Nutters

[Munkey-]

Luke deserved to get killled
Han was cool beyond belief
So was chewie
Leia looked fab in a slave costume but a bit too podgy.
I loved the teddies
Jar Jar deserves instand death
So does obi-wan (no luck there till 4)
Pod racing = only good part in film
Episode 4 I LOVED AT THE TIME! Then i grew up and realiesed i hated luke
Episode 5 was great fun and i always got scared during the bit where DV enters the base, for some reason
Episode 6 was ROOOOAAARRR. I still love it today, my most fav, great battle scenes and the comdey value of the muppets? beyond belief. and the teddies were pretty funny too (point in case is where the scout bike gets caught in rope and starts zooming around the tree. And why did the scout troopers always make that *squeaky* noise? v. annoying in my opinion.
Episode 1? DESERVES INSTANT DEATH. should never have been released

 

[Sar]

If I had a gun, two bullets and was locked in a room with Jar Jar, Mr Blobby and Dale Winton, I'd shoot Jar Jar first.







Then shoot him again to make sure.

 

[Damini]

Problems with Episode One:

1) Darth Vader's childhood nickname was "Annie". How on earth can we take him seriously after that? It may as well have been Fluffy. "I will crush the life from this mortal's feeble frame!" "Oh, ok Annie... Cup of tea?"

2) The young Anakin said "wohoo" more often than those bloody Ribena Berries in that also annoying advert of yesteryear. "Right, to totally like set up the character contrast and juxtapose the origins with Anakin with his later self as Darth Vader, lets turn him into one of the most irritatingly nice little shits you've ever encountered." Bleurgh.

3) They had to explain The Force away as like some weird molecular chemical thing, and yet at the same time mixed that up with the immaculate conception. "The force can be tested for in the blood... Mrs Skywalker was obviously gang raped by a group of passing molecules. No wonder Annie can fly that space buggy thingy like a demon." Whaaaat??

4) If you saved Lee Evans life, would you keep him? Would you keep him, especially bearing in mind you'll be heading into life and death situations, and he'll be flaffing about and sweating everywhere? Hell no. You'd either use him to clear away land mines or dump him on the next uninhabited planet. Maybe with food, depending on how much he'd pissed you off. So why on earth did it seem logical to take a rubbery Jamaican fish monkey Lee Evans type traipsing around with them? There's compassion and then there is sheer bloody stupididity. "I'm heading into a dangerous battle situation. I need good men by my side. I need two of the best jedi knights to hold flank, and ummm, ooooh! Ooooh!!! Can I get any of the original cast of the Goons to hold the rear?? Can I? Pleeeeeeeease? Or maybe that Purple Dinosour?"

5) Which brings up swiftly to Jar Jar Binks. Simply the most annoying character ever. Don't tell me that if you were a Jedi, who carried around a lightsabre as standard, that he would have lived through that whole episode. Just one momentairy snap of your willpower and he'd have been sushi. Nobody has that much tolerance. He'd probably be bearable in a cartoon, but he just acted like he was in a cartoon in a feature length film. That bit where he gets his tongue caught, and then shakes his face afterwards.... I can practically hear that noise where Tom gets hit on the head by a mallet in Tom and Jerry, and shakes his head to get rid of the chirpy birds rotating around him. Utter shit. "Mesooo very very retarded." The Ewoks were kitsch, added for the cute factor (they were all originally going to be Wookies, how sweet would that have been? I can imagine the fight scene being over in seconds though, with lots of severed limbs, maybe not so good for the younger audience) but at least some of them died and were a bit heroic. They fought and hit stuff and did little dances over the dead of their enemy. There are some plus sides to them. Jar Jar is irredeemable.

So there you go. I condemn Star Wars Episode One to the sin bin. Some of what I said might be a little inaccurate, because I only watched it the once, and have had no desire to see it again, but I think I've pretty much got everything straight. Judgement passed.

 

[Furr]

/me agrees with that
cept you bad mouthed monkeys , i mean come on look at these monkeys

teeheteh funney munkeh
anyway yeah i found episode one annoying and with a little makover(a big mallet) could of been better

 

[Summo]

A very intelligent, witty and lo-o-ong post there, Damini.

Thank you very much.

*ponder*

 

[Damini]

Originally posted by SomeGuy
A very intelligent, witty and lo-o-ong post there, Damini.

Thank you very much.

*ponder*

Thank you Sir. What grade do I get?

I have to write an essay by three. Im avoiding it...

 

[Furr]

hmmmmm
B++
k?

 

[Summo]

There's no grading here. No judgement. Here you are unique and free to live the way you choose.

D-

 

[Testin da Cable]

I'm sure

 

[xane]

"Darth Vader's childhood nickname was "Annie"".

So, John Wayne was born Marion Morrison.

"wohoo"

He's a kid, all little kids say stupid annoying phrases - "cool", "wicked", "ace", "plush", etc. If the film was trying to portray him as an ordinary kid then it did so admirably.

"molecular chemical thing"

This didn't describe the Force, but simply the measurement of ability that a person will have to use it and control it. The molecule thing was a reference to mitochondrial DNA, which are baceria that are genetically inherited, but not part of the body's own DNA.

"Lee Evans"

If the Trade Federation had occupied all of London apart from the Comedy Store, I'd rely on Lee to lead me to the secret hiding places of promenant stand-up comedians so we could start an uprising, which would actually be little more than a distraction of cannon fodder for my main force.

There are more stand-up comedians in London than you think.

"Ewoks"

Are not cute, unless you refer to the taste of a freshly barbecued one.

E-

 

[Munkey-]

EXPLAIN WHY THE SCOUT TROPPERS IN EPISODE 6 MADE SQUEAKY NOISES!

 

[Damini]

Ok Camazotz, let me subtly rearrange my argument then...

Episode one was pants.

 

[xane]

Ok, Damini, I'll continue the reaarangement.

Your essay is pants, with dried kack in them.

 

[Summo]

:uhoh:

 

[Damini]

Oooh...

*Rummages for handbag*

Unless you are Monsiuer Lucas in disguise, I can't see why me hating Episode One comes as a personal attack. But still, call forth your fish monkeys, I'll summon my winged monkeys, and we can battle to the death.

 

[Testin da Cable]

if he turns out to be lucas...can I shoot him after you kick his tush, D?
pweeeeese?

 

[-Ultimate]

Either its not Lucas or he can direct forum posts better than he can direct films

 

[xane]

Oh dear, I am most terribly sorry, I kind of got the idea we were allowed to challenge opinions here without implying a personal attack, my mistake, note to self "read unwritten forum rules".

Please disarm your handbag, I prefer to battle with skewered Ewoks anyway.

 

[Testin da Cable]

I'll bring the bbq-sauce!!!34

 

[-Ultimate]

Whos ate all the leg meat ya greedy bastards!