Nice little story..

Cozak

Part of the furniture
Joined
Jan 15, 2004
Messages
2,871
nerf :p thats what 6 days of 11 hour shifts does for your computer life thing, need to get back with the program!
 

Ezteq

Queen of OT
Joined
Jan 4, 2004
Messages
13,457
lol shhhh dont post maybe this'll just get passed over and no one will notice.

*whistles inconspicuously*
 

Ezteq

Queen of OT
Joined
Jan 4, 2004
Messages
13,457
stoppit ffs stop bumping his thread youll embarrass the poor sod then his mam'll come and duff you up.

Tbh if people keep posting it'll never go away, which reminds me of a similar situation i was in about 30 years ago in the sudan, when there was the uprising of the umbobs and the great chuppa chupp famine had been ongoing for at least 5 years........ *wavey tales of the unexpected music and dancing ladies*

My faithful retainer Piddlesmithe and I had just finished our fact finding expedition for the ordenance survey of sudan corperation and were in dire need of water, sustanance and corn plasters when we came across a most unusual species of clematis, instead of the usual eliptical petals it had mildly oval petals, well needless to say we were truely astounded and made sketches using a stratching implement fashoned from a piece of herring jaw bone and Piddlesmithe was good enough to loan me the use of his back as a canvas, which was all well and good but the stamen area of the drawing was getting lost in the folds of his hump, i did suggest he did a hand stand but we all know where that leads eh!

Anyway after the sketches were complete and Piddlesmithe's back had scabbed up suitably we headed back to camp for some scrambled eggs and a cup of darjeling (andlets face it my corns wernt going to heal themselves were they!) when another astounding incedent occured, we were crossing a small ravine when Piddlesmithe slipped on his truss and fell down the 50 drop, to say this was a set back was an understatment, things were looking desperate! he had been in my family for 82 years and his father, uncle and grandfather (who were technically the same person) before him (he was from a small town near chipping sodbury you see) so i had grown rather attached to the old boy and seeing his watery eyes widen as he bounced and collided with every rock on the way down was most troublesome... and he had the clematis sketches on his back!

I managed to make some rope out of a small warren of gophers i uncovered and half a tuna baguette i had saved from lunch and started absailing down to fetch Piddlesmithe who was by now surely a dead man! as i lowered myself i could hear hyenas approaching and realised the scent from the gopher blood on the rope must have attracted them, i cursed myself for not wringing them out thrououghly and continued at an acelerated pace.

Suddelny the rope began twitching and i could feel it growing slacker, the damn hyeanas were eating my rope! if i didnt move faster i would be as dead as Piddlesmithe, bracing myself i losened my grip and slid the remaining 3feet to the bottom (it was the most harrowing, heartstopping 2 seconds of my life!) but i made it! against the odds i'd done it and i began my search for poor Piddlesmithe, i found him soon after sat on a rock eating a scone and singing "wasnt it fun when aunt fanny came to tea", astounded at this mans resaliance i swiftly bashed him over the head with a soup ladel and skinned him, laying out the back portion of his skin to dry i made a small go kart out of his remains and after i recovered the sketches i drove in to the camp, where we all had lemon curd sandwiches and laughed about my latest adventure.

so you see people really should let sleeping dogs lie!
 

tris-

Failed Geordie and Parmothief
Joined
Jan 2, 2004
Messages
15,260
that is an excerpt from ezteqs new book

Ezteq:My life through acid
 

echome

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Feb 19, 2004
Messages
1,609
Ezteq said:
stoppit ffs stop bumping his thread youll embarrass the poor sod then his mam'll come and duff you up.

Tbh if people keep posting it'll never go away, which reminds me of a similar situation i was in about 30 years ago in the sudan, when there was the uprising of the umbobs and the great chuppa chupp famine had been ongoing for at least 5 years........ *wavey tales of the unexpected music and dancing ladies*

My faithful retainer Piddlesmithe and I had just finished our fact finding expedition for the ordenance survey of sudan corperation and were in dire need of water, sustanance and corn plasters when we came across a most unusual species of clematis, instead of the usual eliptical petals it had mildly oval petals, well needless to say we were truely astounded and made sketches using a stratching implement fashoned from a piece of herring jaw bone and Piddlesmithe was good enough to loan me the use of his back as a canvas, which was all well and good but the stamen area of the drawing was getting lost in the folds of his hump, i did suggest he did a hand stand but we all know where that leads eh!

Anyway after the sketches were complete and Piddlesmithe's back had scabbed up suitably we headed back to camp for some scrambled eggs and a cup of darjeling (andlets face it my corns wernt going to heal themselves were they!) when another astounding incedent occured, we were crossing a small ravine when Piddlesmithe slipped on his truss and fell down the 50 drop, to say this was a set back was an understatment, things were looking desperate! he had been in my family for 82 years and his father, uncle and grandfather (who were technically the same person) before him (he was from a small town near chipping sodbury you see) so i had grown rather attached to the old boy and seeing his watery eyes widen as he bounced and collided with every rock on the way down was most troublesome... and he had the clematis sketches on his back!

I managed to make some rope out of a small warren of gophers i uncovered and half a tuna baguette i had saved from lunch and started absailing down to fetch Piddlesmithe who was by now surely a dead man! as i lowered myself i could hear hyenas approaching and realised the scent from the gopher blood on the rope must have attracted them, i cursed myself for not wringing them out thrououghly and continued at an acelerated pace.

Suddelny the rope began twitching and i could feel it growing slacker, the damn hyeanas were eating my rope! if i didnt move faster i would be as dead as Piddlesmithe, bracing myself i losened my grip and slid the remaining 3feet to the bottom (it was the most harrowing, heartstopping 2 seconds of my life!) but i made it! against the odds i'd done it and i began my search for poor Piddlesmithe, i found him soon after sat on a rock eating a scone and singing "wasnt it fun when aunt fanny came to tea", astounded at this mans resaliance i swiftly bashed him over the head with a soup ladel and skinned him, laying out the back portion of his skin to dry i made a small go kart out of his remains and after i recovered the sketches i drove in to the camp, where we all had lemon curd sandwiches and laughed about my latest adventure.

so you see people really should let sleeping dogs lie!


You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Ezteq again.
 

evzy

Can't get enough of FH
Joined
Jan 2, 2004
Messages
2,482
Anyone mention this was posted the other day yet?
 

Laddey

FH is my second home
Joined
May 24, 2005
Messages
7,124
lilmissnaughty said:
drugs r bad;)

'' Don't believe me ask your dad ''


''starts singing eminem song''

I'm sorry, burn me slowly!!




P.S no offence hun
 

Bracken

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Jan 7, 2004
Messages
2,368
Has anyone seen my cat? Tabby, but with ginger nuts. Answers to the name of Gingernuts.

Nice story btw Cozak, though seems kind of familiar...
 

Ezteq

Queen of OT
Joined
Jan 4, 2004
Messages
13,457
evzy said:
Anyone mention this was posted the other day yet?
lol read the whole thread dude, (kk your excused from reading my epid waffle but read the bits before there) thats the whole point, this is a repost and i'm trying to hide it to save cozak from embarrassment, but people.... mean, nasty, evil poeple keep bumping it


*whistles theme from Bod*
 

evzy

Can't get enough of FH
Joined
Jan 2, 2004
Messages
2,482
Ezteq said:
lol read the whole thread dude, (kk your excused from reading my epid waffle but read the bits before there) thats the whole point, this is a repost and i'm trying to hide it to save cozak from embarrassment, but people.... mean, nasty, evil poeple keep bumping it


*whistles theme from Bod*

It was meant in a sarcastic type way noting everyone else was riding on the "its already been posted" bandwagon I thought I too would hitch a ride....

Besides which - has anyone mentioned this was posted the other day yet?

Lets hope my reply doesnt bump this back up and bring more shame upon this thread.... I will try to press Submit Reply gently!!
 

Cozak

Part of the furniture
Joined
Jan 15, 2004
Messages
2,871
GAHHHHHD, Napoleon Dyna mite stylee.
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Top Bottom