T
Tasans
Guest
English Rules!!!
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the European Union
rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of
the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year
phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".
Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k".
This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less
letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when
the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will
make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double
letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the
languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl
riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil
find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil
finali kum tru.
If zis mad yu smil, pleas pas it on to oza pepl.
-Zis i fund in my mail zis morning
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the European Union
rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of
the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year
phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".
Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k".
This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less
letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when
the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will
make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double
letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the
languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl
riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil
find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil
finali kum tru.
If zis mad yu smil, pleas pas it on to oza pepl.
-Zis i fund in my mail zis morning