Joke

Tisme

Loyal Freddie
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
252
Smart Diagnosis Machine

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.

Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better
 

Sissyfoo

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
2,814
Heh heh! :D I'll never trust a urine sampling machine again. :/
 

k9awya

Can't get enough of FH
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
1,416
PLEASE GO AWAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY 40 YEAR OLD

*smites thee*
 

stubbyrulz

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Dec 23, 2003
Messages
597
that wasent that bad but i think tisme should try and right one herself rather than just steeling other people's
 

Tisme

Loyal Freddie
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
252
k9awya said:
i aint little. i could beat you up irl.
oooooo big talk lol ur still little to me :touch: and threatening a female makes u even smaller imho tbh
 

ST^

Part of the furniture
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
2,351
hmm I think my browser is bugged.. cant see the punchline
 

Bellona

Banned
Joined
Jan 12, 2004
Messages
1,105
mighty fine joke :D

and Ill bring popcorn for the Final Showdown!

Tisme vs k9awya

:clap:


k9awya, she aint 40 fyi!
 

Tisme

Loyal Freddie
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
252
Bellona said:
mighty fine joke :D

and Ill bring popcorn for the Final Showdown!

Tisme vs k9awya

:clap:


k9awya, she aint 40 fyi!
Thanx Bellona :) My guess is K9 isn't top of his maths class :D
Oh and dont forget to bring him a lollypop
 

Craine

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Jan 27, 2004
Messages
27
k9awya said:
i aint little. i could beat you up irl.
omg ... "my brother is bigger than ur brother, my dad can beat up ur dad" ect. ect. ect....
 

Aoami

I am a FH squatter
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
10,242
ST^ said:
hmm I think my browser is bugged.. cant see the punchline
rofl, that was 9 million times better than the original joke. :D
 

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