T
Trem
Guest
Hey all, you probably haven't noticed but I've been away all week, it wasn't exactly a great holiday, I copy and pasted this from my clans forum because it hurt me fingers typing it out and I didn't want to do it again:-
Well im back from me hols, was it nice you may ask, well no, no it wasn't, we arrived at our deliverance type cottage in the lake district last Saturday at approximately 3 pm, after the fucking treasure hunt to find the key we entered the cottage, hmmmm strange smell(like me nan who died in '86)we half expected to find a corpse in the bath tub(see Elbow-Newborn for that line), anyway we unpacked trying to put a brave face on(samm was really excited about our first holiday in 2 years), I sat down knackered and samm went to make a brew, hmm T.V I thought, oh no you don't the cottage thought, not one fucking channel was received, not a massive problem but I wanted to watch the world cup and what the fuck do you do if its raining outside(I don't drink!!!), ah well still 50% putting a brave face on, samm brought the tea in and we drank it, "just taking the dogs a walk" she sez, "ok I'll have a bath" I say(the bathroom was directly off the kitchen!), so I turned on the water, hmmm odd the water appears to be brown, must just be crap in the pipes I thought, but oh no, oh dear god no, it filled the bath to the brim with dark brown water, smelling a bit I thought fuck it and jumped in(quickest bath ever, about 4 minutes 57 seconds). After bath I thought I'll go and climb on the roof to see if we can get a picture on the telly by messing with the aerial, nope no luck, so I rip the twat off the chimney and start walking around the garden with samm yelling if we got a picture(which we didn't), I finally got the worst picture ever for ITV by placing the aerial about 50 yards from the house, so there we sat watching ant and dec on a saturday night. Bedtime was a fucking nightmare, I vetted all the rooms, one of which had the scariest photo's in of a dead old woman or summat, I finally decided that we should sleep in the most normal room which didn't have demonic pictures in it like in the game Undying. After a terrible nights sleep we got up and took the dogs a walk around lake windermere, this is more like it, we had a nice walk and the dogs loved it, on the way back to the cottage we cut across a corner which was just long grass, no problem there you may say, but you see there is a problem, we live in the town and we aren't used to ticks, but if you take your dogs through long grass by sheep it may end up infested, which unfortunately our biggest dog did, we are still ripping them out of him now, I have never seen anything so disgusting as these little fuckers. We got back to the cottage and samm's lip started quivering "do you want to stay" she sez "up to you" I say, so at approximately 2pm we packed up the car and left, thank christ my uncle has a flat in Wales, which for the last week is where we've stayed.
Well im back from me hols, was it nice you may ask, well no, no it wasn't, we arrived at our deliverance type cottage in the lake district last Saturday at approximately 3 pm, after the fucking treasure hunt to find the key we entered the cottage, hmmmm strange smell(like me nan who died in '86)we half expected to find a corpse in the bath tub(see Elbow-Newborn for that line), anyway we unpacked trying to put a brave face on(samm was really excited about our first holiday in 2 years), I sat down knackered and samm went to make a brew, hmm T.V I thought, oh no you don't the cottage thought, not one fucking channel was received, not a massive problem but I wanted to watch the world cup and what the fuck do you do if its raining outside(I don't drink!!!), ah well still 50% putting a brave face on, samm brought the tea in and we drank it, "just taking the dogs a walk" she sez, "ok I'll have a bath" I say(the bathroom was directly off the kitchen!), so I turned on the water, hmmm odd the water appears to be brown, must just be crap in the pipes I thought, but oh no, oh dear god no, it filled the bath to the brim with dark brown water, smelling a bit I thought fuck it and jumped in(quickest bath ever, about 4 minutes 57 seconds). After bath I thought I'll go and climb on the roof to see if we can get a picture on the telly by messing with the aerial, nope no luck, so I rip the twat off the chimney and start walking around the garden with samm yelling if we got a picture(which we didn't), I finally got the worst picture ever for ITV by placing the aerial about 50 yards from the house, so there we sat watching ant and dec on a saturday night. Bedtime was a fucking nightmare, I vetted all the rooms, one of which had the scariest photo's in of a dead old woman or summat, I finally decided that we should sleep in the most normal room which didn't have demonic pictures in it like in the game Undying. After a terrible nights sleep we got up and took the dogs a walk around lake windermere, this is more like it, we had a nice walk and the dogs loved it, on the way back to the cottage we cut across a corner which was just long grass, no problem there you may say, but you see there is a problem, we live in the town and we aren't used to ticks, but if you take your dogs through long grass by sheep it may end up infested, which unfortunately our biggest dog did, we are still ripping them out of him now, I have never seen anything so disgusting as these little fuckers. We got back to the cottage and samm's lip started quivering "do you want to stay" she sez "up to you" I say, so at approximately 2pm we packed up the car and left, thank christ my uncle has a flat in Wales, which for the last week is where we've stayed.
