Dutch_NS
Can't get enough of FH
- Joined
- May 18, 2006
- Messages
- 608
Hi Guys,
Many of you know me very good, others just a bit, and some don't know me at all. In all these years I have been playing Camelot and writing here on the forums, I have been struggling with my health, I ended up each year in the hospital for a couple of months and they could never find anything. The last 5 years have been a living hell for me. My day looked like this: Sleep 1 hour, on the toilet 6-7 hours rest of the day lay on the ground and cry from the pain even with max dose morphine.
Until 3 months ago, I got a call from the hospital that I need to come ASAP! Some student figured out what I got and he and his Prof, developed an experimental drug, I was selected with 14 other people for this trial.
Now the part where it gets scary, there was a 60% I could die, and they were not even sure it would work. So what did I say? I'll think about it? Ask more questions? No, I said okay lets do it, without even thinking about it, if they would of said 90% I would of said instantly yes! When you are alone this would be a normal response but when you got a relationship of 8 years going it's not wise to do that, I will come back to this later.
So i got 2 shots and within 5 min i felt like I was reborn, no more pain! I fucking kissed everyone I came across i danced around the entire hospital, i made a few burnouts in the parking lot with my car!
Then the next couple of days I got a phone call, to inform me that it worked with all 15 test subjects but 6 of them already died (bleeding in the brain) So I had to tell my Girlfriend what i had done, and she was not fucking happy that I made that call without her, we never had a fight in all those 8 years but this was a big one, and I am writing this as a single man now....
Why do i write this here? Because I was depressed for the last couple of years I thought about killing myself a couple of times, I was moody and rude to my Girlfriend each day, but she kept on supporting me and said each day what ever you do, NEVER GIVE UP AND FIGHT!! So I kept on fighting and now I'm cured and i won, but I also lost. I lost the love of my life because of this stupid disease in the end, the not informing here was just a symbol of the last couple of years, she tried everything and it drained her to much, and now that I'm healthy she felt that she could be herself again.
Well I owe her my life, and will be forever in her dept, I miss her with all my hearth each day even more, I have to watch out that I'm not starting to get depressed now.
What I'm trying to say is, If you have a problem, if you are sick or if you have something on your mind that is bothering you. Speak with you Girlfriend/Boyfriend or other people that you thrust, but don't shut them out, thank them with little things, I did not do this I was just moody, depressed and did not wanted to listen.
Learn from my mistakes before its to late!
But the most important part of this like Winston Churchill said: Never Never Never Give Up!
Just keep on fighting guys, If I can do it then everyone can do it! Always keep your head up, how bad it is at the moment, there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel!
Many of you know me very good, others just a bit, and some don't know me at all. In all these years I have been playing Camelot and writing here on the forums, I have been struggling with my health, I ended up each year in the hospital for a couple of months and they could never find anything. The last 5 years have been a living hell for me. My day looked like this: Sleep 1 hour, on the toilet 6-7 hours rest of the day lay on the ground and cry from the pain even with max dose morphine.
Until 3 months ago, I got a call from the hospital that I need to come ASAP! Some student figured out what I got and he and his Prof, developed an experimental drug, I was selected with 14 other people for this trial.
Now the part where it gets scary, there was a 60% I could die, and they were not even sure it would work. So what did I say? I'll think about it? Ask more questions? No, I said okay lets do it, without even thinking about it, if they would of said 90% I would of said instantly yes! When you are alone this would be a normal response but when you got a relationship of 8 years going it's not wise to do that, I will come back to this later.
So i got 2 shots and within 5 min i felt like I was reborn, no more pain! I fucking kissed everyone I came across i danced around the entire hospital, i made a few burnouts in the parking lot with my car!
Then the next couple of days I got a phone call, to inform me that it worked with all 15 test subjects but 6 of them already died (bleeding in the brain) So I had to tell my Girlfriend what i had done, and she was not fucking happy that I made that call without her, we never had a fight in all those 8 years but this was a big one, and I am writing this as a single man now....
Why do i write this here? Because I was depressed for the last couple of years I thought about killing myself a couple of times, I was moody and rude to my Girlfriend each day, but she kept on supporting me and said each day what ever you do, NEVER GIVE UP AND FIGHT!! So I kept on fighting and now I'm cured and i won, but I also lost. I lost the love of my life because of this stupid disease in the end, the not informing here was just a symbol of the last couple of years, she tried everything and it drained her to much, and now that I'm healthy she felt that she could be herself again.
Well I owe her my life, and will be forever in her dept, I miss her with all my hearth each day even more, I have to watch out that I'm not starting to get depressed now.
What I'm trying to say is, If you have a problem, if you are sick or if you have something on your mind that is bothering you. Speak with you Girlfriend/Boyfriend or other people that you thrust, but don't shut them out, thank them with little things, I did not do this I was just moody, depressed and did not wanted to listen.
Learn from my mistakes before its to late!
But the most important part of this like Winston Churchill said: Never Never Never Give Up!
Just keep on fighting guys, If I can do it then everyone can do it! Always keep your head up, how bad it is at the moment, there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel!
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