parents being dickheads

[Tilda]

Your parents don't love you anymore

not big, not clever

 

[Raven]

it really hurts to be emo these days, your parents really dont understand

 

[Everz]

bring out the butter knife

 

[DocWolfe]

Sounds like theres something else going on that you arent privy to Dudders mate, similar things have happened to me - get into a trivial clash with the parents that doesnt really seem that bad and have them react very strangely, only later do I find out that there was something else going on that had my parents very upset.

Obviously I dont know what happened as well as you, but it sounds vaguely reminiscent of what I've experienced.

Best bet is to talk to them when they get back - I find starting off apologetic without actually apologising is the best approach, dont accept that you are in the wrong if you dont think you are, but on the other hand try to show them that you want to sort this thing out.

Obviously from your description it doesnt look like you've done much wrong, I guess alot depends on how things work in your house - how strict parents are etc, but as you say, you're nearly 18, you can ware more or less what you want.

Hope you get it sorted, like I said though, it could well turn out that your parents are upset about something else and this has just triggered them off.

I agree with Dukat on this one... its happened to me before. It seems like they went a bit OTT.

 

[MaCaBr3]

Talking with your parents about something serious? In what kind of fairy tail world do you guys live?

Btw, sounds harsh but if your parents critize you all the time for no reason it is probably because in their eyes, you can do nothing good.

 

[Dudley52]

it really hurts to be emo these days, your parents really dont understand

i knew some **** would say something along those lines

 

[gohan]

you should of just gone nakid and said " not gonna be hot now am i?"

 

[Calaen]

Great uncles retirement party and they say wear a t-shirt? What the hell...in my day i would've been told to put on straight pants, some sort of undershirt and a nice shirt ontop of that and maybe even a suitjacket.

And if i didn't? Well, bollocks to that, it wasn't an option.

And we did it, 'cause our parents let us do stuff(like hang out late with friends), let us live there, give food and other cr*p for free.

Sometimes it's nice to just go "Ok mom/dad, this party means more to you so i'll just be nice today." instead of starting a freakin war about it.

And about being "almost 18", it's no matter. Until you move out, it's their rules all the way. Why? Because they pay for it all.

lmfao, mate you really, live in a bizarre world. Your parents have no right to tell you what you can and cant wear. Regardless of if they pay for stuff. He already said his Mother bought the jumper. The day parents tell a 17 year old child what to wear is a sad day for the planet because most parents have no fucking clue what their 17 year old is comfortable wearing. I would understand if he was wearing some jumper with suck my dick bitch on or something but its a relatively plain jumper.

I was at a wedding on Saturday and there was a teenager with a chemical romance style jacket on over a shirt and tie. Not my kind of style at all but he liked it and it went with his personality.

I would not feel guilty at all, the party was probably shit anyway and you hardly no the guy so you probably had a better night.

2 weeks after I was 16 my mother asked me to make her a cup of tea for her and her friends. I said no and she made a big scene in front of her friends putting me down telling me I was not grown up yet. So I went upstairs and packed my bags and left. Never stayed in my mothers house again since and I am 29 on Friday coming.

I have a much better relationship with my mother because I stood up to her pettiness, Do not think that because they are adults that they are not selfish.

 

[Bugz]

lmfao, mate you really, live in a bizarre world.

Nah - Seel just likes to have a different view on something than everyone else - even if it is totally wrong/wtf

 

[Dudley52]

lmfao, mate you really, live in a bizarre world. Your parents have no right to tell you what you can and cant wear. Regardless of if they pay for stuff. He already said his Mother bought the jumper. The day parents tell a 17 year old child what to wear is a sad day for the planet because most parents have no fucking clue what their 17 year old is comfortable wearing. I would understand if he was wearing some jumper with suck my dick bitch on or something but its a relatively plain jumper.

I was at a wedding on Saturday and there was a teenager with a chemical romance style jacket on over a shirt and tie. Not my kind of style at all but he liked it and it went with his personality.

I would not feel guilty at all, the party was probably shit anyway and you hardly no the guy so you probably had a better night.

2 weeks after I was 16 my mother asked me to make her a cup of tea for her and her friends. I said no and she made a big scene in front of her friends putting me down telling me I was not grown up yet. So I went upstairs and packed my bags and left. Never stayed in my mothers house again since and I am 29 on Friday coming.

I have a much better relationship with my mother because I stood up to her pettiness, Do not think that because they are adults that they are not selfish.

where did u go when u was 16 then?

Must have been daunting moving out at 16. I couldn't do that because I would have nowhere to go.

 

[Roo Stercogburn]

lmfao, mate you really, live in a bizarre world. Your parents have no right to tell you what you can and cant wear. Regardless of if they pay for stuff. He already said his Mother bought the jumper. The day parents tell a 17 year old child what to wear is a sad day for the planet because most parents have no fucking clue what their 17 year old is comfortable wearing. I would understand if he was wearing some jumper with suck my dick bitch on or something but its a relatively plain jumper.

I was at a wedding on Saturday and there was a teenager with a chemical romance style jacket on over a shirt and tie. Not my kind of style at all but he liked it and it went with his personality.

I would not feel guilty at all, the party was probably shit anyway and you hardly no the guy so you probably had a better night.

2 weeks after I was 16 my mother asked me to make her a cup of tea for her and her friends. I said no and she made a big scene in front of her friends putting me down telling me I was not grown up yet. So I went upstairs and packed my bags and left. Never stayed in my mothers house again since and I am 29 on Friday coming.

I have a much better relationship with my mother because I stood up to her pettiness, Do not think that because they are adults that they are not selfish.

I think its important to respect people's wishes and there are circumstances where one should comprimise. Its not going to stop the world turning. However the way in which it is handled determines the response. So...if there is a family gathering and parents are insisting on turning up and a dress code, there is nothing wrong with that. However, there is a way to handle such things, it doesn't need to be done by bullying the junior family members.

If there isn't a 'dress code' then its just an excercise in control for the parents and the irony is the more a parent tries to be rigid and inflexible the stronger the rebellion. Bear in mind that 'teeneage rebellion' does actually serve a genuine and important purpose. They are growing in to young adults and need to detach so they can function by themselves in adult life. The teenage years are when that detaching occurs and the so-called rebellion kicks in. This is a difficult period for all parents (as well as the children themselves of course) and some parents aren't able to handle it well - some go for rigid control so they can feel comfortable. The parents' parents and their own upbringing have a large influence in this too.

I could probably wall-of-text on this subject but no need really. The short version is:

If its a family gathering and they want a dress code, its no big deal. Go with it, do it with good grace. Its not a threat to you as a person. If the whole dress-code thing is merely an arena for people to argue and excercise their control then you have deeper issues to look at as a family.

 

[Sparx]

where did u go when u was 16 then?

Must have been daunting moving out at 16. I couldn't do that because I would have nowhere to go.

Wasnt hard for me, i moved out when 16, 25 next month

Was the best thing i could have ever done, my relationship with my family is better for it

 

[Calaen]

where did u go when u was 16 then?

Must have been daunting moving out at 16. I couldn't do that because I would have nowhere to go.

Was kinda daunting, but as Sparx has said It improved my relationship with my mother a thousand fold which is a good thing.

Tbh if at a family gathering you have to to try and paint some picture to other family members of a unit that does not actually exist in the day to day living then something is wrong. It sounds stupid and quite selfish but I always wear what I want, its down to responsibility, now I do not know you but I doubt you were going to go dressed like a cock just to get a reaction from people.

I would just sit down and have a chat with your folks, done be a prick about it just bring it up that you are disappointed with their response towards you over the incident. Tell them you are not a child and that the clothes you wanted to wear would not have reflected badly on you in any way. Ask them what they want from you, sometimes you just cant please people even your parents. I would not worry about it though just have confidence in your own ability to succeed and everything else will sort its self out over time.

 

[- English -]

i knew some **** would say something along those lines

raven always calls people emo, hes just upset that he has no hair himself

 

[Mojo]

Parents can be very petty, anyone who cannot justify what they say shouldn't say it, being a parent is not a right to dictate. etc etc

Petty adults end up loosing all respect and loose the ability to enforce on things that matter.

If they didn't want you to wear the jumper they should have been able to justify it to a point that you might have agreed or at least caved for their benefit, if there was stuff going on "in the background" which they failed to mention then that's tuff for them and they should not have used that in causing problems in the home.

On the other hand if you were being a complete dick about it then tuff shit.

 

[old.Tohtori]

lmfao, mate you really, live in a bizarre world. Your parents have no right to tell you what you can and cant wear.

Yeah, you moved away at 16, you after that had every right to do what ever the f*ck you like. I could ask you the same, what f*cking bizarre world you live in where you don't respect anyone else but yourself and only live and do what's good for YOU?

It's not bizarre to do things for your parents, when you know that they would prefer something, and not be an a-hole teenager ALL THE TIME.

They didn't tell me what to wear, on average days, but at parties such as funerals, weddings, christenings and whatnot, they said "THere's a dresscode, should wear nice." and there was no backtalk because it didn't matter to me that my "emo ego was hurt for wearing a suit" or "I can't support my band today". I wore the "good clothes" for the sake of them being happier, and that's about it.

Like i said, some respected their parents(i couldn't give a flying toss about my father today) and sometimes people ACTUALLY do things to other people just because they would like it.

You say parents don't have a right to tell what their kids should wear(at times), i say they do. They earned it. They brought you up, probably paid for those clothes, paid for the roof over your head, paid for the daily food and chilcren(like Bugz) don't give a flying f*ck about it these days.

Nah - Seel just likes to have a different view on something than everyone else - even if it is totally wrong/wtf

Your parents don't love you anymore

The youngster shouldn't talk that much when acting like a moron.

My views arn't based on "wanting to be different" and many here agree on things i say. Just 'cause it's different from you, doesn't make it wrong.

 

[Bugz]

The youngster shouldn't talk that much when acting like a moron.

My views arn't based on "wanting to be different" and many here agree on things i say. Just 'cause it's different from you, doesn't make it wrong.

Nah. You do talk unhealthy amounts of shit.

I believed I mentioned it quite a while back and had rep with people saiyng 'aye - i agree' so it's not just my own belief

 

[old.Tohtori]

Nah. You do talk unhealthy amounts of shit.

I believed I mentioned it quite a while back and had rep with people saiyng 'aye - i agree' so it's not just my own belief

Yeah, and you're the poster boy of good behaviour. Like you so conviniently ignored from the previous post.

I may sometimes say things that the masses don't agree on, but that's only 'cause i talk a lot more then you and MOST of what i say is taken with appreciation/laughs/agreement. Just 'cause at one time people agreed with you, don't make you right all the time.

I let the whole "You're just saying things different 'cause you want to be different" thing go, waaay back when, but evidently you have a reasonable amount of p*ssy in you to go digging for dirt from years past.

 

[Mey]

Tbh everything Seel has said is pretty much on the mark, if i asked my kid to do something and (s)he gave me ton's of shit i'd help him/her pack.

 

[Bugz]

Yeah, and you're the poster boy of good behaviour. Like you so conviniently ignored from the previous post.

I may sometimes say things that the masses don't agree on, but that's only 'cause i talk a lot more then you and MOST of what i say is taken with appreciation/laughs/agreement. Just 'cause at one time people agreed with you, don't make you right all the time.

I let the whole "You're just saying things different 'cause you want to be different" thing go, waaay back when, but evidently you have a reasonable amount of p*ssy in you to go digging for dirt from years past.

Actually I got rep from my post in this thread above so that just reminded me

But indeed, so do I take most of your posts in laughs - mostly because I know they are so full of bullshit. It's what I've come to expect from you - a comical reply but little assosciation with being correct :d

& no - i'm not particular a happy & good poster and I know that. As i've said before - we all have our forum personas ^^

 

[Mojo]

Nah. You do talk unhealthy amounts of shit.

I would say he talks alot of sense tbh, not once have I seen anythging I would describe as shit.

I believed I mentioned it quite a while back and had rep with people saiyng 'aye - i agree' so it's not just my own belief

That's playground talk ^^

 

[old.Tohtori]

But indeed, so do I take most of your posts in laughs - mostly because I know they are so full of bullshit. It's what I've come to expect from you - a comical reply but little assosciation with being correct :d

There's some assuming again that you accuse me off so much.... Because you think it's bull, doesn't make it. It's a different view then yours(not a different view from ALL). Well, let's try just like you, "You're a kid, you don't know sh*t...16...come talk to me when you've grown testicles!" I let that kid thing go, remember? I used to go on about it all the time. Why did i stop? 'cause i happened to think it was rude and unnecessary. And i thought you don't care for it that much. You should learn how to think about things from other views too.


By the way, stop talking about your rep, starting to get annoying and it's a slight coc violation too...

 

[MaCaBr3]

Tohtori, what are you doing debating with kids? Pedo.

 

[Bugz]

There's some assuming again that you accuse me off so much.... Because you think it's bull, doesn't make it. It's a different view then yours(not a different view from ALL). Well, let's try just like you, "You're a kid, you don't know sh*t...16...come talk to me when you've grown testicles!" I let that kid thing go, remember? I used to go on about it all the time. Why did i stop? 'cause i happened to think it was rude and unnecessary. And i thought you don't care for it that much. You should learn how to think about things from other views too.


By the way, stop talking about your rep, starting to get annoying and it's a slight coc violation too...

I cba to sit here argueing about it.

I'm just going to agree to disagree.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Tohtori, what are you doing debating with kids? Pedo.

Training to be a parent?

*drops off chair*

Yeah right...

I cba to sit here argueing about it.

I'm just going to agree to disagree.

You do know that just makes me look unnecessary right in my last post? NEVER should end like that. It's -not- a grown up thing to do(like some grown ups think it is), it's not "noble" or anything like that. It's just a "F*ck you" in better terms.

 

[Sparx]

tbh i agree with toh on this one

 

[Mey]

haha - what a cop out!

 

[gohan]

Actually I got rep from my post in this thread above so that just reminded me

i got a rep for saying picalili is a place in london

u can get a rep for just about anything really, using rep to win an argument is the most ridiculas thing i heard "Tohto u definatly talk shit 100% of the time an that fact cos some1 onced reped me for saying it"

do u not see how moronic that sounds?

 

[Mojo]

I'm just going to agree to disagree.

The best way to do that is by not getting into "Your wrong" & "I'm right" slanging matches in the first place.

Really who cares if people disagree with you on the internet?, it only becomes an issue when people make it personnel.

 

[Lamp]

Only read your post. Sounds like you're at that stage where you're old enough to make your own decisions and they're finding it hard to treat you like an adult. Given that you are living in their house, it would be simpler to just agree with your parents and rise above your own angst. Just to keep the peace.

Are they the sort of parents you can talk calmly to ?

Sounds like you need to have a chat. Them telling you what you can / can't where is not the underlying issue. The real issue is them recognising that you are practically 18, an adult, and to start treating you like one. In return however, you need to start acting like an adult if you want to be treated like one. Rather than just saying "no" - which is what a child would do - ask them why ? Try to understand where they're coming from. In return they need to understand where you're coming from.

You need to TALK to your folks.

One day you'll have kids. And you'll be telling them "you can't go out like that" or "what are you wearing that old thing for".

Its part of growing up. Being 18 doesn't confer maturity, empathy, and emotional reasoning. These are just layers that you build around the onion of experience. And you never stop learning.