Office Jargon for the 21st Century

[Lamp]

Found this amusing:

http://www.dangerouslogic.com/office_lexicon.html#pidooma

Blamestorming:Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

(from http://www.dangerouslogic.com/trading_places.html via http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trading_Places from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pork_bellies)

 

[Jeremiah]

I liked:

Bosspasm: Any frantic keyboard/mouse activity generated by your boss entering your office; for example, quitting Solitaire and maximizing the budget forecast spreadsheet.

 

[Outlander]

Evil Space Magic
Any technical process or detail you don't understand, particularly something thought to be impossible but accomplished anyway.

I just like saying Evil Space Magic!

 

[Dukat]

Yea i got something similar in an email last week;

liked the seagull manager one

>
>
>> TESTICULATING. Waving your arms around and talking Bollocks.
>>
>> BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was
>> missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
>>
>> SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on
>> everything, and then leaves.
>>
>> ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb success and
>> advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
>>
>> SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream
>> only to get screwed and die.
>>
>> SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies
>> turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay
>> home with the kids or start a "home business".
>>
>> SINBAD. single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and
>> desperate.
>>
>> PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the crap out of an
>> electronic device to get it to work again.
>>
>> OHNOSECOND. That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that
>> you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all')
>>
>> GOING FOR A McSHIT. Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention
>> of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply
>> staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food
>> afterwards is known as a McShit with Lies.
>>
>> AEROPLANE BLONDE. One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a
>> 'black box'.
>>
>> AUSSIE KISS. Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
>>
>> BEER COAT. The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home at 3am
>> after a booze session.
>>
>> BEER COMPASS. The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home
>> after booze session, even though you're too drunk to remember where you
>> live, how you got here, and where you've come from.
>>
>> BREAKING THE SEAL. Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of
>> drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the
>> toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the
>> night.
>>
>> GREYHOUND. A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
>>
>> MILLENNIUM DOMES. The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely
>> impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually naught in
>> there worth seeing.
>>
>> MYSTERY BUS. The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while
>> you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the
>> unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you
>> come back in.
>>
>> PICASSO BUM. A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks
>> like she's got four buttocks.
>>