Men vs Women

[Chronictank]

My amusing e-mail of today is...
wasnt really rofl material but made me giggle

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:



1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want

5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = You're in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = You better not

8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!

10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?



MEN'S ENGLISH:



1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = Let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.

11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

 

[Ezteq]

hehhe very chucklesome, can i add a few from my own vocab?:



oh alright- aw fgs no

if you want to- i dont want to

no- can mean no, yes or maybe dependant on situation.

oh you dont have to- you dont have to but i'd really like it if you did.

you shouldnt have- yus! have 10 brownie points and a cookie!

do i look ok?- tell me i look nice pleasepleasepleaseplease....ahhhhhhhhh ty


and ofc this old timeless classic:



*splutter* errk!!!- wrong one!! wrong one for the love of god pull out!!!!

 

[Lamp]

Made me chuckle

Mens Rules No. 13 : "Mauve is not a colour. Men think in Windows98"

 

[Chronictank]

*splutter* errk!!!- wrong one!! wrong one for the love of god pull out!!!!

lol :worthy:

 

[[SS]Gamblor]

*splutter* errk!!!- wrong one!! wrong one for the love of god pull out!!!!

:worthy:


Still it is funny when it does happen , well speaking from a Male point of view

 

[Haggus]

*splutter* errk!!!- wrong one!! wrong one for the love of god pull out!!!!

Not happened to me once yet ! w00t *looks for epeen emote* !

 

[Ezteq]

:worthy:


Still it is funny when it does happen , well speaking from a Male point of view

flippin pain in the arse from the gals point of view tbh.

 

[Chronictank]

dear o dear Ez
ow well bunny time

<jigs to mc hammer>
doo doo doo doo

 

[Ezteq]

dear o dear Ez
ow well bunny time

<jigs to mc hammer>
doo doo doo doo

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww i wub bunnies!!!!!!!!!!!!

is that yours?

whats his name?

can i have it pleasepleaseplease?

 

[Bahumat]

Men vs Women pfft its irrelevent in the grand schemes of things

Hoff's language
Yes = I would kill to make you happy
No = i've brought shame and dishonor to myself and my family, i will now staple my ass shut
she's hot =

 

[Outlander]

*splutter* errk!!!- wrong one!! wrong one for the love of god pull out!!!!

yea yea, bet youve never said that

 

[old.Tohtori]

yea yea, bet youve never said that

She didn't last night atleast

 

[Chronictank]

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww i wub bunnies!!!!!!!!!!!!

is that yours?

whats his name?

can i have it pleasepleaseplease?

fraid not its googled
had a rabbit once, my god they can sh**
i mean how does so much come out of something so ickle

i wont give you to site where i nabbed it from as it is genuinly disturbing, some yank is threatening to eat it unless he sells his book. he posted the link all over the place
Extract from the site:
"I don’t want to eat Toby, he is my friend, and he has always been the most loving, adorable pet. However, God as my witness, I will devour this little guy unless I sell 100,00 copies of my book, Save Toby"

 

[Blackjack]

For men there is no such thing as tertiary colours.

there is black, white, red, yellow, blue, green, orange, purple. calling colours any other names is just making things up!

man who has been with 200 women = Stud
woman who has been with 200 men = Slut

most woman can handle dirty talk e.g; fuck you, you little slut!
most men can't e.g; Not impressed.. pencil dick!

women want to cuddle after sex
men want beer, food, sports or sleep.

Men like terminator and rambo movies
woman like "Bennifer" movies

men make lots of little lies; yeah, sure i went to work. relax i remembered to water the plants.
women save up for the big ones; it's your baby!

 

[Ezteq]

/cuckle black!

aww the save tobey thingy, man i hate that its horrible, when im in the supermarket i have to close my eyes when we walk past the frozen rabbit stew bit.. seriously (i have a thing about eating stuff that ive had as a pet.. bf keeps threatening to buy me a pet cow, there goes burgerking!), and rabbit poop is cool (same with guinea pigs) you just sweep it on up, if a cat or dog poo's on your persian rug you've got major problems though lol.

yay for pellets!!

 

[Thorwyn]

I just read this "old news" today... pretty interesting
(source: Neue Zuericher Zeitung (swiss newspaper))

The swiss government recently increased the legal blood alcohol limit from formerly 0,5%o back top 0,8%o. The reason was, that the police noticed a significant increase of severe car accidents after lowering the limit to 0,5%o, especially in the late night hours and over the weekend. According to the observations of the police, this happened because the drunk swiss men sitting in the pubs didn´t drive home by themselves anymore. Instead, many of them called their wifes, asking them to pick them up and drive them home.



Don´t tar and feather me.. I´m just the bringer of the news!