Secondary Schools

[Damini]

Kind of linked to my other thread, but dual purpose here. The book I'm writing is set in a secondary school (and this one might actually get published - wahey), and this neatly ties in with the fact I'm contemplating teaching secondary school, so I want to get more info about it.

It's been nearly ten years since I went to secondary school, and it was a godforsaken hell hole then. What at the current preferences of bullying? Do teachers even bother giving detention anymore? Do they bother patrolling smokers alley? Do you still flick fountain pens up people's backs when they aren't looking?

Is there any interesting new politics with schools? Like problems with people selling off school grounds, or not allowed to do sports because its too competitive/people will sue?

Finally, any funny/nasty stories from your school? The harshest things bullies have done to pupils or teachers, the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you in school, and so on...

Ta my little monkeys!

 

[Tom]

In my school they had huge sports facilities. A 5-aside football pitch, but with a rough tarmac/gravel surface was one of them. It had a very high green wire mesh fence all the way around, and one day a lad called Martin was asked to retrieve a ball that had gone over the fence. He ran to what looked like a large hole in the fence, at full speed, and didn't stop until he hit the single piece of wire that was still there, horizontally. It hit him midriff, and knocked him out for ages, but I can tell you it was funny as fuck.

We had a maths teacher we used to wind up, god it was awful for her, she just couldnt control us. Thing is, I don't feel guilty about it, even now.

 

[Nylex]

Well at my secondary school, someone touched a teacher's bum. Needless to say he was expelled.

Also, someone in my history class asked our teacher, "Miss, what if a black person wanted to join the KKK?". Can't remember what she said, but LOL.

 

[mank!]

Detention - people rarely bothered turning up for it, I didn't and nobody else I knew did. Instead of detention we'd just get put in isolation/exclusion for the rest of the day, which meant they'd put us in a cupboard with some 'work' to do. It was quite useful because you were free to sit there and read or listen to music or whatever. Did get a bit boring though.

Anyone who wanted a fag would leave the school grounds via the gate where the buses used to park in the morning and run over to the Church across the road and go and sit round the back and have a quick fag between lessons if you were super-fast or at morning break. In year 11 we were allowed into town at lunch, so people generally smoked if they wanted to, despite the fact we weren't supposed to smoke in our school uniform even thought most of us were 16. One or two teachers would be on lunch duty in town, which meant they basically wandered around town with their lunch looking for people to tell off about smoking.

I've never heard nor seen of the fountain pen thing, though I do remember poking a hole in a pen cartridge and spraying it all over someone's jumper.

The biggest change I noticed from when I started school to when I left was with the young'uns. When I joined year 7, we were all scared of the older people (particularly the year 11's) and had respect for them. Gradually this changed, and by the time I got to year 11 you'd see 4ft kids in year 7 trying to start a fight with some year 11 with bumfluff on his chin. They were cheeky little fucks.

Can't think of anything else of note. Not sure if this was useful or not.. :/

 

[Damini]

We used to have an English teacher, and everytime she turned her back someone would cry out "Moooother!" in a strange whine, in a concerted attempt to drive her insane.

At one school Disco at kid that had been expelled turned up, and the head master chased him in circles until the police arrived, who chased him in circles, until he finally gave them the slip, then he chased them in circles.

Across the school field.

In their police car, which he had stolen.

 

[dysfunction]

Thats when a gun comes in handy

 

[mank!]

Originally posted by Damini
We used to have an English teacher, and everytime she turned her back someone would cry out "Moooother!" in a strange whine, in a concerted attempt to drive her insane.

At one school Disco at kid that had been expelled turned up, and the head master chased him in circles until the police arrived, who chased him in circles, until he finally gave them the slip, then he chased them in circles.

Across the school field.

In their police car, which he had stolen.

lol, great. People who get expelled at our school always kept turning up and hanging around. They caused trouble to get kicked out, then when they did they kept coming back. *shrug*

 

[~Mobius~]

My schools crap. Did have some fun though.

Slamming a book on the table so when the female teacher walks past her skirt flies up was always good for a cheap thrill.

 

[throdgrain]

I went to school in the late 70's, and we had a PE teacher called Mr Rea, who was actually a carbo copy of the mad games teacher out of that TV programme, The Grimlys. He used to line us all up against a wall in the gym, then kick footballs at us as hard as he could This actually happened ! And could be quite painfull for the slower kids . The "game" finished with the last kid in , all the others sitting on the floor weeping etc, jumping about for ages as demon Mr Rea kicked footballs at him .
Now I mention it, another of our games teachers if you did something wrong, for example forgot your kit, would ask what size shoe you took . You would say "size 9 sir" , he would get a size 9 frm a box. And hit you with it .
Happy days
He also had a wooden paddle with "the board of correction " painted on it. He used to hit you with that too ...

 

[pcg79]

One time a kid got run over by a DT teacher.
And people let off fireworks in the playground around November time.
And another DT teacher got chairs and stuff thrown at her.
And we used to throw stuff out windows - like chairs and stuff.
And there was this kid that barked...

 

[dysfunction]

Originally posted by pcg79
One time a kid got run over by a DT teacher.
And people let off fireworks in the playground around November time.
And another DT teacher got chairs and stuff thrown at her.
And we used to throw stuff out windows - like chairs and stuff.
And there was this kid that barked...

And there was this one time at band camp...

 

[Xtro 2.0]

Originally posted by pcg79
One time a kid got run over by a DT teacher.
And people let off fireworks in the playground around November time.
And another DT teacher got chairs and stuff thrown at her.
And we used to throw stuff out windows - like chairs and stuff.
And there was this kid that barked...

DT? Have they all turned to drink?

 

[mank!]

There was a teacher at school called Mr Evans who was a mental Scotsman. He twatted someone once for being a "cheeky bastard". All the staff were scared shitless of him, so he never got done for it at all.

 

[Nylex]

Originally posted by pcg79
And there was this kid that barked...

Someone in your year?

 

[~Mobius~]

Originally posted by mank!
There was a teacher at school called Mr Evans who was a mental Scotsman. He twatted someone once for being a "cheeky bastard". All the staff were scared shitless of him, so he never got done for it at all.

Err what school? We've got a teacher called Mr Evans who beats up other kids.

 

[Sir Frizz]

I remember one science lesson way back in Yr 7 when i looked at a group of people one minute, look again and there's all this ink drenched over the wall and on peoples backs.

But my fave was my art teacher in Yr 11 who went by the name of Mr.Vardy. This guy was a royal cock. People would throw lumps of clay all over the class room and he'd act totally oblivious to it. On my table, we had this one lesson where we had to glue shit into our books, we ended up using it all, not in our books, but throwing it at eachother in a kind of foodfight.

Then there was this crazy slag. She was one of those more hardcore problem children. She said she needed a piss during a music lesson. She wasn't lying and right there and then, squatted on the floor and let rip. She tried to clean up with those big ole' electric keyboards.

:|

 

[~Mobius~]

Originally posted by Sir Frizz
Then there was this crazy slag. She was one of those more hardcore problem children. She said she needed a piss during a music lesson. She wasn't lying and right there and then, squatted on the floor and let rip. She tried to clean up with those big ole' electric keyboards.

Did you get to see it?!

 

[mank!]

Originally posted by ~Mobius~
Err what school? We've got a teacher called Mr Evans who beats up other kids.

Does he teach Geography?

 

[kameleon]

Originally posted by throdgrain
I went to school in the late 70's, and we had a PE teacher called Mr Rea, who was actually a carbo copy of the mad games teacher out of that TV programme, The Grimlys. He used to line us all up against a wall in the gym, then kick footballs at us as hard as he could This actually happened ! And could be quite painfull for the slower kids . The "game" finished with the last kid in , all the others sitting on the floor weeping etc, jumping about for ages as demon Mr Rea kicked footballs at him .
Now I mention it, another of our games teachers if you did something wrong, for example forgot your kit, would ask what size shoe you took . You would say "size 9 sir" , he would get a size 9 frm a box. And hit you with it .
Happy days
He also had a wooden paddle with "the board of correction " painted on it. He used to hit you with that too ...

I too attended school in the 70's and it was just like something out of Kes , most of the teachers were sadists who took great delight in beating the kids at the slightest provocation. One particular teacher who shall remain nameless, used to line you up as if he was taking a golf swing. He must have been crap at golf though he used to slice everytime.

 

[mank!]

Oh, and there was a girl in my year who took an overdose before a lesson and passed out during her maths lesson.

 

[mank!]

Originally posted by kameleon
I too attended school in the 70's and it was just like something out of Kes , most of the teachers were sadists who took great delight in beating the kids at the slightest provocation. One particular teacher who shall remain nameless, used to line you up as if he was taking a golf swing. He must have been crap at golf though he used to slice everytime.

Another Brick In The Wall

 

[kameleon]

That too Mank. They made us sing we DO need an education when The Wall came out

 

[.z.]

I agree with Mank! The little shits don't have any respect for their elders.

I remember our old bike sheds, they were made of asbestos and they fell down one day so noone was allowed to go near them.

 

[mank!]

fucking lol. I remember when I got into Floyd I wrote "we don't need no education / we don't need no self control" over a few of my books and got bollocked for it.

 

[Xtro 2.0]

...wtf are DT teachers....

 

[.z.]

They teach Design And Technology.

Y'know, making bookshelves, baking muffins, sewing bags and the like.

 

[kameleon]

Same as PE teachers i think

 

[Deadmanwalking]

In my form which i will add had all the "problem children", we went through 6 form teachers in all just for our 5 years there.

First 1 got "promoted" to our head of year - Got off lightly
The second one was a newly qualified teacher with all her "New" teacher methods, lasted 2 weeks before she just never turned up again. Last we heard she had gone on extended vacation to Zambia or somethig.

Number 3 was an ex US Marine, and apart from that was about 56. Now that was a man you did not fuck with. Was great fun when he went on about all the stuff he did etc etc.
Left for a new job back in the US.

4 - read number 2
Now 5 was an intesresting one, moved down here from her job up in manchester i think. And i will admit she was actually very fine, and only about 23. For once we all thought we had a teacher that would last the boys fancied her to much to get gobby, and the girls spent their time talking to her about the boys/girly stuff.

End of year 9, she left back to Manchester

Our last teacher was the mother of a kid in our year and a good friend of mine. She was a science and PSE teacher, so we had her as form and PSE teacher. She lasted till the end. Hoorah!!

Oh and as for stories..

Well i got suspended once for "Attempted murder" during a pen/elastic band fight. Some kid in the year below us locked about 20 members of staff in the staff room, then set off the fire alarm.

Some townie in my form started on almost every teacher and before being put on special courses got a kicking in from a science teacher. (Promoted a few months later)

 

[kameleon]

Why don't you browse friendsreunited Damini and get some of the school memories from there too?

 

[~Mobius~]

Originally posted by mank!
Does he teach Geography?

Yes, short guy with a moustache?