Love without actually Loving?

[Calaen]

I am looking for some views on a very strange situation I find myself in. I am shit at writing my feeling so please before anyone goes off ask me if something sounds bizzare because I have probably got it down wrong

I am coming up to 2 years married this June with my wife, we are also expecting our first child in July. I cannot wait for the baby and I love my wife so much.

This is where I am struggling, I have a lot of respect for one of my sisters close friends, she has brought up a child on her own for 7 years (very well I might add). Her son is has been educated treat people with respect. Now I myself was brought up by my mother and I consider myself to be a success of my mothers guidance.

I discovered yesterday that this woman is moving to Liverpool in 6 weeks, I am shocked and I cannot stop thinking about her. I consider myself her friend someone she would snuggle up to on a sofa while watching a movie (this has not happened) but we are close when we are together I think she knows I respect her for what she has done and I believe she deserves a good man.

So are my feelings/emotions because I am worried for her or something else?

I am not about to leave my wife or even considering it, I am just alittle confused.

anyway i have just read it back and it has confused me

 

[Chronictank]

question is do you care about her in the same/similar way to your sister, or is it more than that?

 

[Sparx]

Sounds to me mate you care for her very much as a close friend, and will miss her and worry about her because of the friendship. Alot of people make teh mistake of thinking because you really care for them it must mean you have "those" feelings. Thats not always the case

If you did have "those" feelings then you would know about it and so would your wife.

 

[old.Tohtori]

So you love her as a friend, nothing confusing there.

You'll miss her, miss the times together, miss the fun and so forth.

Only natural.

I love one of my friends probably more then i'd love a future missus Seel in a while, but hell bells if it turned into something "close".

 

[Calaen]

question is do you care about her in the same/similar way to your sister, or is it more than that?

Sounds strange but more, I am sure it is because of the respect I have for the life she is giving her son, it makes me feel very proud.

My problem is honesty I am struggling to avoid telling the wife why I am feeling alittle down.

 

[Chronictank]

Sounds strange but more, I am sure it is because of the respect I have for the life she is giving her son, it makes me feel very proud.

gota agree with the people above, doesn't really sound like the "cheat on your wife" type of love tbh

She is your close mate and she is leaving, your going to miss her is all really

argh i feel dirty, 2 posts in a serious thread without so much as a witty remark

 

[Calaen]

gota agree with the people above, doesn't really sound like the "cheat on your wife" type of love tbh

She is your close mate and she is leaving, your going to miss her is all really

argh i feel dirty, 2 posts in a serious thread without so much as a witty remark

lol plenty of time and people to post yet mate

I would never, be to blame for leaving my wife. I grew up in a 1 parent family and I promised myself that I would be around for my children everyday and give them what I never had. Of course people fall out of love and I would not stay together for the sake of it, but I would not force anything to make that happen.

 

[Ezteq]

dude theres nothing to worry about here, like seel said you do love her but there are different types of love, i mean i love my guinea pigs but... well you know what i mean lol you can love someone in a warm fuzzy way without it being sexual.

Don't feel like your betraying your wife or doing anything wrong because your not the fact that you can care about other people and still love your wife so much shouts in your favour, its a good thing, don't over think it, don't obsess or worry about it. It is what it is just let it be and don't make more (or less for that matter) of stuff than it is.

 

[old.Tohtori]

argh i feel dirty, 2 posts in a serious thread without so much as a witty remark

I guess i should then...

*cough*

Ahem.

Hey Calaen! Why dont'ya just tap her and get it over with!

Hell, bring yer wife, she might be into a triplethreatmatch!

 

[Raven]

It happens when you are in a long term relationship, anyone who says you cannot love more than one person is talking shit, i fell for someone in a huge way about 3 years ago and still feel the same about her now...i thought moving away would help but it doesn't. I still think about her all the time. She felt the same but we both agreed not to do anything about it. I am still happily married (though ups and downs like most relationships) Its a hard thing to say goodbye but its probably for the best.

 

[Huntingtons]

(though ups and downs like most relationships)

you're probably most down since you can get it up!

look 1 post in a serious thread and 1 witty remark

me > chronic

 

[Calaen]

oh its Huntingtons

on a side note I approached the subject with my wife tonight when I first mentioned her she made a sarcy comment, but then I explained to her the way I feel. I told my wife I am concerned for her and that I want her to know that if it goes wrong and she needs help getting back or whatever I want her to call me.

I think people are to easy to forget friends nowadays, I consider myself to be a kind and caring person for people I feel deserve it. I guess it really boils down to me missing her. It must be nice for her to know that she has a friend like me that does not want to jump in the sack with her and actually cares about her as a person.

Raven I do agree mate, I still think about my last love :-( I always thought she was my soul mate.

 

[crispy]

It happens when you are in a long term relationship, anyone who says you cannot love more than one person is talking shit, i fell for someone in a huge way about 3 years ago and still feel the same about her now...i thought moving away would help but it doesn't. I still think about her all the time. She felt the same but we both agreed not to do anything about it. I am still happily married (though ups and downs like most relationships) Its a hard thing to say goodbye but its probably for the best.

God forbid monogamy!