time jaunts to find something edible - always failed but did find a plethora of ugly teenage Mums
.Sister calls the place Amazingstoke too Ed; I know it's sarcastic but I can't put Amazing in the same sentance as that place no matter how hard I try.
My grandparents lived in Fleet, me and grandpa used to play pooh sticks in the little stream that ran just outside the play ground and we used to go fishing in fleet pond too (with bamboo fishing poles we made ourselves) I almost caught one once too.
One night the adults all had a chinese takeaway and the next morning I found the left overs and planted a bamboo shoot; the next time we went to visit the grandparnets had planted a big patch of bamboo and said it was from by bamboo shoot that I'd planted and that a panda lived in there now.
I quite liked fleet, there were always loks of ghurkahs(sp??) there and I used to get told tales of how fierce they are in battle.
One night the adults all had a chinese takeaway and the next morning I found the left overs and planted a bamboo shoot; the next time we went to visit the grandparnets had planted a big patch of bamboo and said it was from by bamboo shoot that I'd planted and that a panda lived in there now.
I quite liked fleet, there were always loks of ghurkahs(sp??) there and I used to get told tales of how fierce they are in battle.
Roo Stercogburn
Resident Freddy
- Joined
- Dec 22, 2003
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Basingstoke doesn't seem any worse to me than any other built up area. I don't live there but I'm there four days out of eight.
Gourmet Burger Kitchen for the nom nom win.
Gourmet Burger Kitchen for the nom nom win.
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- Apr 21, 2008
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- 11,574
Yes thats the one, it was the big mirrored building. Ugly as fuck
QFT
