It's good to be a man!

T

Twiz

Guest
Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

You don't have to shave below your neck.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be president.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You don't give a rat's butt if someone doesn't notice your new haircut.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too
icky looking.

Same work... more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.

Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You can leave the motel bed unmade.

You can kill your own food.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

Your underwear is $6.95 for a three-pack.

If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.

You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever
thinking? "He must be mad at me."

You don't mooch off other's desserts.

You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

You can "do" your nails with a pocket-knife or your teeth.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December
24th, in 45 minutes.


-T
 
S

Sigurd

Guest
Why is this american? Are you american? If you're american, go away...
 
H

hint

Guest
rofl nice i like it.



and sig you are a freak. so what if he is american? and why does copying and pasteing an american list make you american?
 
B

Brannor McThife

Guest
Originally posted by Sigurd
Why is this american? Are you american? If you're american, go away...
Click to expand...
He's not American you git. Sheesh, did you leave your brain behind when you came back to Midgard? Good grief, Twiz, the first ever GM handled wedding in the game.

<mumbles something about Bongos> No, not the minstrel...ANOTHER Bongos.

<snickers>

Trust me Siggy, he ain't no 'merican, ok?

:p

-G
 
M

Madonion Slicer

Guest
he he very funny

Check these out

Men's Rules

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
> down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
> you leaving it down.
>
> 2. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
>
> 3. Saturday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
> tides. Let it be.
>
> 4. Don't cut your hair - ever. Long hair is always more attractive than
> short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that
> married women always cut their hair.
>
> 5. Crying is blackmail.
>
> 6. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do
> not work! Strong hints Do Not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say
> it!
>
> 7. We don't remember dates. Mark anniversaries on a calendar. Remind
> us frequently beforehand.
>
> 8. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd
> be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with
> your dress?
>
> 9. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
> question.
>
> 10. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
> what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>
> 11. Check your oil! Please.
>
> 12. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
> fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
>
> 13. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse
> to answer.
>
> 14. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
> ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
>
> 15. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
> done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
> yourself.
>
> 16. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
> commercials.
>
>
> 17. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
>
> 18. Men see in only 16 colours, like the Windows default settings.
> Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. We have no idea what mauve
> is.
>
> 19. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
>
> 20. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of
> mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
>
> 21. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
> nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
> hassle.
>
> 22. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to - expect an answer
> you don't want to hear.
>
> 23. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
> Really!
>
> 24. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
> discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, fishing, or
> monster trucks.
>
> 25. You have enough clothes.
>
> 26. You have too many shoes. NO! No, you really do have too many shoes.
>
> 27. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz
> together. And, no, it doesn't matter which quiz.
>
> 28. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
>
> 29. I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
>
> 30. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
> that way.
 
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