microwaved....instaporage

[TdC]

well, being as I'm a whiny bitch, and my awesome mother -who actually listens instead of telling me to fo- who often provides weird and wonderful solutions to my myriad issues with life...well thanks to her something amazing happened to me this morning (please note I use amazing in the loosest possible sense of the word):


weeks ago I was in deep one of my many (and varied, I must add) rants about how much Holland sucks and why I should go live in Barbados or something, whith this rant's topic being: you can't make proper porage with oats from the NL because it's just not the same as oats in Scotland. For some reason it just turns out slightly different.

anyway, weeks later, my magic mum suddenly turns up with "real scottish" (yeah right, btw) instant microwave porage oats. you can microwave them, son. it will save you time in the mornings!

vowing to myself to throw the heinous box away when I got home I didn't, and this morning I tried them out. firstly...they exploded in my microwave. the unit's insides now looks like something I imagine only Trem could get away with. secondly, either they, or my milk, tastes decidedly dodgy indeed and thirdly, they were lumpy, and everyone knows lumpy porage is not on :/

my mouth now feels strange and tastes funky from merely tasting it before deciding it was not to be. so bad in fact that my morning coffee-laced breath can't disguise it

if I yet live,later on this day I will report back with the status of my mid-day poo :/

 

[Raven]

We ran out of bread the other day and didn't have time to get some from the shop so I ended up taking a bowl of porridge to work with me. It ended up looking like wallpaper paste and tasted like it looked. Microwaves should be for defrosting and defrosting only.

 

[TdC]

blurgh, I agree. the one true way is on the stove, and instant consumption. though back in the day porage drawers existed for the masses. not my yummy cup of tea tbh :/

 

[Ch3tan]

Meh, normal porridge oats, milk, 2 minutes in the microwave, tastes lovely. Depending on how much time I have I either cook oats in the pan or in the microwave. I'd say by your results that you misread the cooking time teedles ;p

 

[old.Tohtori]

Microwave cooking isn't for everyone, ironically takes some skill

I got one magical microwave pot a a present. Raw, straight from bag pasta comes as good as cooking it in mere minutes. Raw taters the same, just put them in, 2 min nuke and done. It's black magic i tell ya.

 

[Jiggs]

Stick with mannagryn bra.

 

[Thadius]

I love microwaves!

Scrambled eggs, Rustlers meatball bagettes and packets of noodles are what I live on!

 

[MYstIC G]

Another proof of the equation

TdC = fail

 

[TdC]

Meh, normal porridge oats, milk, 2 minutes in the microwave, tastes lovely. Depending on how much time I have I either cook oats in the pan or in the microwave. I'd say by your results that you misread the cooking time teedles ;p

dude, it said 2 mins at 650W, then stir, then another minute. it was early morning, but not that early

 

[MYstIC G]

But early enough for you to do it on 850 instead.

 

[TdC]

nein! my machine starts at 900, and the next possible selection is...650. and I did select that very setting

 

[Dark Orb Choir]

the only porridge is Scotts.............





readybrek sucks dogs, although the adverts were good, with the orange glow........

 

[Raven]

Morrisons, 2kg for about £2. Winner.

 

[Trem]

My boy loves microwave porridge but he hates lumps, so my chunky DutchJockTard here is the secret. Put less milk in than it suggests, cook for the required time and then remove, what you then have to do is tip (we use cold so the porridge doesn't melt my lads face) milk into it and stir furiously, that way you get rid of the lumps. Obviously use hot milk if you like it mega hot.

Tomorrow I shall teach you how to tie your shoe laces, bloody useless foreigners

 

[mycenae]

eating porridge is akin to eating a cross between tapioca and wall paper paste. Its gross.

 

[`mongoose]

My advice on porridge is simple...

Cook it as you like.

Serve with a teaspoon/tablespoon of golden syryp.

Enjoy!

D

 

[cHodAX]

the only porridge is Scotts.............

View attachment 5301



readybrek sucks dogs, although the adverts were good, with the orange glow........

Mornflake >>> than Scotts

 

[cHodAX]

eating porridge is akin to eating a cross between tapioca and wall paper paste. Its gross.

Not if done properly and a little maple syrup stirred in for good measure.

 

[Raven]

A small amount of cinnamon and a couple of tea spoons of brown sugar or a couple of table spoons of honey for me. Either with a pinch of course sea salt.

Love the stuff

 

[TdC]

eating porridge is akin to eating a cross between tapioca and wall paper paste. Its gross.

quiet woman, men are talking!

 

[mycenae]

SHAN'T Its minging, no matter how you eat it. My grandad used to have it with salt and a dash of Maggie (liquid seasoning, bit like Worcester sauce)

 

[Madmaxx]

I like jam in my porridge but its been years since ive had it, might give it a go tomorow

 

[TdC]

SHAN'T Its minging, no matter how you eat it. My grandad used to have it with salt and a dash of Maggie (liquid seasoning, bit like Worcester sauce)

ooh was he a sailor? they have their coffee with salt too I hear o0

 

[cHodAX]

ooh was he a sailor? they have their coffee with salt too I hear o0

I heard sailors like salty seamen as well.

 

[TdC]

they take them atop the foamy wave so I hear!

 

[Roo Stercogburn]

Oats should only be used to make flapjacks.

Anything else is an excercise in culinary pain.

 

[Jupitus]

Oatcakes and cheese are nice

 

[mycenae]

oatcakes and cheese with jam is even nicer

 

[tris-]

if you cant even microwave porridge correctly im suprised youre still alive.

for everyones safety, you should remain at least 500 miles from a parmo at all times.

 

[TdC]

mmm parmo. indigenous food of the Dutch! Stolen from it's homeland by Geordies!