One for the car buffs

[Kryten]

This will be a challenge.

Car - 1999 Honda Accord.
Cranks but doesn't fire up the engine.
Changed distributor cap and rotor arm after noticing that it was arcing out on nearby metal in the engine bay. Still nothing.
Spark plugs are only about 18 months old - checked anyway and they're all fine. Gave them a bit of a cleanup to be sure.
HT leads are sound.
Can hear the fuel pump priming on startup - changed the fuse and relay for that anyway. Still nowt.
Used some starting spray, didn't even bother.

It's an old beasty but in 13 years it's not missed a beat. Any clues from anyone that knows more than me?

 

[DaGaffer]

It's seized

 

[Kryten]

It cranks - pistons etc move when peering inside the oil cap.

 

[Edmond]

Just spoke to Russ's hubby, he says

1 - could be a Crank Shaft Sensor
2 - A jumped belt
3 - or, if it has one, a Camshaft positioning sensor

 

[Olgaline]

Get a BMW

/fixed!

 

[Kryten]

I want something reliable. Why in the name of jimmy saville's lawyer would I want a fucking BMW?

 

[Access Denied]

Does it fire up when you jump/bump start it?

 

[Punishment]

Hook it up to some diagnostic equipment and see what fault codes it throws out

 

[Deebs]

I want something reliable. Why in the name of jimmy saville's lawyer would I want a fucking BMW?

Audi. Nuff sed.

Driven by cunts (/me waves). Reliable, lovely and a fucking awesome interior to boot. Oh and it is not made by the French or Ford

 

[Kryten]

This is why I like my Honda. I mean, it's done 120,000 miles, original clutch, until now original electrics (apart from plugs and HT leads a couple of year ago).

Doesn't fire up when jumped either.

 

[TdC]

AUDI has an awesome interior? what? have you been smoking crack cut with old car tyres again?

 

[Deebs]

This is why I like my Honda. I mean, it's done 120,000 miles, original clutch, until now original electrics (apart from plugs and HT leads a couple of year ago).

Doesn't fire up when jumped either.

Last time I jumped something it didn't fire up till I inserted the key....

 

[Deebs]

AUDI has an awesome interior? what? have you been smoking crack cut with old car tyres again?

Um yes they do.

 

[TdC]

ugh, you need to spend more time on the continent. you know, where we appreciate culture and beautiful things like proper cars.

 

[Deebs]

ugh, you need to spend more time on the continent. you know, where we appreciate culture and beautiful things like proper cars.

haha, sorry, being near France puts me off Europe.

 

[Kryten]

And of course in all honesty if I wanted anything Audi/VWish, I'd be buying an Octavia.

 

[Deebs]

And of course in all honesty if I wanted anything Audi/VWish, I'd be buying an Octavia.

Cheap person you

 

[Kryten]

It's a hard life when you earn a pittance

 

[Olgaline]

I want something reliable. Why in the name of jimmy saville's lawyer would I want a fucking BMW?

because you wont have to worry about this:

Car - 1999 Honda Accord.
Cranks but doesn't fire up the engine.
Changed distributor cap and rotor arm after noticing that it was arcing out on nearby metal in the engine bay. Still nothing.
Spark plugs are only about 18 months old - checked anyway and they're all fine. Gave them a bit of a cleanup to be sure.
HT leads are sound.
Can hear the fuel pump priming on startup - changed the fuse and relay for that anyway. Still nowt.
Used some starting spray, didn't even bother.

I very much dislike the Audi's front end and driver side interior.
also bmw and mercedes are better and more powerful and handle better than more or less any equvilant audi.
So why buy an Audi ? because of it's front end! - Get an american muscle car instead ffs!

 

[Kryten]

Olgaline: not many 13 year old beemers survive.... let's face it, new ones are driven by cunts and second hand ones are driven by chav cunts. They don't have a chance make your time.

Plus I can boast about having a reliable British car. A little patriotic despite the jap badge

 

[Olgaline]

I quite disagree with you there.
Beemers are very much one of the cars together with mercedes, Volvo and Honda that infact do stand the test of time.

 

[Kryten]

You're including Mercedes in that list there? Honestly? I rated my ye-olde Rover over anything with a Mercedes badge on it that rolled out the factory in the last 10 year.

 

[Deebs]

German cars > *. Fuck you very much.

 

[Olgaline]

You're including Mercedes in that list there? Honestly? I rated my ye-olde Rover over anything with a Mercedes badge on it that rolled out the factory in the last 10 year.

if by rover you mean range or land then ok, but thats another class all of it's own. if you mean Rover as in rover as in: ?

Spoiler

then LOL!

 

[Scouse]

My Honda Civic Type-R has given me zero shit since I owned it and I've driven it for 130,000 miles like an absolute fucking maniac, hardly ever servicing it.

The most expensive things have been tyres and new discs/pads. That's it.


And I really do drive it like a fucking maniac.

Honda > All - for reliability.

 

[Wazzerphuk]

Japanese > German tbh.

 

[Kryten]

Oddly enough, very nearly the same model
Mercedes cars have been utter cock for ages. Yes, even cocker than Rover. And that's a serious amount of cock.

 

[Olgaline]

Sounds more like the germans are still holding some form of grudge,
Because obviously, they're arent sending you the same cars as we have

 

[Kryten]

My car experience has been Rover (alrightish) Renault (GTFO) and Honda. The latter is the beasty I wish to keep running.

 

[Access Denied]

Maybe your starter motor is on the way out? Not massively expensive to replace if it is. Best bet is to get it checked out.