parents being dickheads

[Dudley52]

So was meant to be going to a family party tonight. Great Uncles retirement party (don't really know the guy but had to go because all of my other family are going).

Was sitting outside in the garden when my parents said "get ready we're leaving in 15 minutes".

So I had a shower and got ready.

Put on a thin jumper and jeans. Thought of wearing the jumper as it isn't that warm, and it doesn't really matter anyway.

Parents come into my room
"get that jumper off put a T-shirt on "
I said "no, why?"
"Its too hot you will look like an idiot" they said
"Its not that hot, a jumper will be fine, Mum"

Then they started shouting and ordered me to put a T-shirt on. I refused again and mum starts crying? Then they said I will look like a fucking pikey, So I was like wtf?!?!
Then they left without me, and I was really pissed off and confused about what just happened, so I went for a walk to calm myself down and just got back.

Am I in the wrong here? Why did they make such a big deal out of that

When they get back they're gonna be dickheads, will probably get grounded.

I'm 18 in two weeks and I think I can choose to wear what I want. Dunno what I'm gonna say to them when they get back, whether to ignore them, because they are going to be annoyed with me.

Whats the best thing to do?

 

[Blackjack]

Your parents was so adament about you looking atleast decent in the eyes of an adult. Adult as in over 35
Because you probably rarely see all your family, your parents didn't want you to look like a pikey.Since the family you don't spend time with will judge you, and your parents by how you look. Doesn't matter if you are a good kid and have an IQ of 215. If you show up looking like a hobo, that is exactly how you will be perceived.

 

[Dudley52]

hmm ok, but whats wrong with a jumper?

 

[Huntingtons]

show us this mighty jumper (dunno what a jumper is unless i see a pix!)

instead of crying/leaving without you they should of explained why they didnt want you to look like a pikey (like bj explained, which prob was the reason). ordering a 17 year old teenager around dont get you real far - they want to be accepted as grownups, even tho they rarely are (read: never)

 

[Thadius]

I usually ignore my parents when it comes to that and over time they just accpet that i dress how I like and they cant do anything to stop it.

Same thing with things like religion, they didnt pressure me to go to Chruch or anything. They always said if you want to do it, go for it.

I love my parents

 

[Dudley52]

show us this mighty jumper (dunno what a jumper is unless i see a pix!)

instead of crying/leaving without you they should of explained why they didnt want you to look like a pikey (like bj explained, which prob was the reason). ordering a 17 year old teenager around dont get you real far - they want to be accepted as grownups, even tho they rarely are (read: never)

Ok, but ive worn the jumper before (my mum actually bought me the jumper for christmas, so..) I don't think it was the fact of the way it looks, I think it was because its a jumper and they said its the middle of summer, its not even that hot atm though.

I usually ignore my parents when it comes to that and over time they just accpet that i dress how I like and they cant do anything to stop it.

Same thing with things like religion, they didnt pressure me to go to Chruch or anything. They always said if you want to do it, go for it.

I love my parents

Would they do what they did to me though?

 

[Dukat]

Sounds like theres something else going on that you arent privy to Dudders mate, similar things have happened to me - get into a trivial clash with the parents that doesnt really seem that bad and have them react very strangely, only later do I find out that there was something else going on that had my parents very upset.

Obviously I dont know what happened as well as you, but it sounds vaguely reminiscent of what I've experienced.

Best bet is to talk to them when they get back - I find starting off apologetic without actually apologising is the best approach, dont accept that you are in the wrong if you dont think you are, but on the other hand try to show them that you want to sort this thing out.

Obviously from your description it doesnt look like you've done much wrong, I guess alot depends on how things work in your house - how strict parents are etc, but as you say, you're nearly 18, you can ware more or less what you want.

Hope you get it sorted, like I said though, it could well turn out that your parents are upset about something else and this has just triggered them off.

 

[Thadius]

Ok, but ive worn the jumper before (my mum actually bought me the jumper for christmas, so..) I don't think it was the fact of the way it looks, I think it was because its a jumper and they said its the middle of summer, its not even that hot atm though.


Would they do what they did to me though?

No, because i would tell my mum to bugger off. And she wouldnt get in a hissy fit either.

Maybe its your mums PMT/ menopause or something

 

[Huntingtons]

googled jumper and found this, now im more understanding towards your parents - its soo tiny as well!

 

[Dudley52]

Sounds like theres something else going on that you arent privy to Dudders mate, similar things have happened to me - get into a trivial clash with the parents that doesnt really seem that bad and have them react very strangely, only later do I find out that there was something else going on that had my parents very upset.

Obviously I dont know what happened as well as you, but it sounds vaguely reminiscent of what I've experienced.

Best bet is to talk to them when they get back - I find starting off apologetic without actually apologising is the best approach, dont accept that you are in the wrong if you dont think you are, but on the other hand try to show them that you want to sort this thing out.

Obviously from your description it doesnt look like you've done much wrong, I guess alot depends on how things work in your house - how strict parents are etc, but as you say, you're nearly 18, you can ware more or less what you want.

Hope you get it sorted, like I said though, it could well turn out that your parents are upset about something else and this has just triggered them off.

Ok then, I'll try and chat to them when they're back. Will be hard to talk to Mum so will try talking to dad first

 

[Dudley52]

heres the jumper!

 

[Thadius]

Ok then, I'll try and chat to them when they're back. Will be hard to talk to Mum so will try talking to dad first

No offense to your parents mate but maybe they had a fight about something.

My parents used to argue all the time, then used to pretend to like each other for family does, even going the fact if I did something wrong, I would get a major bollocking.

 

[Tilda]

Honestly if it was a semi-smart family do, i think you should have worn something smarter than that.
Its ok but not something I'd wear for a family thing.

 

[Thadius]

Honestly if it was a semi-smart family do, i think you should have worn something smarter than that.
Its ok but not something I'd wear for a family thing.

My uncles wedding I wore baggy jeans and a "Nobody knows that Im a lesbian tshirt"

 

[Dudley52]

Honestly if it was a semi-smart family do, i think you should have worn something smarter than that.
Its ok but not something I'd wear for a family thing.

I don't really have smart clothes though. They would have prefered me to wear an old t shirt with a band printed on the front.

 

[Thadius]

I don't really have smart clothes though. They would have prefered me to wear an old t shirt with a band printed on the front.

Despite the fact I hate indie clothing, that type of clothes can look smart as its fashion.

 

[Tilda]

Why don't you buy some?
Even just a plain polo shirt would be better I think.

 

[Dudley52]

Why don't you buy some?
Even just a plain polo shirt would be better I think.

Well I did actually have a smart polo shirt, but its in the wash lol.

Wore it for college.

 

[Dudley52]

Despite the fact I hate indie clothing, that type of clothes can look smart as its fashion.

I don't really understand that though, how is it indie?

 

[Tilda]

I mean, I can sympathise with your position and it sucks to get slated for it by your parents, but at the same time, I wonder if you couldn't have just accepted their request, or worn a shirt?

 

[Nate]

The jumper does look quite hoboish, as we have no idea what kind of guy your Uncle is, theres no safe bet as to what he would expect people to turn up in.

It does seem your parents are taking things quite far, but maybe theres an underlying issue thats bothering them. You should try to talk to them instead of just being angry.

I don't really understand that though, how is it indie?

Well indies shit with a bit of fling(probably why I like it so much!), thus the brown/black stripey jumper with some stitches on it = indie!

 

[old.Tohtori]

Great uncles retirement party and they say wear a t-shirt? What the hell...in my day i would've been told to put on straight pants, some sort of undershirt and a nice shirt ontop of that and maybe even a suitjacket.

And if i didn't? Well, bollocks to that, it wasn't an option.

And we did it, 'cause our parents let us do stuff(like hang out late with friends), let us live there, give food and other cr*p for free.

Sometimes it's nice to just go "Ok mom/dad, this party means more to you so i'll just be nice today." instead of starting a freakin war about it.

And about being "almost 18", it's no matter. Until you move out, it's their rules all the way. Why? Because they pay for it all.

 

[Dudley52]

The jumper does look quite hoboish, as we have no idea what kind of guy your Uncle is, theres no safe bet as to what he would expect people to turn up in.

He would have been pissed before we even got there, went to another one of his parties a few years ago.

 

[Dudley52]

Great uncles retirement party and they say wear a t-shirt? What the hell...in my day i would've been told to put on straight pants, some sort of undershirt and a nice shirt ontop of that and maybe even a suitjacket.

And if i didn't? Well, bollocks to that, it wasn't an option.

And we did it, 'cause our parents let us do stuff(like hang out late with friends), let us live there, give food and other cr*p for free.

Sometimes it's nice to just go "Ok mom/dad, this party means more to you so i'll just be nice today." instead of starting a freakin war about it.

And about being "almost 18", it's no matter. Until you move out, it's their rules all the way. Why? Because they pay for it all.

cheers for making me feel really guilty

 

[old.Tohtori]

cheers for making me feel really guilty

Shouldn't ask if you're not prepared to face other point of views here.

Anyway, if you're feeling guilty, you'll know that my words ain't that far fetched. "Kids" tend to go blind to their parents simple needs. Some parents are a-holes and want want want, all the time. But i'm guessing your parents are usually cool going, don't mind your life that much(interfere with your life) and their not demanding too much stuff from you too often?

 

[Mey]

I must admit the jumper does look abit hobo-esq.

I'm with Tohtori. I can remeber when my mum went to see her real-dad for the first time in ages (he ran away when she was a kid) and we all had to dress up in our best's (not suits but the smartest clothes we had) and act on our best behaviour so that my mum could show that she was better than him or something lol!

 

[Dudley52]

Shouldn't ask if you're not prepared to face other point of views here.

Anyway, if you're feeling guilty, you'll know that my words ain't that far fetched. "Kids" tend to go blind to their parents simple needs. Some parents are a-holes and want want want, all the time. But i'm guessing your parents are usually cool going, don't mind your life that much(interfere with your life) and their not demanding too much stuff from you too often?

I suppose so, no they don't interfere too much. Just try and persuade me with different things (like all parents).
I used to get forced to play football, dad was the football manager, I was shit, the worst player on the team, I hated it. At the end of each season I always said to my dad I don't want to play anymore, please, I don't like it. But he made me play again and again. Once I refused to go to football training (this was 2 times a week) and my parents went ballistic. Also the team was quite a good standard, which made it worse, I used to have all the other kids parents shouting at me. This one bloke used to go mental. "Matt, you lost the ball again, your not good enough, its a team game" its kind of funny thinking about it now, I should have stuck up for myself more.

 

[Mey]

It's because your an Essex boy

 

[Gamah]

Some one drunk got on the stitching machine to make that jumper ?

 

[Bugz]

Your parents don't love you anymore