I've been on Facebook

Job

The Carl Pilkington of Freddyshouse
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Dec 22, 2003
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And you lot are the most intelligent, cultured, insightful, world wise
people I know, every one of my wifes mates and their boyfriends and pissheads down the pub are the most moronic dulllards you could ever meet.
The shit they write makes me weep for humanity
'I'm getting pissed in the house before going out'
'Ohh, are you drunk yet?'
Nooo just meeeeeryyy'
'LOL, keep going'
'Ha!' have one for me'
'Will do'
10 people like this

They like it because presumably their own lives are just a pointless abyss
and that conversation was like a little ledge to rest on till they started falling again.
 

Deebs

Chief Arsewipe
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I try and use FB to wind people up and see how many times I can use the word "cnut" on their profile page in one message.
 

Deebs

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Btw once I migrate to XenForo there will be a like system on here... :)
 

Ezteq

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I just updated my FB status to the fact that my sodding frog is trying to escape and is jumping up and headbutting the lid trying to get out and either eat me or embark on world domination...or he heard me invite my neighbour Nicola round and is coming out to woo her (he fancies her).

So tbh compared to me your wifes friends sound pretty normal ^^
 

Shagrat

I am a FH squatter
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yeah but we've known for years that you are a little "odd" Ez.

your like the mad old aunt we all keep in the attic :)
 

Deebs

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yeah but we've known for years that you are a little "odd" Ez.

your like the mad old aunt we all keep in the attic :)

To be fair I wouldn't keep her in the same living space as me, the shed would be a better bet.
 

Ezteq

Queen of OT
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*knits a baseball bat and smacks cheeky young upstarts round the head with it*

oi, eff orf!
 

Deebs

Chief Arsewipe
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*knits a baseball bat and smacks cheeky young upstarts round the head with it*

oi, eff orf!

Good for you Ezteq, hit those younguns hard!
 

ECA

I am a FH squatter
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Yes facebook updates are for *****, they are gradually replacing soaps in filling peoples lives with pointless shit.
 

Aoami

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facebook for me is basically the random spam thread with a wider audience
 

Punishment

Resident Freddy
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Y-U-NO-TAKE-FLAMEBAIT-.jpg


FER TEH RANDOM LULZ
 

old.Tohtori

FH is my second home
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Jan 23, 2004
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Never touched it, never will. Used to be out of principle, now-a-days out of sanity for self :p
 

Influenza

Part of the furniture
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I mostly have old school mates on mine and luckily they dont post everytime they go for a dump or the baby sneezes.
 

Job

The Carl Pilkington of Freddyshouse
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Ha yes, all my old school mates either don't use it or set it up and never post.
 

Everz

FH is my second home
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Like Aoam said.. it's the wider audience for the random spam thread, and to gather picture of nightouts to say 'i have a better social life then you'.
 

old.user4556

Has a sexy sister. I am also a Bodhi wannabee.
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Don't get me started on Facebook and Facebook status updates.

I posted a thread about it in General a while ago; nothing gets on my fucking tits more than Facebook status updates. Some of my 'mates' are quite witty and amusing, and it can be quite funny to see some of the deliberate shit they update their statuses with. However, it's mostly used (and sorry, it is mostly women who do it) as an attention seeking mechanism or bragging mechanism along the lines of:

Person 1: "I hate my life"
Person 2: "Aww you ok hun?? LOLZ? Wanna tlk bout it?"
Person 1: "No it's ok, I'll be ok"
Person 3: Likes this

WHY FUCKING ADVERTISE IT ON FACEBOOK?

Then there is social climber / Facebragger:

"I'm happy to report that I got a massive wage rise"

or:

"I Just saw Sienna Miller at Lakeside"

or:

"I just got mistaken for <insert someone favour>" ........ "10 people like this"

or:

"Wow, what to do with my gigantic bonus? Maybe NY, maybe LA - was in NY for a week last year hanging with my shit yo, NYC is just so lame now"

Get fucked.

I'm all for people doing well for themselves, but advertising it on Facebook is vulgar and belittling to those that aren't so fortunate.

I had a "friend" clear-out a few weeks ago, mostly people from high school that were being nosy and that I had no intention of speaking to ever again. One of them, clearly a man-hater, updated her status with the most banal and weird 'I've just been dumped' status updates:

"One day you'll come back to me, and when you do, I'll have moved on and be living a wonderful life without you"

or:

"If you truly love someone, set them free, if they come back to you, they're yours" .. or some fucking twaddle.

No fucking wonder he got rid of you.

I could go on and on and on......
 

old.user4556

Has a sexy sister. I am also a Bodhi wannabee.
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Like Aoam said.. it's the wider audience for the random spam thread, and to gather picture of nightouts to say 'i have a better social life then you'.

Yes indeed :), I've noticed that you can tag people inside an update (not sure how, by using '@' infront of someone's name I think) which provides an instant slap in the face to those not invited:

"Person X just had an awesome night out with Person 1, Person 2, Person 3 and Person 4 - totally AWESOME LOLZ OK GG!!!, totally love you guys heheh, cocktails were awesome and the TUNAGE WAS SO KK LOLZ!"

<insert 60 tagged pictures of an empty dancefloor with five people on it including some self takers in the toilet>
 

Job

The Carl Pilkington of Freddyshouse
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I just don't understand Facebook, the wife thinks it's just fine, but it always confuses me, it seems so un intuitive, nothing is where I expect it to be
and I post things and they seem to piss off somewhere else.

I tried setting up my wifes running group page and ended up telling her to fucking do it herself.
I cant fathom it, she's freakin clueless with everything and I have to rescue her with ease from every situation on the planet, but she whizzes around Facebook
with ease and I spend hours trying to do the simplest thing.
 

old.user4556

Has a sexy sister. I am also a Bodhi wannabee.
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Any woman will become an expert of a gossip tool.
 

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