Is this good english?

[Storankan]

I work at an IT department and English is the official company language since it is a multi-national company.

This message was sent to all users on the network. English is not my first language but I have read quite a bit English and this doesn't sound like good English to me.

Your PC is now being updated with Office 2003 Hotfix KB899340.
This update will take about 5 minutes.

To avoid you loosing any unsaved work please do the following:

- Please Close down ALL your open applications.
- Wait for the Office 2003 Hotfix Update message to disappear.

- You don't have to Restart or Logoff, when the update is finish.
- You can start to work right away.

If you have any questions please call your local Service Desk.

Thank you for your patience
xxxxxxxxxxxxx

The sentence I find most disturbing is "To avoid you loosing...". It just doesn't sound right. If it was Swedish, I would say it's wrong because the sentence says "avoid you" and not "avoid loosing". Any comments?

 

[Bluevixen]

imo as an English person you are correct, it should be 'To avoid loosing....'

 

[Kami]

It is a little muddled for a message that should be clear, possibly written in a rush though

I'd have said:
=============
Your computer is now applying a Microsoft Office update, this process will take approximately 5 minutes.

Whilst this update is being applied please quit any and all open applications and wait patiently for the update message to disappear.

You may resume work only after this message has cleared, until then please do not use your computer as your data will be at risk.

If you have any queries regarding this please contact your local service desk.

Thank you
=============

There's no need for them to know the KB number, I usually find it best to keep messages short and simple. it avoids confusion and in some case - downright panic

"to avoid you losing" sounds like a rushed phrase to me

 

[Thorwyn]

um... errr.....

losing, not loosing, innit?

 

[Kami]

yeah I think so Thorwyn

I'd go to www.dictionary.com but I'm too lazy today

 

[Bahumat]

You don't have to Restart or Logoff, when the update is finish.

should say

You don't have to Restart or Logoff, when the update is finished.

 

[Mojo]

It made sense to me, i only spotted the errors when people pointed them out. who admits to not actually understanding what was meant anyhow?

 

[Storankan]

Thank you for your comments (so fast too!), it will please me to correct the person responsible.

I agree that the message is understandable, but since this message was sent to a very large number of users, and English is the official language, I think these messages should be written with some sort of effort at good English.

 

[Storankan]

Haha, you're right about "loosing". Loosing means releasing while "losing" means "To be unsuccessful in retaining possession of". They have written that unsaved data may be "let loose" unless they close down all applications.

 

[Alan]

We prefer to just push stuff out without telling the users, then laugh at the helpdesk as they mop up the reboot mess of lost work

 

[Bugz]

LOL.

xxxxxxxx = lots of hugs and kisses xD xD xD

 

[Himse]

You don't have to Restart or Logoff, when the update is finish.

should say

You don't have to Restart or Logoff, when the update is finished.

should actually be

You do not have to Restart or Log off when the update is complete.

 

[Storankan]

We prefer to just push stuff out without telling the users, then laugh at the helpdesk as they mop up the reboot mess of lost work

Helpdesk/servicedesk is what I do.

Didn't think about "finished" but now that you mention it, I guess "is complete" is better. Or is "is finished" completly wrong?

 

[Ctuchik]

You don't have to Restart or Logoff, when the update is finish.

should say

You don't have to Restart or Logoff, when the update is finished.

yeah i found that more wrong then the other

 

[Dakkath]

Personally my take on it would have been something like this...

See if you can work out why I no longer work as a technical support bod and have moved into software development instead

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok, you IT illiterate bunch of useless, pathetic, whiny user scum...

We’re doing a system update on your machines NOW so if you have any unsaved work, hahahahaha you’ve just lost it.

We’d tell you what we’re doing but you’re to thick to understand the explanation. Take it from me that this update will make stuff and things work more harmoniously together.

Just sit back, wait and we’ll tell you when you can go back to screwing up the systems we so painfully configured for you earlier.

Feel free to phone the helpdesk number if you require assistance (but they’re a bunch of idiots and are just as clueless as the rest of you loosers).

Oh by the way, if you happen to loose any data while working on the systems while we’ve expressly told you not to then it’s your own damn fault so don’t come crying to me later on.

You have been warned!!!

Kind Regards,

Mordac, the Preventer of Information Technology

 

[Ezteq]

lol Dak


btw i found this the odd bit ""Thank you for your patience
xxxxxxxxxxxxx"" who the hell signs memos with kisseys???
can just imagine some little fluffy juniour secretary on day release

"now tiffany i want you to take down and distribute a very important memo!"

"yes mister sidebottom, then if im everso good can we make a house for my barbie with an old stationary supply box?"

"err oooooooook"

"Weeeeeeeeeee your the very bestest boss in the whole wide world!"....."xxxxx"

"aw fgs"

 

[Lakashnik]

maybe original post was edited so that we wouldnt see the persons name.

 

[Tasslehoff]

maybe original post was edited so that we wouldnt see the persons name.

Read it like that too

 

[Huntingtons]

It made sense to me, i only spotted the errors when people pointed them out. who admits to not actually understanding what was meant anyhow?

i had no clue, i thought it would update to finnish! ;(

 

[Boni]

The sentence I find most disturbing is "To avoid you loosing...". It just doesn't sound right. If it was Swedish, I would say it's wrong because the sentence says "avoid you" and not "avoid loosing". Any comments?

Its ok english.

You could say "To avoid James losing data, ..."
or "To avoid you losing data, ... "

The 'you' is optional, removing it makes little difference to the sentance, but its presence places a bit of emphasis on the fact that its you that will lose the data if you dont follow instructions.
I guess that bit of emphasis on blame makes more people do the steps...

 

[Hawkwind]

It made sense to me, i only spotted the errors when people pointed them out. who admits to not actually understanding what was meant anyhow?

Agreed, the English was not great but the instructions were clear and concise. Clearly written by engineer.

 

[youngbaba]

It's "Losing" not "Loosing"