More Classic Chick Shennanigans!

[Damini]

http://www.chick.com/reading/books/204/0204_10.asp

I want to read this book so badly, but also I don't want to pay this raving lunatic any money, so I'm torn. But there are so many beautiful gems of insanity just waiting to be dug out. Maybe I can attack someone from the church with a mace of spasming, and just steal one?

A retired police officer who lectures police groups on the occult said D & D is:

"...supposed to be a board game, but kids play it for life and death on the street."

The director of a local mental health clinic testified that the boy "became obsessed (a nice way of saying possessed) with the sudden need to kill."

What happened? How could a 14-year-old child murder two young children in cold blood for no reason and with no feeling? Simple. He had been playing Dungeons and Dragons for a year and a half and had been a dungeon master for 5 months

I remember talking with a desperate boy who had played D & D for several years. Though it started as just a game, it didn't stay that way for long.

To progress in the game, he asked D & D "creatures" to help him win battles. He had no idea, but those creatures were literal demons. When he asked them to come to him and help him, he was unknowingly inviting actual demons into his body.

Sheer undiluted genius. With just a hint of paranoid schitzophrenia.

 

[fatbusinessman]

I'm mildly intrigued by the chapter entitled "How can sex destroy you?"

I wasn't aware that it could, unless you have a heart attack during it or something...

 

[Damini]

Small demons crawl up your urethra and eat your soul, actually.

 

[Wij]

"Freddyshouse is a cunning device to trick kids into worshipping Satan. Have you noticed its colour. GREEN. Green like Satan's boogers or Satan's urine when he has a hangover."

 

[SilverHood]

"Freddyshouse is a cunning device to trick kids into worshipping Satan. Have you noticed its colour. GREEN. Green like Satan's boogers or Satan's urine when he has a hangover."

Or his "ahem" when he's been drinking Guiness and eating cabbage

 

[Wij]

Or his "ahem" when he's been drinking Guiness and eating cabbage

HE GOT YOU TOO !!!!

*sacrifice to Jehovah*

 

[ArrrImmaPir8!]

His tracts are a work of beauty since you get the random insanity along with really bad pictures. The only other website that really comes close is Law for Kids, in particular this work of art; I didn't know you was down with the chronic! The lesson aparently being that if you don't smoke 'tha chronic' you get a shit job with pie charts, but if you do you can grow a great bit of facial hair.

 

[Paradroid]

His tracts are a work of beauty since you get the random insanity along with really bad pictures. The only other website that really comes close is Law for Kids, in particular this work of art; I didn't know you was down with the chronic! The lesson aparently being that if you don't smoke 'tha chronic' you get a shit job with pie charts, but if you do you can grow a great bit of facial hair.

Yeah, one became a famous rapper but the other "got left behind"...

I thought this one was worrying...

 

[Summo]

Fuck the police state, man! Stay out past 10pm!

 

[Summo]

Snitch on your friends! It's cool and they'll respec' you in da hood!

http://www.lawforkids.org/Cartoons/8.cfm

 

[ArrrImmaPir8!]

http://www.lawforkids.org/Cartoons/9.cfm

Look out smokers, Condoleeza Rice is after you!

http://www.lawforkids.org/Cartoons/5.cfm

Fuck knows what's going on here.

 

[Paradroid]

http://www.lawforkids.org/Cartoons/9.cfm

Look out smokers, Condoleeza Rice is after you!

http://www.lawforkids.org/Cartoons/5.cfm

Fuck knows what's going on here.

The Nanny State.

We missed the Rodney King slides between being stopped and cautioned.

 

[ArrrImmaPir8!]

I'd have matched the font and stuff but fuck it.

 

[Sigurd]

HAY M8S!!!1 (always wanted to say that) I think they should try preaching that chavs are going to hell instead of nerds. I mean.. hmm.. people who spend their time battling with little figures, or roleplaying, vs people who "twock ol' granmaz' ova' da' head" with a lead pipe. I know who gets my vote.

 

[Sigurd]

Had to post again.. this kind of propaganda is sickening: http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1052/1052_01.asp

 

[Wij]

I'd have matched the font and stuff but fuck it.

lool

 

[Damini]

Had to post again.. this kind of propaganda is sickening: http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1052/1052_01.asp

I read that already. It's intensely amusing -

If anyone tries to make you gay - stay away from them!

The phone rings in a suburban apartment.

A woman answers it.

Woman: Hello?

Man on phone: Ah, yes, hello. I'd just like to let you know that this is not a sale call, I just want to ask you a few questions.

Woman: Ok...

Man: If price was no object, have you ever considered becoming a homosexual?

Woman: Huh?

Man: It's just we have some representatives in your area next week, making a few new homosexuals, and I was wondering if you'd like to see our catalogue, maybe get a free quote?

Woman: I'm really not sure...

Man: You're really under no obligation to turn homosexual straight away, this offer will be good for a six months.

Woman: ...

 

[Wij]

Patronising crap init. Like kids can't make up their own minds

I mean, they can see the little devils ffs. They're not THICK !

 

[Sigurd]

american kids can't

 

[Tom]

Thats so retarded I think it serves a purpose, although not what the author intended.

 

[Lester]

Free Todd!!11

 

[the_hermit]

this guy creases me up - I've been reading his "stuff" for laughs for a while... And being a Dungeons and Dragons addict (ok, geek...) it's true. Me and my wife (who also plays D&D!) only had two kids so we could sacrifice them to one of our heathen Gods...*

Goats blood is a nightmare to get out of the carpet though. Go laminate flooring!*

Any of you tried mailing him to tell him that while he is entitled to his views, he might want to pull his head from his ass? Or that you're putting a long-range curse from your evils gods upon him?*





*sarcasm