Basic_X
Fledgling Freddie
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2004
- Messages
- 2,240
Subject: Hell
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term.
The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with
colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course why we now have the pleasure
of enjoying it as well.
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools
when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
'First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.
So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many
souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the
world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions
and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that
all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the
number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same,
the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.This gives
two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that,
it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the
fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am
sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that
it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only
Heaven ..............thereby proving the existence of a divine being which
explains why, last night, Teresa kept screaming Oh my God!
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY A
made me laugh
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term.
The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with
colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course why we now have the pleasure
of enjoying it as well.
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools
when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
'First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.
So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many
souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the
world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions
and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that
all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the
number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same,
the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.This gives
two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that,
it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the
fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am
sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that
it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only
Heaven ..............thereby proving the existence of a divine being which
explains why, last night, Teresa kept screaming Oh my God!
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY A
made me laugh
