simplify please

TdC

Trem's hunky sex love muffin
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ME: our server, using IP 192.168.10.2, can't reach your server at 192.168.0.3 please set your routing correctly.
THEM: we've set up a route to 10.10.0.1 but can't reach your server. you should check this.
ME: our server, using IP 192.168.10.2, can't reach your server at 192.168.0.3 please set your routing correctly: please input route add -net 192.168.10.0/24 192.168.0.3 and edit your static routing file.
THEM: like we said, we've set up a route to 10.10.0.1 and have removed all references to 160.3.150.4 but can't reach your server. you should check this. you are clearly wrong.
ME: our server, using IP [highlight]192.168.10.2[/highlight], can't reach your server at 192.168.0.3 please set your routing correctly.
THEM: look, we've done all the 137.x.x.x stuff, and have removed all the printers from the system. this not working is so your fault. our server is very expensive and you suck so ner!
ME: *gurgling noises*

[...time passes...]

BOSS: oi tdc, lazy ****0x, why you not fixed dept. "wereallmorons" server yet? eh? eh! their boss-man calling me at lunch! bollox! foo! ner! I like green thing! eh? your problem, not mine!

[...time passes...]

ME: please let me end, God, do it now :(
 

Draylor

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Simplify? Sure

Your working with a bunch of twats :m00:
 

Sar

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Aww Teedles. Don't let the n00bs bring you down.
 

TdC

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I have no idea what they actually did. they just respond randomly to whatever I say....


ME: please bring up the interface bge3
THEY: I LOIEK CHEESE MATES!!!1
 

TdC

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it's a bit unsettling how much I want to kill them :/


*tremble*
 

Will

/bin/su
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Was this conversation on email? Surely its an obvious example of stupidity in action you could show to your boss?
 

TdC

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the conversation is actually in one of our problem records :(
 

ECA

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Tell them to ring you back after they can prove they have an IQ over 80.
 

`mongoose

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TDC

Both those servers are on the same subnet? Why the do they need to fix their routing?

There should be no routing involved on the same network subnet.. :confused:

M
 

TdC

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well, in my final response in the record I did imply that the problem could be due to their operator *possibly* being retarded. I'm semi sure that problem record quality control (yes, we have that) will be emailing me demanding a proper report :/

I've been in trouble with them before, once for explaining that the catastrophic failure of a certain system was due to it being "a steaming pile of antiquated shite" though I really meant the IT manager involved and not the system itself.
 

TdC

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`mongoose said:
TDC

Both those servers are on the same subnet? Why the do they need to fix their routing?

There should be no routing involved on the same network subnet.. :confused:

M

you're quite correct! well spotted! damn I wasn't paying attention in translating heh :) be aware, I had to change IP's and the very nature of the problem before I'd let myself put it on the internet. BigCompany is a bit of a strange place like that. I'll edit my post to make it correct in relation to this though :) The rest of it remains the same though, sadly :(
 

`mongoose

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aha

I was guessing you'd had to change the IP's but I was thinking tis a bit wierd that they need to add routing for ips on the same subnet :p

It sounds to me like you need to take out the "Listen to me!" stick (tm, mongoose beating inc) and hit them with it until they start obeying the msg :)

I know your pain, the best one I ever encountered was
Them "You know you fitted a firewall?"
Me "Yes"
Them "Where did you fit it?"
ME " In between the core and the Edge router to the internet"
Them "So it wouldn't stop me printing then?"
Me " Do you normally print to the internet?"
Them *blank look*
Me *bangs head against wall*

:)

M
 

TdC

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*hug*


lol "you know you fitted...?" no, I fitted it whilst asleep that night!

I had a good one this morning from a mainframer (though it's not really good form to make fun of them tbh). "I can't ping your server so it must be down" (we don't allow ICMP/echo requests)
 

Draylor

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TdC said:
BigCompany is a bit of a strange place like that.
I hope BigCompany isnt the one that owns the 1 uncensored IP you left in the original post then ;)
 

TdC

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I'm pretty sure they don't: I picked it entirely at random and I know all our nets by heart (yes I am sad) :)


edit: yes I am aware that picking something entirely at random allows me to choose an IP from a BigCompany range. but not when it's tdcrandom! :)
 

`mongoose

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TdC said:
*hug*


lol "you know you fitted...?" no, I fitted it whilst asleep that night!

I had a good one this morning from a mainframer (though it's not really good form to make fun of them tbh). "I can't ping your server so it must be down" (we don't allow ICMP/echo requests)

Rofl

I've had that from University who swore blind we were blocking their whole IP range cos they couldn't ping us... :D


Had a citrix 'consultant' out fitting an access front end who wondered why he couldn't get on the internet when he hadn't entered a gateway. Like Duh!

Gotta love em

M
 

TdC

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hurr. I moved a dept's server into a secure network at their request and then had to handle their priority 1 incident call that their server had gone down...

...I'd foolishly assumed they *knew* that a server in a secure network would require a VPN client to connect to it and that they *had* a VPN client plus the correct firewall authorisations. Little did I know they had nothing of the kind :)

their manager's the sort who doesn't read emails and believes that all red tape and documentation can be circumvented by him calling and ranting, so I sent him all the forms he needed to fill in and instructions what to do with them and what departements to send them to via snailmail. last time I checked nobody had logged into the server in over 90 days :/
 

`mongoose

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Heh

People who scream & shout to get their way irritate me. It annoys me but I try and give the best service I can, but some people you just cannot help... No matter what you do

M
 

TdC

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`mongoose said:
some people you just cannot help... No matter what you do

my boss has a knack for sensing this :/

boss: blethering idiot from the stupidmorons dept just called, know what he said?
me: *ignore*
boss: yeah right, he said you weren't being proactive enough in solving his issues (or other management-speak to that effect)
me: I'm helping him to the fullest extent of his capacity to absorb my input
boss: smartypants, just do whatever he wants or I'm giving your mobile number out to all the other bosses...
me: :eek:
 

old.Tohtori

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Well...to be on the other side and ACTUALLY being wrong in my every day computer shenannigans(...err...), this happened:

Tech support: Ey...you know you got some company illegal software on your computer...
Me: Huh? What illegal software?
Tech support: Well that netradio isn't cool with company policies.
Me: Oh...sorry. thought it wasn't that big.
Tech: No worries, just keep it on a CD basis.
Me: Allrighty.

(this all, while tech guy on other side of monitor, me, running IRC, 16 gigs of DL'd songs from our "Generally Legal" folder in our "work" files and such and such)
 

TdC

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hehe you should be sooo glad I don't work at your place :)
 

Louster

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TdC said:
boss: smartypants, just do whatever he wants or I'm giving your mobile number out to all the other bosses...
me: :eek:
Can you not point out that 'what he wants' is not what he actually wants, as he's an idiot?

It sounds frustrating. :(
 

TdC

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I know, but that would expose me to his "ok, so I have to convince you" pep-talk that tends to start with "Somtimes Johnny has to do things he doesn't like..." :(

so I just set up the backup application even though there is no connection to the backup network, or set up an FTP server even though we explicitly forbid that or have to explain that there is no corporate DNS in the secured networks or explain that there is no network connection to the server because someone forgot to put in an order for it and that I can't let people on the server to install the application because it has no network connection due to reason A and that I don't care that they've flown in especially from the US because telling me that won't magically make network cables appear because they have to be ordered via the webform that we made so we could streamline things as much as possible and allowing the cable-pulling dept to actually get their job done with some smidgin of effeciency even though they'd never understand that and that they're more than welcome to plug into the server serially but then they won't have a GUI and not having a GUI tends to turn most 300EUR/hr "experts" into gibbering fools but helping them will cause my manager to be displeased with me because then I won't be able to hold to my planning and not helping them will cause my manager to be displeased with me because my trying to abide by the rules is giving other people grief and.... and... and... </rant>
 

ECA

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TdC said:
I know, but that would expose me to his "ok, so I have to convince you" pep-talk that tends to start with "Somtimes Johnny has to do things he doesn't like..." :(

That made me burst out laughing.
IRL.
Thank god I'm at home and not in the office :p
 

yaruar

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TdC said:
hehe you should be sooo glad I don't work at your place :)

Or me. I used to hunt through the networks for mp3's or illegal stuff and just delete them and rename the folders something rude like \dont_fucking_waste_my_server_space\

Although i can't do that now as all the music is legit here.......

I did once show a manager the porn collection of one of his employees who pissed me royally off... Suffice to say he didn't last much longer in the company.
 

Will

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Arrrrrrrggghhhhh, my bloody IT helpdesk...

I'm trying to change an account, but an error happens. I've sent three people the error report, and they reply to tell me that I should be doing exactly what I want to do, except the error message fucking stops me, you fools!!!!
 

TdC

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yaruar said:
I did once show a manager the porn collection of one of his employees who pissed me royally off... Suffice to say he didn't last much longer in the company.

I once got a support call to restore someone's lost bookmarks (they were "very important" they claimed). he had several tabs of boob sites catering especially to "Large natural breasts and nipples". I restored the corporately approved bookmark tab and never heard anything more of it.

fucking time wasters :/
 

TdC

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Will said:
the error message fucking stops me, you fools!!!!

hehehe it's the server. you're clearly not meant to help this person :)
 

Whipped

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I've been having a great one over the past few weeks. Ordered an Alienware laptop for a new CAD guy at work (You may have seen the photos in the Hardware forum) jus after Christmas and it only arrived the other day.

Fair enough, waiting this long was annoying him a bit, but there was nothing we could do. Then he decided he wanted to change the delivery location to his office. When we explained we needed it for a day at the headoffice in order to set it up (Virus checkers, ms updates, helpdesk software, office install, etc.) he got even more annoyed.

So, he finally recieves his laptop and we've setup it up with the wrong username, something that is "annoying" as he put it.

He phones me the next day to say he's used the system restore disks to restore the machine so he could put his proper name into the system. Oh what a surprise, it's now at the point he wanted the laptop in the first place.

So, first thing I do is connect to his PC via RD, install a few odds and ends and remove his adminsitrator rights as is policy. Can't be having these twats using their very expensive laptops from a gaming site to install games on, can we ;)

Oh lord, does he go ballistic.

Him : I need admin rights to install software.
Me : What software?
Him : I need the rights, I don't play games, I'm not rying to con you, I just need to be able to install software.
Me : Give me a list of the software and I'll install it from here.
Him : But what if I'm off site and I need to install some software.
Me: Though.

I finally relented today, so I didn't have to sit on the phone with him in order for him to swap CDs, so I gave him admin rights for around 2 hours.

I login to remove them and he's installed 3D Mark. Bragging to people no doubt. Try and install Half Life 2 now you fucker!!

Oh, he's also complainging that Office now isn't installed. Hmmm, wonder why that is you numpty!!
 

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