personal ads from hell

Funkybunny

Banned
Joined
Jan 21, 2004
Messages
1,291
lets get creative! make the personal ad from hell. really crunch yer brain and make the worst personal ads ever! (pg13), best ones get rep points! :)
 

Job

The Carl Pilkington of Freddyshouse
FH Subscriber
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
21,652
Wots a 'personal ad?'
 

Funkybunny

Banned
Joined
Jan 21, 2004
Messages
1,291
Job said:
Wots a 'personal ad?'
"young man 47 is searching for playmates, me: a bit chubby, bald, hairy back, low income. you: blond, slim waist, good forms, love kinky sex" :)

thats a personal ad! :)
 

Jaem-

Can't get enough of FH
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Jan 20, 2004
Messages
2,498
Funkybunny said:
"young man 47 is searching for playmates, me: a bit chubby, bald, hairy back, low income. you: blond, slim waist, good forms, love kinky sex" :)

thats a personal ad! :)
Where did you find that one? got his number? :-O

I don't quite fit the requirements tho. :(
 

Darksword

Can't get enough of FH
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Feb 10, 2004
Messages
2,678
Jaem- said:
Where did you find that one? got his number? :-O

I don't quite fit the requirements tho. :(

well u just gotta die your hair, lose some weight and whatever good form is :)

you got the rest :p
 

Ame

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Jan 23, 2004
Messages
685
Ugly, fat, recently divorced, clinically depressed, incompetant, sadistic, suicidal, crazy, skizophrenic, 20 year old male transvestite insomniac looking for a partner.

Likes: Food such as pizza, hamburgers, kebabs, anything fried in pure grease; Being sad; Watching sad films; Torturing people; Killing people; Attempt suicides; Flashing lights; Wearing womans clothing; Walking on the beach at 4am; Poetry.

Dislikes: People whispering; Cats, dogs and other animals; Women; Men; Beds; Sleeping pills; Hard work.

Looking for a partner that has similar interests to me. Any will do. Age: 18-120. Call me at 999, and ask for inmate 517 at London Prison.
 

Overdriven

Not a sandwich
Joined
Jan 23, 2004
Messages
12,141
"Disappointed white male, crossdresser, looking for discreet friend to bring dreams to reality. Leather, lace, and water sports. Transvestites welcome."
 

Kicks

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Dec 29, 2003
Messages
1,031
Aging black, sorry white male looking for 15 y.o male or younger for fun and frolicks in theme park. Drinks provided free and all your desires met*. Must be able to mislead and waste the courts time. Discretion assured.

*Legal wavers included
 

Darksword

Can't get enough of FH
Joined
Feb 10, 2004
Messages
2,678
"elderly male looking for similar... that enjoys mc hammer tapes and crack"
 

haarewin

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Jan 19, 2004
Messages
2,756
Ame said:
Ugly, fat, recently divorced, clinically depressed, incompetant, sadistic, suicidal, crazy, skizophrenic, 20 year old male transvestite insomniac looking for a partner.

Likes: Food such as pizza, hamburgers, kebabs, anything fried in pure grease; Being sad; Watching sad films; Torturing people; Killing people; Attempt suicides; Flashing lights; Wearing womans clothing; Walking on the beach at 4am; Poetry.

Dislikes: People whispering; Cats, dogs and other animals; Women; Men; Beds; Sleeping pills; Hard work.

Looking for a partner that has similar interests to me. Any will do. Age: 18-120. Call me at 999, and ask for inmate 517 at London Prison.

ooh he likes walking on the beach at 4am. im ringing.
 

tris-

Failed Geordie and Parmothief
Joined
Jan 2, 2004
Messages
15,260
46 yeard old ex priest, white, skinny, brown hair, alcoholic, funny, drug problems, smart, good at cooking, masocist, gentle. looking for female.

Likes - food, listening to beethoven while cutting my self, wooden furniture with wood worm holes, dusty book covers, wet carpet, candles that are nearly burnt out.

Dislikes - investigations into apparently illegal acts, calmness, clean light switches, odd socks, chewed biro pens, used matches.

To contact me, please dont.
 

old.Tohtori

FH is my second home
Joined
Jan 23, 2004
Messages
45,210
Looking for a longterm, serious, one night stand.

Cash or a valid credit card accepted.
 

[HB]Jpeg

Loyal Freddie
Joined
Jan 22, 2005
Messages
420
Recently Diagnosed A.I.D.S carrier Seeking a female russian albino midget with a glass eye and wooden leg for a quickie before i die....

p.s im allergic to condoms.
 

Ezteq

Queen of OT
Joined
Jan 4, 2004
Messages
13,457
necrophiliac looking for man as last one was in too higher state of decay,
contact C.Z jones
the mumbles, wales
 

Darksword

Can't get enough of FH
Joined
Feb 10, 2004
Messages
2,678
Ezteq said:
necrophiliac looking for man as last one was in too higher state of decay,
contact C.Z jones
the mumbles, wales

u know you could make that 10 times worse by just changing it to

"last one wasnt in high enough state of decay"

and if you want to make it 100 times worse just add "must enjoy facials!"
 

sedde

Can't get enough of FH
Joined
Jun 11, 2004
Messages
1,058
[HB]Jpeg said:
Recently Diagnosed A.I.D.S carrier Seeking a female russian albino midget with a glass eye and wooden leg for a quickie before i die....

p.s im allergic to condoms.


lololol mfkr xD
 

haarewin

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Jan 19, 2004
Messages
2,756
Darksword said:
u know you could make that 10 times worse by just changing it to

"last one wasnt in high enough state of decay"

and if you want to make it 100 times worse just add "must enjoy facials!"
eewwww.
but lol xD
 

old.Tohtori

FH is my second home
Joined
Jan 23, 2004
Messages
45,210
Manly pair of hands looking for a feminine pair of boobs.

(I like to keep things simple :p )
 

Adoctor

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Jan 12, 2004
Messages
464
looking for a fat bird who likes lard and playing with meat and veg.

must supply own gravy.
 

Takhasis

Can't get enough of FH
Joined
Dec 23, 2003
Messages
1,078
Single hunter seems female shaman for some "personal buffing" in the woods.
 

Takhasis

Can't get enough of FH
Joined
Dec 23, 2003
Messages
1,078
/slap Seel, get back to Jeff and Tonder and stop trolling this section....i'm STILL waiting on the next installment....
 

Tsabo

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Jan 26, 2004
Messages
1,151
Have Viagra. Need woman. Any women between 18 & 80.
 

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