Let's start a FHOT religion.

[old.Tohtori]

Since all of the religions in the world seem a bit "off" to most, let's gather up notions, ideas and other such elements to form the FHOT "religion"(do not get hung up on the term).

Try to be serious about it too, makes it more fun if you actually post things that would seem like good ideas/guidelines.

So basically what we're looking for here are short or long ideas, such as;

Turn the other cheek.

Good notion i believe, to not get angry and retaliate.

or

Sundays should always be used for relaxation and all work should be put aside. If working on sunday, some other day should be taken aside for this purpose. No more then 6 days should be in between these days of relaxation.

Main point here is that i'm interested in seeing what people find as "good teachings" and what people here would put in their religion.

 

[TdC]

ooh ooh anyone who's forum name contains a "t", a "d" and a "c" gets a free hareem of young, nubile, willing laydeez to do his every bidding!!!!

 

[Thorwyn]

Can I request a name change to Thordwync?

Please?

 

[Calo]

I can be your religion terrorist if you want!

 

[Jiggs]

Since the ranks of the Seelists are growing (from 0 to 1 in one day!) i have decided to take a few moments to actually tell you what the religion is all about. It's a small religion, members currently(active) is limited to 1. That being me but still we have a lot of fun at the meetings. Now it might not be like the christianity but we have strong beliefs still.

Seelism is a state of mindlesness. Thinking is a rare feature in the ranks of Teh Seelists. Some pursue the path of thinking but usually these enlighted ones turn away from the true path of senseless babble. Now here's some of the basic rules and beliefs of our religion. I will not numerize them because Teh Inner of Teh Seel(TITS) does not believe in numerical lockering. This is rude and rasict towards the bigger numbers, such as two million and 73.

Seel is the only way to live, there is no other way, do not even look. Really. No other religions. Nope. Nada.

Eat if you wish and drink if you must but remember the sacred day of Teh Icefloat.(later explained)

There is no taxes that you must pay but a weekly donut must be eaten to honor the past souls of the Great Dolphin. (later explained)

Sleep is a holy event and should not be interrupted by any means. The most sacrelisious act one can perform on another Seelist or any human being(or alien) is to wake them up from their divine slumber.

At no point, and i do mean, -no- point in life should any Seelist but work ahead of relaxation. Work is sometimes necessary but only in extreme situations where, for example, The Holy Television has nothing important to teach you or Teh Shrine of Computer has lost it's ability to consult the Spirits of Teh Inturnet.

Games have reached almost a god like stature in the ranks of the Seelists. They are sacred and can only be interrupted by the Divine Slumber.

Now let me explain the two most important days in the life of a Seelist.

The Sacred Day of Teh Icefloat. An ancient tale tells of the first Seelist appearing one day to humanity with the help of an icefloat. This has been marked as the birth of Seelism and one should always, whenever possible, remember this day and eat icecream and drink cold beverages. When a Seelist reaches old age, they will, on the Sacred Day of Teh Icefloat go on a pilgramage, sit down on to an icefloat and drift into the seas of the world. This is an honor that very few are bestoved upon.

The eating of the donut to honor the Past Souls of the Great Dolphin. This is, as an act, a simple one. Weekly, one must consume a donut(any donut except a plain one) to honor the Great Dolphin. The Great Dolphin was a master in Seelism an considered the right hand of the First and Ancient Seelist. The Great Dolphin became to such divine stature simply by being in a total state of mindlesness for long periods in time, possibly forever and as a result the Great Dolphin died several times. This is why a Seelist honors the past souls and not just one. The Great Dolphin emerged from the sea several times a year, landed on a beach and uttered words that made no sense to the common man and then died, releasing another soul to the Eternal Slumber. Soon the Great Dolphin had reached the Eternal Slumber so many times that noone could even keep count, not even the Great Dolphin. Even to this day, the Great Dolphin has been seen around the world, shoring to a beach, babble something unbelievably silly and then die and vanish into the Eternal Slumber. This is why we honor this holy being.

This is the basics of Seelism. There are alot of other things a Seelist will learn on the path to Complete Mindlesness and Eternal Slumber. Thank you for your interest and the time you have knowingly wasted to learn of our way.

Plus ça change.

 

[old.Tohtori]

Where the -hell- did you find that

 

[Aoami]

the bible is full of good teachings if you take god out of it

 

[Cyradix]

ooh ooh anyone who's forum name contains a "t", a "d" and a "c" gets a free hareem of young, nubile, willing laydeez to do his every bidding!!!!

I hereby apply for the job of Hareem Quality Inspector!

 

[Cerb]

I have no problem with spirituality, I just have a problem with Organised religon so I dont know that its the best idea....

 

[Gwadien]

You have to have more than 6 wives at the age of 16
If you don't have sex before you're 10, you get shot
Your toe next to your big toe has to the bigger than your big toe
You have to be able to move your ears witohut touching them
You have to have a name that does not include any vowels

There's my input.

 

[TdC]

I hereby apply for the job of Hareem Quality Inspector!

you're hired!


you *are* aware that you have to be made a eunuch...aren't you?


never mind, we'll burn the hole closed after we lop the danglies off. there's only a minor chance of infection and death, nothing to trouble yourself too much about

 

[MYstIC G]

Well if it's a religion you're starting, 07/11/2004 puts me in poll position to be Satan.

 

[Lamp]

Try to be serious about it too

on FHOT ?

 

[Shagrat]

i'll be treasurer

muhaha

 

[Imgormiel]

ooh ooh anyone who's forum name contains a "t", a "d" and a "c" gets a free hareem of young, nubile, willing laydeez to do his every bidding!!!!

You omitted the lesbian factor - how dare you!

 

[Lamp]

not enough ecclesiastical pron on TV

 

[TdC]

You omitted the lesbian factor - how dare you!

you're right, I'm so sorry! who am I to deny the lez and bi their sweet carpet munching love


amendment: he *or* she will have his *or* her hareem of willing and nubile young wimmins, etcetera etcetera

 

[CorNokZ]

Gamah for God

 

[Jiggs]

It is written that one day The Fonz will come back to OT and lead us out of the darkness and into the light...

 

[Killswitch]

A good start would be to take over some old churches, throw out all the crucifixes and pictures of famous historical celebrities (Jesus and his pals) and replace them all with Ezteq thong pics.

Or we could just crucify Cornokz and go from there...

 

[CorNokZ]

Or we could just crucify Cornokz and go from there...

edit. Or does that mean you would all praise me and call me your saviour?

 

[Olgaline]

a yes, we must please the pagan god of trolls Dorimorficus
CornZoks shall be Farmed on the great feilds of Thidranki

 

[Cemeterygates]

A good start would be to take over some old churches, throw out all the crucifixes and pictures of famous historical celebrities (Jesus and his pals) and replace them all with Ezteq thong pics.

Or we could just crucify Cornokz and go from there...

"Do you accept CorkBallz as your lord and savior?!"