Off on holiday...

[Imgormiel]

Ok, tomorrow you guys are getting a break from me for a few days due to the fact that I am going to Chicago on 'vacation'. (I can hear the cheers already!)

I've never flown in an airplane before (and I am 37 omfg!!) so what can I expect . And if anyone has some advice about being in America as a tourist then I am grateful. Wonder if there's such a thing as an American parmo, hmmm....

 

[Binky the Bomb]

Ok, semi frequent flyer here, so her are some tips.

1. Pack your bags carefully and strategically so that 'IF' airport security wish to go through your things, it can be repacked easily enough. Keep things like ID, medications and other things you need in a clear resealable bag on your person, keep them with you at all times! Keep your boarding cards and passport together and safe.

2. Plan for delays. Work out how long your trip will take and doule the time. E.g. 1 hour trip to the airport is 2 hours etc. Also, plan to get there an hour (if possible) before the check in begins. Plan to be at the front of the que, because being stuck at the back of the que is bad enough, especially if you need a piss, but being stuck there whilst some 'family a the desk are taking three times as long with 7 bags being checked in' is just a nightmare. It does happen, so plan for that too.

3. Be prepared to spend alot of time going through security. Remember that clear plastic bag with all your loose vital bit and peices? this is where you can usually loose things, so put your watch and any other bits in the security tray before you go through the metal detector. DO NOT WEAR STEEL TIPPED BOOTS! (I did it, the security guy was not amused. nor was he amused during the strip earch when I asked if dinner was included. Curb your sence of humour). Also, if you have anything with a tft screen (PDA, handheld games unit etc) they have to check the screen for liquid explosives and drugs that may be stuck to it, don't be offended when they take the wipes to it.

4. Airports are expensive, but they frown on you taking through your own food and drinks. As your going to be sat there a while, you'r gonna get hungry, take about $50 in cash for each person going with you. Also, try to take a piss and a shit before they start queing for your plane, thats the worse time to suddenly need the facilities, as you can't go on the planes toilet till after takeoff. If there is a delay getting you into the air, it can be an hour of cross legged hell.

5. Boredom is the enemy in an airport, so a magazine, book or handheld games unit is a good idea. Try to keep your mobile off when in a airpot too, as they can set off some security equipment which can get you manhandled by homeland security. Unless your into cavity searches, keep you phone and any smart arsed remarks to yourself. Also, keep your ears open when announcemts are made, any last minute cahnges to your flight can and will be made over the PA, and can usually mean making a detour to another terminal. Travel light if you can.

6. Luggage. Two options for this, first is the student aproach, use only hand luggage and travel light, nothing in the hold. Quick boarding and exit from the airport, but a pain in the ass at security and during bording and exit of the aircraft.
Second is to stick it all in the hold, except your documents and a very small amount of hand luggage. Check-in takes longer and you have to wait for your bags on the exit (Not reccomended to take alot of baggage, one bag if you can get away with it, and make sure its distinctive), but entry and exit of the plane is alot easier.

7. Remember that a plane is nothing more than a flying sardne tin. If you've ever used public transport, this is pretty much the same experience. The seats are cramed together, you'll have no room to stretch out, your sharing oxygen with people you'd rather see dead (As you can tell, i'm a people person), you wont be abe to get up except for the toilet, and refreshments require you to sign over your soul, or spend alot of money (Remember the $50?). Also, if you've never flown before, you'll have to figure out if you want leg room (isle seat) or a view (window seat). Personally, I prefer a window seat. I don't mind heights, and the view can sometimes be quite humbling and inspiring. Upto you though, consider your needs carefully. If your one of the first on, then you'll have the option. If your near the back of the que, you'll be stuck with whats left.

Hope that hasn't depressed you too much. Just remember what you go through 'going' because when your coming back, you'll have a much better idea what to expect.

 

[Amildin]

Who you flying with?

Because usually on the long haul flights you cant choose your seat and drinks and food are free, or at least have been when im around. Maybe i was just stealing... meh.

 

[Imgormiel]

Hmm spot on. Sad thing is I only have steel toe capped boots and i plan on taking them as it's snowing etc over there or has been and it's fucking cold atm. Only going for 4 days so one change of clothes/mobile/watch/cash is all i am taking along with passport and boarding pass. So small rucksack will do.

Anyone with advice on the city would be nice

 

[Imgormiel]

Who you flying with?

Because usually on the long haul flights you cant choose your seat and drinks and food are free, or at least have been when im around. Maybe i was just stealing... meh.

From what lastminute.com website indicated, you are right. The meal is free as they asked me for a preference.

I am going alone man. I am told i will have far more fun this way too

 

[tris-]

Ok, tomorrow you guys are getting a break from me for a few days due to the fact that I am going to Chicago on 'vacation'. (I can hear the cheers already!)

I've never flown in an airplane before (and I am 37 omfg!!) so what can I expect . And if anyone has some advice about being in America as a tourist then I am grateful. Wonder if there's such a thing as an American parmo, hmmm....

yes there is. i know there they sell somewhere. i used to talk to a girl from california over msn and she knew what a parmo was.

 

[Imgormiel]

yes there is. i know there they sell somewhere. i used to talk to a girl from california over msn and she knew what a parmo was.

Hmm, Sharma will be pleased heh

 

[Imgormiel]

hmmm been reading up on jetlag. My original plan was not to sleep tonight and then sleep on the plane as to avoid jetlag. but after reading this :

The Jet Lag Calculator - Reset Your Bodyclock

+

The added variable of air pressure.

It seems my plan seems rather feeble :/

 

[tris-]

stop being a pussy and dont sleep.

 

[Binky the Bomb]

Hmm spot on. Sad thing is I only have steel toe capped boots and i plan on taking them as it's snowing etc over there or has been and it's fucking cold atm. Only going for 4 days so one change of clothes/mobile/watch/cash is all i am taking along with passport and boarding pass. So small rucksack will do.

Anyone with advice on the city would be nice

Right, top tip for the boots. when you get to the x-ray machine, take your boots off and put them through the machine without prompting. If you do it without being asked, they wont give you the third degree when you get through, and the chance of being searched goes right down.

No idea what you'll expect in the city i'm afraid, never been to America.

 

[Imgormiel]

stop being a pussy and dont sleep.

right you are then :kissit:

 

[Imgormiel]

Hmm here is something that I forgot. Do they let you stretch your legs ie go for a short walk around the plane. I have concerns about Deep vein thrombosis. My legs aint in the best of shape :s

 

[Keitan]

Hmm here is something that I forgot. Do they let you stretch your legs ie go for a short walk around the plane. I have concerns about Deep vein thrombosis. My legs aint in the best of shape :s

u can pretend u go to toilet and walk there ;-~)

 

[tris-]

Hmm here is something that I forgot. Do they let you stretch your legs ie go for a short walk around the plane. I have concerns about Deep vein thrombosis. My legs aint in the best of shape :s

lol your not handcuffed to the seat ffs.

i flew to mexico a couple years ago and that was a 10 hour flight or some bollocks.

75% of the time i spent stood up, walking around and general nosying at what the flight attendants do behind the scenes.

 

[Binky the Bomb]

ok, this is going to sound realy gay now, and I do apoligise, but to stop deep vein thrombosis in hospitals (during and after operations) you wear a pair of tighs, reguardless of your sex. On long haul, you are allowed to stretch your legs, but remember, your in a flying sardine tin, there isn't much room anyway. Wearing some tights, or long socks could be of some help if you can't get a bit of a walk.

Massaging your legs during the flight (thighs, knees, lower legs, ankes) does help.

 

[Wonk]

text "Bomb, Bin Laden, Bazooka, Muhammed, Jihaad" to 911 right before you take off. You'll get free transport once you arrive at the airport then.

 

[Himse]

text "Bomb, Bin Laden, Bazooka, Muhammed, Jihaad" to 911 right before you take off. You'll get free transport once you arrive at the airport then.

ROFL.

and i loved the quote about the strip search and is dinner included

 

[Levin]

On the little questionaire card that you receive before landing in the States, they will ask you "Are you planning to committ mass murder in the USA?" and "Are you a terrorist?" and such. Remember to say YES to all of these.

 

[Imgormiel]

ok, this is going to sound realy gay now, and I do apoligise, but to stop deep vein thrombosis in hospitals (during and after operations) you wear a pair of tighs, regardless of your sex. On long haul, you are allowed to stretch your legs, but remember, your in a flying sardine tin, there isn't much room anyway. Wearing some tights, or long socks could be of some help if you can't get a bit of a walk.

Massaging your legs during the flight (thighs, knees, lower legs, ankes) does help.

I already saw that, but does eating gamah's goodness help or he eats mine
obviously you need to pay no heed to what I said heh.

However, thanks for the advice, although sadly none of you knew anything about chicago

I will see you when I return I will have a good holiday and jpegs will be inc from my phone once i return

 

[Imgormiel]

6 hours to go, cba to sleep, plane sleep 4tw. I wanna test that assumption that if you sleep while on plane and reversing in time zones actually gives you jetlag. All very well in principle, but I for one want to see it in practise.

 

[Lamp]

Good post, Binky. I don't fly that much, but when I do it can be a nightmare. Trying to squeeze a 6'7" frame into an economy seat just doesn't work, so have to request a seat on the wing of the plane, or upgrade to the cockpit

 

[Vasconcelos]

Good post, Binky. I don't fly that much, but when I do it can be a nightmare. Trying to squeeze a 6'7" frame into an economy seat just doesn't work, so have to request a seat on the wing of the plane, or upgrade to the cockpit

You dont realy need to be a basketball player to be uncomfortable in an El cheapo seat. Only 5' 8'' and I struggle on every Ryan Air flight

 

[Lamp]

You dont realy need to be a basketball player to be uncomfortable in an El cheapo seat. Only 5' 8'' and I struggle on every Ryan Air flight

Very true.

 

[Cemeterygates]

Flying with easyjet really makes me feel sorry for pilchards

 

[Himse]

Even if they took 1 row of seats out it would mean much more leg room, im much more people would be willing to pay like 20 quid extra to be more comfortable.

 

[Amildin]

Even if they took 1 row of seats out it would mean much more leg room, im much more people would be willing to pay like 20 quid extra to be more comfortable.

depends what flight, id rather have a return ticket to amsterdam for £30 with bad leg room for 45 mins than pay £70 and feel a bit more comfortable. Anyway, just ask politely if you can rest your legs on the person next to you. Introduce yourself as a seriel killer and theres usually np.

 

[Imgormiel]

On the little questionaire card that you receive before landing in the States, they will ask you "Are you planning to committ mass murder in the USA?" and "Are you a terrorist?" and such. Remember to say YES to all of these.

They didn't ask any of those, but i'll remind them of your intent on my way out

 

[Imgormiel]

depends what flight, id rather have a return ticket to amsterdam for £30 with bad leg room for 45 mins than pay £70 and feel a bit more comfortable. Anyway, just ask politely if you can rest your legs on the person next to you. Introduce yourself as a seriel killer and theres usually np.

Nobody told me about ur ears popping like shit in the ascent and the bad hearing and the lack of being able to think straight at 30,000 ft nor the bad hearing on the decent. Oh and ur stomach and freaking out on the ascent either

 

[Binky the Bomb]

Flying takes everyone different i'm afraid. I hardley ever notice the effects of accent and decent. Your better off learning that yourself anyway. As for ears popping, thats a new one on me.

I would like to ask you a question though, were you able to break wind during the flight?

 

[tris-]

Flying takes everyone different i'm afraid. I hardley ever notice the effects of accent and decent. Your better off learning that yourself anyway. As for ears popping, thats a new one on me.

I would like to ask you a question though, were you able to break wind during the flight?

i can but only sometimes, and when i do it fucking stinks.