New European Language

Sparx

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European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.


As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".


In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.


The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.


There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.



In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.


Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.


Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.


By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".


During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.


Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.


Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.


If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl i.e. ad yur budis
 

DocWolfe

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So old it was inscribed into the asteroid that first spawned life on this planet.
 

Tilda

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Its funny, I know OT so well know I can just read the thread title and think "old" to myself. Jeez, the same stuff comes around with such regularity I bet tomorrow someone will post the video of the cats in the viking boat. :D
 

Morchaoron

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Tilda said:
Its funny, I know OT so well know I can just read the thread title and think "old" to myself. Jeez, the same stuff comes around with such regularity I bet tomorrow someone will post the video of the cats in the viking boat. :D
the what??
 

Naffets

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mmmm i can sense the old is strong in this one

still laugh made me, it did
 

Dukat

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Gamah said:
Superb!

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Gamah again.
:( Why is it I always rep people for some silly thing, and then, when they finally do something so amazing it "makes wee come out of your nose" as thad said, I cant rep them for it :( :(
 

Dr_Evil

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I hadn't seen it before, but it's funny how when you just remove the "c" and replace it with "k" or "s" many words become Scandinavian. For example akseptanse and also that fotograf, and I've gotten so used to writing English now that it becomes weird looking at my own language and making me think "is it really spelled like that?".
 

Naetha

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Dukat said:
Superb!

:( Why is it I always rep people for some silly thing, and then, when they finally do something so amazing it "makes wee come out of your nose" as thad said, I cant rep them for it :( :(
QFT :(

Sorry Gamah!
 

Sparx

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yes i believe Gamah has olded himself with double posting the same joke
 

Overdriven

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I actually thought this was serious =( God damn I shouldn't read OT when I just wake up.
 

Sparx

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i've never seen it before, but i guess i'm not as much of a troll as others
 

old.Tohtori

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DocWolfe said:
So old it was inscribed into the asteroid that first spawned life on this planet.
Actually it went along these lines:

There was a joke in the third planet of the sixth sun in the horsehead nebula that was so old that the ancients who created that planet from bubblegum and lollipop sticks thought it was old as f*ck. So the citizens of that planet deviced a plan; they wrote the joke on a huge rock and hurled it into space. Simple plan but it worked like a lucky charm. This asteroid later found itself landing on the third planet of our solar system and started life there.

About so atleast.
 

Coldbeard

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I thought Pip's rantings finally qualified for a brand new language.
 

Solo

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Franglais as new national language si'l vous please.
 

Pertan

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What's old and dull is people saying stuff is old :)
 

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