Rant Little Bastards!

Trem

Not as old as he claims to be!
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So this summer I have been doing my bedroom and drive (as you may know). Doing my drive means we can't park our cars in the drive so we park on the road, me under the tree and Samm behind me.

I went out to my car yesterday morning with my son to take him nursery, I belted him in then got in myself. I could not fucking believe what I saw, I could barely see out the front window because of bird shit, I mean it was like a comedy sketch type amount of bird shit. Clearly they aren't happy I have ignored them this year. 47 of them must of stood on each others heads and launched their bombs at the same time it was so accurately placed.

I put my wipers on to shift some of it so I could see to drive and it just smeared all over, so I drove my son to nursery like looking through fog, green slimey fog.

Got out the car at nursery and noticed the shit was pretty much covering the passenger side of my car, seriously you could barely see any of the colour because of turd.

So later that day I stopped at Homebase to buy a windscreen scraper or something but they didn't have any, I wanted to shift the worst of it before I went a car wash but that wasn't to be.

So I drive around the corner to the hand car wash type thing, as I drove up past the car wash all the lads who work there just stopped what they were doing and looked at my car and laughed, oh how they stopped laughing when I pulled in, you just know they were thinking "I hope he isn't coming here".

It took the guy 15 minutes just with the jet wash to shift the crap, I just sat inside chuckling to myself, "laugh now fucko" I thought.

So as from today my attentions will be turned to bothering birds again, they want war they got it.
 

rynnor

Rockhound
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Cut the tree down - they obviously roost in it and birds crap a lot!
 

TdC

Trem's hunky sex love muffin
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you parked under a tree? my god Trem you're such a noob. my sympathy for you went completely down the drain when I read that. clearly 1:0 to the birds. deserved win imo :p
 

Trem

Not as old as he claims to be!
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you parked under a tree? my god Trem you're such a noob. my sympathy for you went completely down the drain when I read that. clearly 1:0 to the birds. deserved win imo :p


I have parked under that tree many times.....MANY TIMES!! and never witnessed this :eek:
 

TdC

Trem's hunky sex love muffin
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It just struck me that maybe it's the stuff that Samm's been putting in the bird feeder that has them pooping like mad though? Next time get her to clean your windscreen and she will come to understand that feeding birds just isn't cricket.
 

rynnor

Rockhound
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Are there trees with berry's on in your neighbourhood at the moment - that always makes it a thousand times worse!
 

bob269

Fledgling Freddie
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May 4, 2004
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Did it look like this ?

Bird_Destroyed_Car.jpg
 

Nate

FH is my second home
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Mar 13, 2004
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Bring on the waaagh! :D Can't wait to see what shenanigans you get up to this time!
 

Malecheon

Fledgling Freddie
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Mar 28, 2007
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War, huh, yeah
What is Trem good for
Absolutely nothing
Say it again, y'all

:p


P.S. trem is actually good for starting comedy threads like this :D
 

Nate

FH is my second home
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I wonder if any local newspaper follows trem around.
 

Tom

I am a FH squatter
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Dec 22, 2003
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Just to be boring, bird shit has a rather serious effect on modern water-based paintwork.

Expect to be cursing the patchwork quilt of colour on your car soon.
 

ECA

I am a FH squatter
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Dec 23, 2003
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I wonder if any local newspaper follows trem around.

He could be the Howard Beale of Rochester!*





















* I dont know where trem lives, but Rochester sounded most amusing to me.
 

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