Life would be better...

[Shagrat]

Life would be better if it was like a porn movie because........


the plumber always turns up on time.

 

[kiliarien]

Life would be better if it was like a porn movie because........


the plumber always turns up on time.

Lol - I want some realism and in-trade dirty talk, during the sex I want to hear him say "I'm Gas Safe registered you know" but it would probably be a turn off....unless there's a niche market for it.

 

[Thadius]

Life would be better if it was like a Hollywood action movie because........




when you get jumped by 3+ guys, you know you will always win

 

[leviathane]

Only if your considered the good guy. Then you're pretty much invincible.

 

[Gwadien]

Life would be better if it was like a Hollywood action movie because........




when you get jumped by 3+ guys, you know you will always win

Difference is the 3+ guys in hollywood movies dont wear fake g-star jeans + burberry cap + reebok classics.

 

[Ezteq]

one thing that'd be better is your hip wouldnt lock out in the middle of an 'athletic' manouvre and make that aweful crunching/popping noise...that never seems to happen in porn

 

[georgie]

You speaking from experience there, Ez?

 

[Ezteq]

yes Georgie, yes I am.

 

[ECA]

Pizza delivery workers would

A) Get the order wrong everytime
B) Have sex 5 times a night.

 

[Shagrat]

where do they get those pizza's with the hole in the middle from?

 

[mooSe_]

where do they get those pizza's with the hole in the middle from?

you can get 'em from my local sainsburys (no joke)

 

[TdC]

Life would be better if it was like a porn movie because.......

I'd come home tired from work, surprise my gf with her sister and their shared lesbian lover and suddenly be involved in a foursome rather than an argument. And pizza, there's always pizza!

 

[CorNokZ]

If life was like porn, my irl name would be Max Hardcore

 

[Huntingtons]

and you would have a penis.

 

[CorNokZ]

and thirteen balls in my enormous ballbag

 

[cHodAX]

Lol - I want some realism and in-trade dirty talk, during the sex I want to hear him say "I'm Gas Safe registered you know" but it would probably be a turn off....unless there's a niche market for it.

Pfft, Corgi was such a better name

 

[cHodAX]

one thing that'd be better is your hip wouldnt lock out in the middle of an 'athletic' manouvre and make that aweful crunching/popping noise...that never seems to happen in porn

Less kinky handstand sex tbh!

 

[Ezteq]

aye mate, thats what i said once i'd undislocated various appendages Oo

 

[Olgaline]

Life would be better if it was like a comedy,
because you'll know that the firing squad will be armed with

Spoiler

 

[Sparx]

Life would be better if it was like a comedy,
because you'll know that the firing squad will be armed with

Spoiler

And all the gangsters would be children

 

[TheBinarySurfer]

Difference is the 3+ guys in hollywood movies dont wear fake g-star jeans + burberry cap + reebok classics.

The fledgling chav, while dangerous to it's prey in large numbers is quite cowardly and will often run away at the sight of their pack-mate's blood.

Their distinctive cry "Yer wha?!" is often heard echoing over the rooftops of town centres around the world. The Chav is mainly nocturnal, rarely rising before noon and often taking several hours to select it's day-glo and Burberry wardrobe and settle down to feed on cold pizza, stale stell artois and jeremy kyle.

The male and female chav will often engage in a courtship ritual known as "12 pints of Stella and a shag over a bin" often followed by longer-term bonding frequently known as "calling the police after a screaming row followed by a few punches.

This species is flourishing all over the country due to the nurturing environment provided by prey, the liberal working-class and the abundance of it's food source, the dole.

 

[TheBinarySurfer]

aye mate, thats what i said once i'd undislocated various appendages Oo

I recall a mate of mine, 10+ years ago was having sex in his car while driving down an empty dual carrigeway. As luck would have it, one of wheels actually came off mid-flow resulting in a dislocated cock due to her violent movement.

 

[Vasconcelos]

If life was like porn, my irl name would be Max Hardcore

Mine would be Lester The Molester

 

[soze]

Life should be like a RomCom because then my slightly awkward looking first girlfriend would have done her hair different and looked like Jessica Alba.

 

[CorNokZ]

Mine would be Lester The Molester

And Ez would be Bridget the Midget :wub: