Right tomorrow is THE day I do it for good, samm has bought me some industrial strength patches and I have realised today that my, well, lets just say mental problems started when I started smoking, let me explain.........when I started smoking at 15, I started getting what the doctor called "manic depression" this lasted pretty much right up untill I met samm, now I don't know whether its cause samm is good for my head and she treats me well or whether its because I feel happy when I'm with her, but anyway, I woke up this morning (after feeling slightly down, in a medical sense yesterday)feeling as normal(i'm a morning person)I was my usual happy self and I felt great, right up untill I sparked up, since then(smoked about 7 today)I have felt a bit shitty, like I used to feel . I used to smoke more when I felt bad because believe it or not me mum used to say "have a fag, it'll calm your nerves". So this is at least the mental spur-on I needed, there is no fucking way I can ever feel like that again and if smoking caused it/is causing it, it's got to go, no arguments.
So at approximately midnight tonight I will smoke my last cigarette, then in approximately one weeks time I will start jogging again. Wish me luck friends and I will see you all on the other side
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