Quite tire of the nice guy routine.

[old.Tohtori]

Yes, i need some "it's worth it"s now.

Night out.

Friends ask out.

Ok, let's roll.

Normal night, have fun, then comes around 1am.

I'm sober, mostly 'cause of the hangover buffer from last night. Dis cool, it's fun to be sober. Couple of friends leave, is cool, noone expects a full night of party. One friend stays. I hold friends(her) shirt and bag, as the women who held her bag wanted to leave.

Sit by table, by myself, for about an hour. Friend come back. Ok, nevermind, i iz not bothered by waiting, go have smoke and drink. Friend and friends manfriend get "touchyfeely", ok, third wheel now. No worries. Hang about.

Bar closes, and here's the kicker, my roomie who i was waiting for, because i have the only key to our place, sends message "i is not coming home, i has caturday p*ssy!".

Ok, go home alone, not know where to get off bus, not sure where is home, never gone home alone. Get home, post this.

Basically , i'm a bit tired of being the guy who everyone "depends on". Sure, i don't mind it, but at times, it gets really tiresome to be the nice guy around.

Hopefully this makes any sense.

EDIT: Yes, noticed just as i posted this, and of the "moral" dilemma, that i'm having a bit of a "problem" with not being bad. Kind of like, guilt about being good thing...weird...

 

[tris-]

stop being such a pussy then. if i waited more than 15 minutes for a 'friend' to come back i would handed their shit in at the bar and left.

i cant believe you left it till the 3rd wheel stage.

 

[old.Tohtori]

if i waited more than 15 minutes for a 'friend' to come back i would handed their shit in at the bar and left.

If i did this, i'd feel like a right a-hole.

By the way, what's " 'friend' " supposed to mean?

I don't have many good friends, i have aquitances, people i've met, but friends, i maybe have two and when i look after them(she was a bit wasted), i look after them 'till the end. I simply see it as normal behaviour.

What was i gonna do but to be there? Move to another section of the bar and NOT hang out with friend?

The point is, while it's not something that bothers me, it's somewhat of a "why" situation. Why am i being nice, why arn't i angry, etc.

 

[Binky the Bomb]

Being the equivelant of the 'spare tyre' is a pain in the ass at times.
If you don't want to remain the doormat, next time you all go out again, from the outset, do things differently.

Instead of waiting for people to make up their mind and tell you what they are gonna do, YOU set the agenda for what your gonna do first. Do you want to chat up the cute blonde with the 62 IQ points and the D cup bra? Go for it, and leave everyone else to sit and wait around for YOU.

Got somewhere with the blonde? If no, try her mate. If yes, go back, make your excuses to your friends, go back to hers (Never take her back to yours if possible). Do the dirty, leave as soon as your done, get home, shower, BRAG!

See how they like it

 

[old.Tohtori]

Aye, thought about such an endeavour many a times.

Problem is the fact that i just can't seem to do it. Always thinking, like said, too nice about things and when it doesn't bother me, i tend to just let things go.

I know zooming around the bar and picking up chicks while others wait(or would they?) is just normal behaviour, but i always think it would be rude.

Mostly i was a bit annoyed at the roomie who, at little apst 4am(last call is at 3:30am), sends a message, all casual, that he's not coming and don't have to wait(the one key thing). Rather, poor conduct i'd say.

 

[gohan]

get a key cut then all is good in the hood

 

[Binky the Bomb]

Aye, thought about such an endeavour many a times.

Problem is the fact that i just can't seem to do it. Always thinking, like said, too nice about things and when it doesn't bother me, i tend to just let things go.

I know zooming around the bar and picking up chicks while others wait(or would they?) is just normal behaviour, but i always think it would be rude.

Mostly i was a bit annoyed at the roomie who, at little apst 4am(last call is at 3:30am), sends a message, all casual, that he's not coming and don't have to wait(the one key thing). Rather, poor conduct i'd say.

Aye, tis a pain. Thing is, if you want people to to change their attitude toward you, you have to do something to knock that 'doormat' metality out of their heads. The occasional shock to their systems by doing something very different does work to remedy this.

Picking up a girl is a good way, because they you can send the text "With a hot blonde, leave door unlocked, back early AM." And let him stew for a bit. It'll take some balls and some brass, but if you do it with a little arrogance, it'll stick.

Course, you'll get complaints, but you can point out that you've been kind enough to put up with everyone else doing it without complaining. Its now their turn. It will cause some tension, but next time your all out, if you just sit back and wait for everyone else to make up their minds, at least your now giving them a chance to change too.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Yeah it's most likely, if one would twist it like that, selfish of me to not be "not nice", since i don't want the tensions and the problems that being selfish would cause.

Damn that just did my head in...

 

[Jupiter]

change yer friends

 

[Ezteq]

ha i was the third wheel for most of my previous life. It stinks, its total BS. any friend who lets their friend be a third wheel deserves to get run over by it.

 

[Poon]

Join the army and they will insert a spine into you and that will help.

Other options are to find new friends, i have a feeling you may well be the quiet one in the group, or if not you're the one who secretly lacks confidence and changing your personally overnight isnt going to happen as other wise your friends will walk over you for life.

Other option is to set yourself a goal before you go on nights out, things that annoy you and things that you wont let happen this time, or you could just get used to being a door matt and live like that as most people do.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Well, evidently the idea i tried to bring forth and such didn't work, as it seems some people have a completely wrong idea. So i'll try and explain.

There is no problem with my friends, nor do i ever want to change them.
They don't abuse me being nice. I do it at times because i don't mind it, it's not all the time.
I'm not a doormat, nor the quiet one, nor do i have a problem with having fun and doing my "thang" too.

The thing is, and what i was trying to bring up as a discussion, is the need to be bad in people, especially if you act nice most the time.

It's a bit different also about the "third wheel", it was late at night and only people who hadn't gone home was i and those two, it's quite basic "night progression".

There also seems to be a problem with conveying the word meant by friends. It's not just "he's a friend", but REAL friends, like said, not just aquintances. Was actually a bit shocked at the "change friends" comments and how easy soe people make it sound.

 

[Ezteq]

what can i say, we're shallow

keep your freinds...maybe take a gameboy along for when they decide to "get bizzy" though problem solved.

 

[Poon]

If thats what you meen then, yes once in a while its fun to be a shitbag, try it out ^^

 

[old.Tohtori]

what can i say, we're shallow

keep your freinds...maybe take a gameboy along for when they decide to "get bizzy" though problem solved.

Heh, not at all. Just the "friends" term is so loose, should've explained it better. I don't think anyone here would change REAL friends, those, lower level friends yes, quite easy to dump.

Yeah poon, as said, a bit of a misunderstanding in the meaning. Also might be that after a barnight, the "brain" isn't as working in explanations. Should try it, i kind of have the "a-hole" gene from my fathers side and could possible be real good at it. Atleast i look like a metal-scumbag-man. Just, it's quite hard when i so easily revert to my "meeeh ok, i don't mind" ways.

 

[Poon]

I have a natural tendency to be a prick that i have to curb in day to day life, I insted troll forums so you might want to try that out ^^

 

[angrymoon]

Feck 'em,

find a mate who you will get along with, go out have a laugh and get drunk...pick up night bus details and get a spare key.

Much better then a group of 4+ mates

 

[pikeh]

i know when someones my close mate becuase there are no uncomfortable silences.

 

[Vasconcelos]

Well, you gotta see it as a teaching lesson. Next time you will see it coming Toht, maybe you are not the kind of guy who would tell a friend to go swivel and that you are not playing any1s 3rd wheel, but granted you can just put your coat on, call a taxi and hit home with a smile on your face . Be sure the next time they wont be that fast when trying to run over you.

Dont get me wrong, the honest thing is being the good guy, just dont let any1, not even your friends to run over you, even if that means parking your nice attitude for a while.