Help Mums BF is a git

[Laddey]

Hey, so need a little advice to anybody who has experienced this. I think it only applies for UK people due to it been different in different countries.

Me (19), mum and brother (5) live in this house with this fucking cock-end. He walks all over my mum bla de bla (im not giving the sob story) and my mum isn't on the tennancy agreement. So basically if he wanted to kick us out he could.

WTF can my mum do? She hasn't got enough points to qualify for another house, we have no where to go basically. The housing said that tbh, u aint got enough points we arn't putting you on the list. What the fuck are we ment to do? Seriously. It's all gonna end up in tears i can see it now. There was a big kick off last night that sparked all this up.

Please no "buy a house" etc, she works part-time and is also a careworker, she hasn't got the money and time to be looking for houses and sorting shit out, looking after my little brother is a full time job.

What are we ment to do tbh?

 

[Overdriven]

What I SUGGEST you do is get your parent go to the councill and explain that you're going to be homeless in an amount of time, that she's got a under 10 year old (They have to help people with under 16s I think) and explain the situation going on. Not much else tbh =< Local councill.

 

[old.Tohtori]

What OD said, that or you get the apartment for you as you're legal age to get one.

 

[Laddey]

What OD said, that or you get the apartment for you as you're legal age to get one.

Not on £90.01 a week i cant ;<

I dont want to leave my mum with this fucking bell end anyway. He walks all over her with me here, he'd be twice as worse if i fucked off.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Not on £90.01 a week i cant ;<

I dont want to leave my mum with this fucking bell end anyway. He walks all over her with me here, he'd be twice as worse if i fucked off.

I meant that you get the apartment somewhere, your mum pays you the rent, you help with whatnot you can.

From the sounds of it, it's either do or die there.

Can relate, father was a massive bastard of epic proportions. It didn't stop until break-up and move.

 

[Laddey]

I meant that you get the apartment somewhere, your mum pays you the rent, you help with whatnot you can.

From the sounds of it, it's either do or die there.

Can relate, father was a massive bastard of epic proportions. It didn't stop until break-up and move.

I wonder if i went into the housing office later today and told them the situation sthey would give me information on be half of my mum? Unless its all that classified shat

 

[- English -]

Go talk to someone.

If your mum became homeless with a 5yr old son the council will find her accommodation surely?

 

[Overdriven]

They have to by law (*Waits for necessary people*) iirc, especially if the parent is on a certain wage bracket. We went through this recently, but since I was >18 and they assumed I had a job, they didn't help. We managed to find a place and get it set about a week before we had to leave our last place.]

Laddey, I think they'd ask to speak to your mum.

 

[tris-]

she hasn't got the money and time to be looking for houses and sorting shit out

heres a tip then.

instead of sitting on your arse all day monged out on weed, and ####### 100s of £s worth of ####### every weekend, try helping her out with this very task?

stop blowing your money and shit and spend it where its goinna help. in this case, giving you a house. you cant rely on the council forever.

youre 19 now, its time to start helping out. if you have time to sit around all day stoned off your face, youve got time to help her with the problem.

 

[amodien]

Pay a "fixer" to get rid of him, plenty about and some are reasonable rates.

 

[old.Tohtori]

heres a tip then.

instead of sitting on your arse all day monged out on weed, and ####### 100s of £s worth of ####### every weekend, try helping her out with this very task?

stop blowing your money and shit and spend it where its goinna help. in this case, giving you a house. you cant rely on the council forever.

youre 19 now, its time to start helping out. if you have time to sit around all day stoned off your face, youve got time to help her with the problem.

Harsh, but fair.

Although, if one doesn't give a f*ck(so to speak, not saying) and wants to start his own life, would be fair enough too in my books.

 

[Amanita]

I wonder if i went into the housing office later today and told them the situation sthey would give me information on be half of my mum? Unless its all that classified shat

Do that. I am sure that the housing office will be able to at least give you information about how your mother would go about sorting things out.
Its scary to think that your "step father" could be using the house to keep your mother dependant on him, its amazing some of the things people do for that kind of power over someone else.

 

[Dukat]

I agree with what English said, it might help if you have someone impartial you can just talk to, what you're going through obviously must be incredibly hard.

My Dad left my Mum when I was five years old, we had a house that my Mum couldnt pay the mortgage for so it was repossessed and we ended up in council housing. It wasnt pretty for a start but with work it got alot better.

How close are you with your Mum? Can you talk to her about things? Can you try to talk to her about your concerns about where things are going, about this bloke shes with, and about what the options are?

It might be the best bet. The council should provide you with accomodation if things are done properly, but as tris said you cant rely on the council forever, and it would probably be alot better if you could talk to her and see if you can afford to rent somewhere between you, just incase this becomes necessary.

Hope you get things worked out, all I can suggest is just to talk to people as much as you can.

 

[Bahumat]

I read "Mums BF is a cvnt" as "Mums big fanny is a ****".

Anyways to be serious, I think you should go to the council like the others said. Or see if there are any other people who can better advise you. I dont know who, a social worker may be able to help, but they may want to investigate home life and it could get worse before it gets better?

 

[Ezteq]

tbh you cant do anything, your mum has to and you have to find out if she actually wants to (harsh but true: some women would rather be with someone who is an arsehole than be alone).

find out what she wants then action it (or not) together and do like tris said and save some money up because whats weed and beer this week could be rent next week.

 

[Huntingtons]

i bet he reads fh ;(

 

[Shagrat]

Check it out with the Citizens Advice Bureau as well, they know shedlaods about housing law etc.

 

[GReaper]

The only way you're going to get more points/priority is to be kicked out? Until then you've still got a home and you're low priority. If you're not kicked out then you'll be making yourselves intentionally homeless, so your council won't have any obligation to help you.

I think even if you do get a higher priority, you'd still end up in temporary accommodation until a suitable home can be found? Whilst your situation might suck at the moment, the stress of trying to get somewhere else might be tough.

I'm not exactly knowledgeable about your rights (never been in this situation), but get the proper advice and consider your options carefully. At the end of the day though it has to be your mums decision.

 

[cHodAX]

Once you are homeless the council are legally obliged to put you in temporary accomodation, at this stage your housing points go through the roof and you will be second top priority for housing after all the asylum seekers (I shit you not).

Best bet, get down to the citizens advice centre tomorrow. They will tell you the exact procedure and if your brother has special needs then they will not be allowed to put you in sheltered accomodation if I remember correctly which means you will probably be given a shit flat on a temporary basis until you can be assigned something more suitable.

Either way you need to find out now so that when the time comes your mum doesn't panic and end up caving in to the demands of this total fuckwit.

 

[Calaen]

Most councils hold back what they consider good properties for people that need them the most. Dont tell the council that she might be homeless soon, tell the council that he is an abusive partner and he has kicked you out and as such you are sleeping with friends till you get somewhere else.

Aside from that I agree with Tris, while not exactly the same situation as yourself, my mother had two kids to bring up and a lot of bad boyfriends along the way. When I left school at 16 I started on a YTS so I could give my mother an extra £30 a week on top of my paper rounds wages. I knew she was struggling and I helped out, just being concerned is not enough if you yourself can help out financially.

 

[Lamp]

Gotta do everything you can to help your ma out IMO

 

[Laddey]

Thanks for your help y'all.

For the record, i start work as an apprentice computer engineer on the 8th of September.

I get paid £90.01 a week, my mum is getting £30 of that. I'll help out any other way i can.

 

[Dark Orb Choir]

does your mum actually want to leave the "tosser" ?

if she leaves/gets kicked out then the council have a duty of care to rehome you.

best way to sort all this out is to ring the police the next time something kicks off, so they have a record of the shit going on, goto the council and say you are homeless (and tell them the police have been involved as its a domestic) they may put you in a hostel temporarily until a council house comes up but i presume thats better than being around a "tosser".

If you have lived there for more than a year then your mum can be put onto the tenancy, obviously this "tosser" isnt going to agree to that but the flipside is that the council have to find her somewhere to live.

i have had previous experience in this type of situation so i know what the score is.

 

[Ezteq]

off topic (dont punch me Laddey)

i got 2 dinosaur dvds through the post today, man it was sooo great. ones about the dinosaurs of asia and one is about australia and the antartic...so that means i now have the complete set.


threadjack returned

 

[Dark Orb Choir]

pleae do not feed the trolls

 

[Laddey]

off topic (dont punch me Laddey)

i got 2 dinosaur dvds through the post today, man it was sooo great. ones about the dinosaurs of asia and one is about australia and the antartic...so that means i now have the complete set.


threadjack returned

Hahaha touche~

 

[Zede]

use some "snooping" device - heck a mobile will do.


for future use, gather some damming evidence of the fucker being nasty.

 

[tris-]

i dont think being nasty is a crime

 

[Tilda]

Is the flat you're in now a council one, or one that he rents?
Do you or your mum contribute to rent?
Does your mum do cleaning etc ie, he pays rent, i clean and cook?

 

[Sharma]

Go talk to someone.

If your mum became homeless with a 5yr old son the council will find her accommodation surely?

They'll be too busy housing the polish first tbh.