Relationship Customer Services

[Ezteq]

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
distinct slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the
Flower and Jewelery applications, which operated flawlessly under
Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such
as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable
programs such as: Football 5.0, Rugby 4.3 and Cricket 3.0. Conversation
8.0 no longer runs; it simply crashes the system. I've tried running
Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate




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Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Try entering the command: C:/I-THOUGHT-YOU-LOVED-ME to download Tears
6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0. If that application
works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the
applications Jewelery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the
above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence
2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.

WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snoring Loudly.

CAUTION: Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law. This is not a
supported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider
buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I
personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.




Good Luck,






Tech Support

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Dear Technical Support,






18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2,
which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are
apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution
was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.




To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other
applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9.
Successive versions of GirlFriend proved no better.

I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a

virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several

weeks. Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at
the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected
each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.

I eventually upgraded to Fiancie 1.0, only to discover that this product
soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use
up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and
Cleanhouse2005.

Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very
unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically
stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then
resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them. Wife 1.0 also
has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without
warning, launch TurboStrop and Multi-Whinge. These latter products have
no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is.

Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring

ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which

needs to be reinstalled every other week. Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches
itself to my Saab 93 Convertible hard drive, it often crashes.




Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which
can't be turned off.




Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2005, but there could be
problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0
detects Mistress 2005, it tends to delete all of your Money before
uninstalling itself.




Help requested please

Aaaaarrggh!! not the mother in law pop up!!!!


[this was emailed to me so i can not credit the origional source.]

 

[old.Tohtori]

Aaaaarrggh!! not the mother in law pop up!!!!

Heh, fun stuff though a bit old

[this was emailed to me so i can not credit the origional source.]

Good girl! *pats on head* Atleast someone here is listening to what i say about stealing other peoples ideas.

 

[Bahumat]

nice to read it from the womans point of view, i have only ever seen the men's one.

 

[Blackjack]

hehe it's either made by an englishman or an indian, noone else watch
cricket

 

[Outlander]

wooo great

I likes