Monday Humour

[Vladamir]

Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the veterinarian's. One of the dogs was hanging its head and sighing. The second dog turned to him and asked: "What are you in here for, buddy?"

The dog looked depressed, "I'm in big trouble", he said, "My owner has a really nice sports car with leather seats. I just love to go for rides in it. Well, the other day, he took me for a ride and I was so excited, I peed on the nice leather seat. Now he's having me put to sleep."

"I know how you feel", said the second dog. "My owners have a beautiful, expensive oriental rug. The other day they were late getting home from work and I just couldn't help myself... I pooed all over their nice carpet and ruined it. They're having me put to sleep, too."

Both dogs turned to the third dog in the waiting room. "So what are you here for?" they asked.

"Well," said the third dog, "my owner likes to do her housework in the nude. The other day, she was vacuuming and she knelt down to vacuum under the sofa, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and had the ride of my life!"

The other dogs nodded in sympathy, "So she's having you put to sleep, too, huh?"

"No," said the dog, "I'm having my nails clipped."

 

[Dreamor]

Haha, Nice for a Monday thats not bad... you've some work to do for the Friday joke though

 

[NikonL]

You're going to buy a dog now aren't you vlad.

 

[Gamah]

Vlads a student, he wouldn't know housework if it smacked him in the face with a dildo.

 

[Imgormiel]

You're going to buy a dog now aren't you vlad.

Why bother when he already buys pedigree chum for Gamah?

 

[CorNokZ]

lol! Nice one Vlad

Can you pm me the one with the three cats? I can't remember it..

 

[Ezteq]

rofl nice joke... older than me but nice, i still like the one about the tough mice.