Interesting discussion about "casual sex".

[old.Tohtori]

Well, since i've been off the funwagon for ...urgh...two weeks now, i've discussed about sex with various crowds even more. Which is saying alot.

Now an interesting matter came up the other day and i was wondering what others thought, what the law(since we do have legal people, as well as other experts in nuclear physics and medicine in here *heh*) sayes about it and what the overall feelings of people was on the matter.

Example: You have sex with a woman(or a man). Now, just to clarify, sex means doing the nasty, pumping uglies, hiding the salami and all that.

Now, it's all done and you go your separete ways.

You don't see for ages.

6-8 months later the woman comes to you and sayes: "I'm having your baby."

Here comes the discussion topic, which generates rather alot of different opinions: Is the man liable in any way to take part in the childs life, morally or legally, after the fact he was kept in the dark about the whole baby issue for such a long time.

We can even bring it further, what about if the child is allready born? How would the chips fall in that situation?

And from the womans point of view, if you don't tell the man your pregnant, do you have the right to come knocking on his door after you've hidden the baby for a prolonged period of time?

 

[Vladamir]

Condom with casual sex = win

 

[old.Tohtori]

Condom with casual sex = win

*lol* Well d'uh...obviously

And kids, always use protection even if the cheating minx of a woman sayes she's on the pill Just ask Vlad.

 

[Sharma]

If you don't wrap your dick before you play hide the sausage you deserve what's coming to you to be bloody honest.

 

[Vladamir]

If you don't wrap your dick before you play hide the sausage you deserve what's coming to you to be bloody honest.

<o/

 

[Bugz]

ololo sex is stoopid

 

[cHodAX]

If you don't wear your wellies then expect to get shit on your feet, people need to take responsibility for thier actions nuff said.

 

[Congax]

ololo sex is stoopid

You should try 12 y/o girls bugz, they're rather fit.
...

God, I disgust myself.

And rather interesting topic, altho the answer is pretty clear to me tho: both parties were involved in this sexual .. labour, yet the woman seems to have 'forgotten' to mention the fact that she was carrying his baby for a whole 6 months? She can just sod off then,really.

 

[old.Tohtori]

I think congax was the first to really read what it was about

This is what brings the discussion "divider" so to speak.

If it's hidden from you that someone is pregnant, does it change the situation?

 

[Vladamir]

Anyone seen the episode of south park where they teach them sex education?

 

[Ezteq]

afaik yes the man is held responsible because he could/should have used protection (and yes its only 99% that it will stop accedents but thats the way the cookie crumbles) personally i think its a bloody stupid rule, unless a woman is raped she has a choice as to whether or not to have sex and if she gets pregnant she has a choice (no matter how grim it is) as to whether or not to have the baby.

I've seen things on tv where women chase after guys years after theyve had a baby the guy is totally unaware that he's had a kid so he's missed out on seeing it grow up and having a chance to be a dad if he wanted to so he is the injured party and then the woman will sue them for back payments of child support, there was even a case i know of in america where this woman was either going out with or married to a guy she had a baby he raised it for a few years then found out it wasnt his she'd cheated on him and got pregnant so he left her but the law said he still had to be the one to pay child maintanance, now tbh that stinks i know its not the child who should suffer but that poor guy!

beware kids dont go sewing your wild oats!!!

[edit: this is stuff that i have seen/read and not my own personal opinion, i actually think that if a gal gets up the spout she's 100% responsible unless it was rape and if you do get up the spout either tell the guy immeadiately or dont then live with it dont go running to them and ruining their lives because your out of fags and bacardi breezers, no one forces people to have babies]

 

[Azurus]

Couple weeks ago i had a sex with a girl who said she was on the pill which was kinda stupid been regretting it since.

Was a one night thing as well...

 

[Ezteq]

Couple weeks ago i had a sex with a girl who said she was on the pill which was kinda stupid been regretting it since.

Was a one night thing as well...

uh huh and i bet she told you she was definately over 16 too eh

this is it guys dont trust em, dont trust anyone pill it and wrap up like a christmas presant from your nan with 8 layers of tape to be on the safe side.

same goes for girls too tbh if a guy says oh its ok ive had the snip do not trust them!!! some people say they have allergies to using protection if they say that tell them you have the clap, it stops them trying to persuade you in to doing soemthing stupid.

 

[Azurus]

uh huh and i bet she told you she was definately over 16 too eh

this is it guys dont trust em, dont trust anyone pill it and wrap up like a christmas presant from your nan with 8 layers of tape to be on the safe side.

same goes for girls too tbh if a guy says oh its ok ive had the snip do not trust them!!! some people say they have allergies to using protection if they say that tell them you have the clap, it stops them trying to persuade you in to doing soemthing stupid.

Well the thing is....

I live in Durham city so its either students out or like 50 year old women. Im only 17 myself so end up hitting the Students union alot where you often meet *gasp* student girls. Soooo sometimes i tell little white lies like 'im a 21 year old student doing History' when im actually a 17 year old school boy

So its kinda the reverse of what you're saying.

I know, im a bad person.

 

[Congax]

Ezteq knows it all! You wise womanbeast!

 

[old.Tohtori]

Nicely put Eq, and i'm one of the "If you don't let the guy have a say, f*ck off" camp.

Even about abortion. The guy should ALWAYS have a say about a life that was created. Well about to anyway.

If there's no clue to the guy, it should not be his problem.

Sadly, it's not really "equal rights" for men, but if you say that, you're a shovinist(sp?)

 

[Congax]

chauvinist?

 

[Sharma]

Nicely put Eq, and i'm one of the "If you don't let the guy have a say, f*ck off" camp.

Even about abortion. The guy should ALWAYS have a say about a life that was created. Well about to anyway.

If there's no clue to the guy, it should not be his problem.

Sadly, it's not really "equal rights" for men, but if you say that, you're a shovinist(sp?)

And feminists are still campaigning for equal rights! brilliant stuff!

 

[Ezteq]

And feminists are still campaigning for equal rights! brilliant stuff!

*cough* the less said about that bunch of hairy, psychopathic, slack jawed, hypocritical, fanny bashing pains in everyones arses the better imo

either same rules for everyone or not at all you cant be a strong independant self reliant woman one minute then go crying and bitching because you cant cope with a situation and you want special treatment the next

imo all feminists should be lined up and either shot or shagged untill they see how ridiculous they are being, same with any bunch of fanatics tbh but i have a presonal grudge against feminists.... they made me go out to work

 

[Gamah]

Couple weeks ago i had a sex with a girl who said she was on the pill which was kinda stupid been regretting it since.

Was a one night thing as well...

Pill doesn't stop herpies ;/

 

[Javai]

The issue revolves around the rights of three people not two. Our society pushes 'family values' (in the broadest sense) at every opportunity, and as a result not having contact with your parents can be a very hard thing to deal with (I do not believe it is a biological need but rather a psychological one due to the way society is structured).

So the question is as much about a moral responsibility to a life you created than about responsibility (moral or monetary) to the other party involved.

 

[noblok]

First off: I don't support the whole 'one night stand'-thing. I don't strongly condemn it, but I still disagree with it. Anyway, to answer your question;

On responsibility: I believe in shared responsibility. The man, nor the woman should bear the full burden. This means that if the woman keeps the child, the man will have to be a part of the kid's life, at least financially. If he wishes to play more of a role, he should have that option. If they can't be parents as a couple, a juridical procedure should decide who gets the kid.

On abortion: I'm inclined to give the woman more rights in this situation, because she's the one who's having the abortion. If the man would force her to have an abortion, this would be a breach of her moral integrity. If the woman wants an abortion and the man doesn't, the situation is more delicate. I do believe that in this case as well, abortion would be illegitimate though. However, there should be some form of compensation for the woman.

On financial involvement: If the kid isn't aborted, the parent who doesn't raise him/her should financially support the other parent. However, I think this shouldn't be applicable on past time. If the mother decides she doesn't want the father to get involved, asking for financial compensation is out of order. You can't demand financial involvement if you don't allow the option of emotional involvement.

Special cases of financial involvement: If the mother only finds out after a certain period who the father was, it should be possible to demand a compensation for the past years. However, this should be less than the total sum he would've paid in 'normal' alimentation. Financial involvement should also be enforced without giving the option of emotional involvement if this emotional involvement is deemed bad for the kid.

 

[Sharma]

*cough* the less said about that bunch of hairy, psychopathic, slack jawed, hypocritical, fanny bashing pains in everyones arses the better imo

either same rules for everyone or not at all you cant be a strong independant self reliant woman one minute then go crying and bitching because you cant cope with a situation and you want special treatment the next

imo all feminists should be lined up and either shot or shagged untill they see how ridiculous they are being, same with any bunch of fanatics tbh but i have a presonal grudge against feminists.... they made me go out to work

It's off topic, but this is one of the reasons that it's rather disadvantaged position to be a Young White Male in the UK at the present moment in time, because if were getting discriminated against, we get laughed at.

Onto the thread subject.

The main thing is if a girl disguises the fact that shes pregnant, she can pretty much have the life of anyone shes slept with up until it becomes noticable that she is pregnant.

Again, great being a bloke since women can absolutely ruin our lives over a simple one night stand "because they can".

 

[Eeben]

Well, since i've been off the funwagon for ...urgh...two weeks now, i've discussed about sex with various crowds even more. Which is saying alot.

Now an interesting matter came up the other day and i was wondering what others thought, what the law(since we do have legal people, as well as other experts in nuclear physics and medicine in here *heh*) sayes about it and what the overall feelings of people was on the matter.

Example: You have sex with a woman(or a man). Now, just to clarify, sex means doing the nasty, pumping uglies, hiding the salami and all that.

Now, it's all done and you go your separete ways.

You don't see for ages.

6-8 months later the woman comes to you and sayes: "I'm having your baby."

Here comes the discussion topic, which generates rather alot of different opinions: Is the man liable in any way to take part in the childs life, morally or legally, after the fact he was kept in the dark about the whole baby issue for such a long time.

We can even bring it further, what about if the child is allready born? How would the chips fall in that situation?

And from the womans point of view, if you don't tell the man your pregnant, do you have the right to come knocking on his door after you've hidden the baby for a prolonged period of time?

aye i always have this discussion with my female friend ..

Imo if someone i have had sex with an she gets pregants i dont have shit to say when it comes to haveing a baby wich imo is not fair an if i just take off after i got a pregant im a asshole in alot of ppls eyes..

 

[old.Tohtori]

There are fair points on this thread, but sadly not what i was after.

Well some did get it and seem to agree with the "piss off" point of view.

Ofcourse if you get someone preggies, you take responsibility. No question. But, the question is how FAR those responsibilities last. Can a woman keep a baby for 2 years, without telling, and then demand something? Is it the same with prolonged pregnancies if the man isn't informed?

 

[Eeben]

Well the thing is....

I live in Durham city so its either students out or like 50 year old women. Im only 17 myself so end up hitting the Students union alot where you often meet *gasp* student girls. Soooo sometimes i tell little white lies like 'im a 21 year old student doing History' when im actually a 17 year old school boy

So its kinda the reverse of what you're saying.

I know, im a bad person.

lieing to get sex! thats how its done m8!!!

 

[Eeben]

There are fair points on this thread, but sadly not what i was after.

Well some did get it and seem to agree with the "piss off" point of view.

Ofcourse if you get someone preggies, you take responsibility. No question. But, the question is how FAR those responsibilities last. Can a woman keep a baby for 2 years, without telling, and then demand something? Is it the same with prolonged pregnancies if the man isn't informed?

i dont see why you should take responsibility if you say you dont want the baby an she gets it anyway.

 

[Golena]

I do think sometimes womens rights go over the top.

It's 100% the descision of the woman if she wants to have the baby or not, yet the bloke is forced into paying up if she decides to have it. In this case it really doesn't matter if the bloke finds out or not since even if he knows he's powerless to actually do anything I believe (up until the sprog is born ofc).

On a slightly unrelated note I find the idea that if you get divorced that the bloke has to pay for the woman to have the same standard of living after the seperation a complete joke. Got a mate who's completely skint, but because they have 2 kids he's got to fork out 20% of his salary every month to keep his ex wife in beer, while she spends f**k all of it on the children.

Law is just messed up.

 

[Huntingtons]

i dont see why you should take responsibility if you say you dont want the baby an she gets it anyway.

your loss then mate, protect yourself - its your action not to protect yourself. as much as her's (but if she wants the child i dont think she cares )

IMO, if a girl gets knocked up the man takes responsibility. paying supports if he's informed before the chance of abortion or smth. paying means the chance of emotional connection to the child if deemed fit (not if he's a psycho like vlad or smth). same points thru the birth etc as most here.
but in case of abortion the man has nothing to say untill he himself can concieve(sp?) a child imo.

but! what if he man is raped (yes it happens) and she gives birth to a child, how can he be forced to pay support? !

 

[Congax]

but! what if he man is raped (yes it happens) and she gives birth to a child, how can he be forced to pay support? !

"Zomg, I raped you and you didn't wear protection Sue inc!"