Oh Lord, Won't You Buy Me A...

[Damini]

I'm trying to knock up an internet based version of this song. I'm struggling I've managed to knock up one verse, but I thought I'd also throw it open to your creativity.

I realise this is sheer folly, but I promised a friend I'd help him write a song for the end of his show, and I'm flagging.


Oh Lord, Won't you buy me a penis enlarger?
Make my penis bigger, stringer, harder!
Jenny's waiting on her webcam in a lesbian lather
So Lord, won't you buy me a penis enlarger!

 

[old.Tohtori]

Let me rephrase that....




I mean....

:help:

 

[Addlcove]

Oh Lord, won´t you buy me, some triple-x passwords
I need to get access, to starknaked birds
I don´t own a CC don´t know any nerds
so Lord won´t you buy, some triple-x passwords

Oh Lord, won´t you buy me, a spam free address
my email is choking on spammage excess
don´t use any spam filters, so how to supress
so Lord, won´t you buy me, a spam free address

oh Lord, won´t you buy me, a broadband connect
I need faster downloads for my porn collect
the collection is faulty, not yet perfect
so Lord, won´t you buy me, a broadband connect

-
all I can think of atm

 

[Damini]

addl!

Bring forth more!

Possible themes:

Gator (boo! hiss!)

Hello, my name is Ogbu Gtubolg from Nigeria, and I have TEN BILLION DOLLARS I want you to have. No really. I do.

If this symbol is flashing YOU HAVE WON!

Danger - you are currently broadcasting an IP address.

 

[Addlcove]

oh Lord, won´t you buy me, a nice forum mod
she has to be nice, I don´t want a fraud
Damini would do nicely I´ll take her abroad
so Lord, won´t you buy me, a nice forum mod




Damini most of those things you mentioned are covered in the "spam" section, besides if it´s a standup show 4 verses (sp?)should be enough

 

[Damini]

Oh Lord, Won't you buy me an account over seas
Ogbu from Nigeria has ten billion dollars for me
All I need to settle is ten thousand pounds in fees
Oh Lord, Won't you buy me an account over seas?

 

[Addlcove]

Originally posted by Damini
Oh Lord, Won't you buy me an account over seas
Ogbu from Nigeria has ten billion dollars for me
All I need to settle is ten thousand pounds in fees
Oh Lord, Won't you buy me an account over seas?

Oh Lord, Won't you buy me an account over seas
Ogbu from Nigeria has billions for me
All I need to settle is ten K pounds in fees
Oh Lord, Won't you buy me an account over seas?



and now it fits the beat also

 

[old.TeaSpoon]

Originally posted by Addlcove
Oh Lord, Won't you buy me an account over seas
Ogbu from Nigeria has billions for me
All I need to settle is ten K pounds in fees
Oh Lord, Won't you buy me an account over seas?
and now it fits the beat also

Oh Lord, Won't you buy me an account over seas
Ogbu from Nigeria has billions for me
All I need to settle is ten grand in fees
Oh Lord, Won't you buy me an account over seas?

Now it fits even better

 

[Addlcove]

Originally posted by old.TeaSpoon
Oh Lord, Won't you buy me an account over seas
Ogbu from Nigeria has billions for me
All I need to settle is ten grand in fees
Oh Lord, Won't you buy me an account over seas?

Now it fits even better

bah

gifv your own vers

 

[Hargh]

Oh Lord, I sure hope that this thread is not done,
It started quite poorly, now I've been struck dumb,
I know that this post has not helped the run,
but it's been forty times better than picking my bum.

 

[ellya]

Oh lord, wont you buy me an invisible ip
My address is broadcasting and everyone can see
I have to download and that wont be for free
So, lord, wont you get me an invisible ip?

Oh lord, wont you get me a Gatoricide
Its got in my pc and nestles inside
It watches me always, theres nowhere to hide
So, lord, wont you get me a Gatoricide?

 

[Addlcove]

if someone would make one including orgasm.exe I´m sure damini will be pleased

 

[Flimgoblin]

Oh lord won't you buy me an anti-virus tool
downloading orgasm.exe turned my hard drive to goo
with klez and my red worm, don't know what to do
Oh lord won't you buy me an anti-virus tool.

 

[old.Trine Aquavit]

Oh Lord, won't you buy me some top grade Viagra
My sex life's non existent and the wife's giving me aggro
I've tried everything else but things aren't gettin any harder
So Lord, won't you buy me some top grade Viagra

 

[Hargh]

Rhyming viagra and harder ranks up there with Chris de Burgh "darnce" and "romarnce" (his pronunciation)

Hang on - you're a scouser?

:cheeky:

 

[old.Trine Aquavit]

To be fair there aren't too many rhymes for viagra - I could have picked an easier starting point.

 

[armado]

Oh lord....

 

[Testin da Cable]

Originally posted by Damini
Oh Lord, Won't you buy me an account over seas
Ogbu from Nigeria has ten billion dollars for me
All I need to settle is ten thousand pounds in fees
Oh Lord, Won't you buy me an account over seas?

Oh Lord, won't you buy me an MMORPG
I have no life, and there's nothing on TV
Just hunker down by my poota with pizza and tea
Oh Lord, won't you buy me an MMORPG?

 

[Sharma]

Oh Lord wont you buy me, some toliet roll?
My walls are all covered, i must find some more
Worked hard on the procelian, spotless clean everyday
so oh lord wont you buy me, some toliet roll?

dunno, im not creative so toliet humor seems fitting

 

[Uncle Sick(tm)]

Originally posted by Addlcove
if someone would make one including orgasm.exe I´m sure damini will be pleased

I wonder if this was an unintentional pun... *cackles*

 

[Teh Krypt]

Oh lord..

no im not creative .. nm

 

[Hargh]

Originally posted by sharma
Oh Lord wont you buy me, some toliet roll?
My walls are all covered, i must find some more
Worked hard on the procelian, spotless clean everyday
so oh lord wont you buy me, some toliet roll?

dunno, im not creative so toliet humor seems fitting

Right, the last words of each line are supposed to rhyme!

Here's one with Viagra:

Oh Lord, won't you buy me some top notch Viagra,
My mate says "es brilliant!", he's from Nicaragua,
He's big in drugs and he drives a Jaguar,
Oh Lord, won't you buy me some top notch Viagra

 

[The Real Redi]

Oh Lord won't you buy me a monkey with guns
My old ones got gout and sores on his buns
He never stops whining, and shooting down nuns
So lord won't you buy me a monkey with guns...

oh, hang on...

Oh lord won't you buy me a barely legal teen
My girlfriend has left me, shes old and mean
well, she's 22 but thats not young enough for me
Oh lord won't you buy me a barely legal teen

err... that's going to get me arrested, right?


:help:

 

[Jiggs]

someone at work fancies you!

 

[Novamir]

 

[gengi]

oh lord won't you buy me a top notch pc
this old 486, it does nothing for me
the graphics are crap, may as well watch tv
oh lord won't you buy me a top notch pc

Oh lord won't you send me that spammers addy,
I need some revenge 'fore I can be free,
I'll flood out his mailbox with the porn he sent me,
Oh lord won't you send me that spammers addy

later

 

[inuyasha]

suprizingly enouf, some of this was good

 

[old.Tyraette]

Oh lord, wont you buy me, a decent limerick
I need one, to beat Jupi, that annoying lil prick
Rhymed hard for 18pages, now i need a new trick
Oh lord, wont you buy me, a decent limerick

 

[Jupitus]

<kicks and screams his way back to BW dragged by the hair>

Oh lord, won't you buy poor Shaeffer a brain,
His old one is useless and can't take the strain,
I'm told it fell out and went down the drain,
Oh lord, won't you please please please buy poor Shaeffer a brain?



Edit: oops... a bit off the topic/request... sorry

 

[old.Tyraette]

Oh lord, wont you send Jup, straight back to hell
Or alternatively, in pyjama's, and dump in Mag Mell
Make him lvl 1 with spiky hair, with absence of gel
Oh lord, wont you send Jup, straight back to hell