If you had superman's powers, what would you do?

[DaGaffer]

Then get some poon.

Well you'd better hope Wonder Woman exists because otherwise you're going to be beating your meat for the rest of eternity (unless you're a fan of really extreme torture porn). Look up "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex" and you'll get the point.

Personally I'd keep it secret. The last thing humanity needs is someone to solve their problems for them and become a God to half of humanity and a demon to the rest. Best to work in the shadows.

 

[fettoken]

Just wondering, if Earths yellow Sun is what gives you your power would you not get a certain distance away and then turn mortal? Normal man millions of miles into space and pop you are dead

I would have built some sort of suit of course. But yeah, there are a few hazards out there i guess. If i could choose the way to go, i would definately try being sucked into a black hole.

 

[Fweddy]

I'd go explore under the sea. Probably a bit less risky than space and there's bound to be some interesting creatures down there to see.

 

[Deebs]

Fuck off and watch Betelgeuse go supernova if it hasn't already gone bang!

 

[Cyradix]

Probably try to do good to start with but succumb to temptation and become an evil bastard.... after a day or 2...
And explore space of course! Might be an evil bastard but still a space geek

 

[Ormorof]

attach a treadmill to a generator, provide free power to the masses!

(i think i saw a comic to this effect some time ago)

 

[BloodOmen]

I'd fly above Katie Price and have a massive shit, annoying bitch.

 

[Bahumat]

Is supermans poo heavy? How does it flush?

 

[megadave]

Nah he's got a super digestive system, never too hard, never too runny, always just right.

 

[dysfunction]

And he never has to wipe!

 

[Lamp]

Given Superman seems to wipe his arse on the laws of physics:

Fly through a black hole, investigate the singularity, recording everything, fly back to Cambridge, pay a visit to Stephen Hawking, stick a USB cable up my arse, download all the data, provide Hawking with all the necessary mathematical proofs, fly off, and let the Hawk take all the credit

Then wonder why I still look like Christopher Reeve even after he died (RIP)

 

[soze]

From watching Smallville I know that I would be a shit Superman.

Threaten to expose my secret. Die on Fire.
Believe some mug you met this episode over me. Die on Fire.
Tie me to a cross. Die on Fire.

The list goes on. Also after destroying all the little green rock I would out myself to the world and then become the first simultaneous WBO, WWE and UFC heavyweight champion. Then I would sign to be the goalkeeper for Arsenal and set the ball on fire whenever the other team touch it. Then I would audition for the X Factor and burn every mother fucker in the room, the downside to this is I would win the X Factor

 

[Bigmac]

Instead of Superman powers I'd prefer the powers of an archangel from Supernatural.

Need a shag? Create women out of thin air.
Need food? Create food out of thin air.
People pissing you off? Snap fingers, making them explode then travel back in time and do it again for amusement value.

 

[Raven]

Fuck off and watch Betelgeuse go supernova if it hasn't already gone bang!

It went bang years ago!

 

[Overdriven]

Make a Soufflé, watch it collapse in on itself then probably throw the oven across the world out of anger.

 

[Scouse]

It's any easy one this.

Destroy all of the world's arms, be the sole enforcer, then take all the money we spend on defence and instead use it to feed, clothe and educate every single person on the planet, not one person excluded, which it would do, many times over.

Then we would explore space, in peace, together.


Bill Hicks style

 

[TdC]

you missed the inner and outer clause to space

 

[Scouse]

you missed the inner and outer clause to space

Exploring inner space together sounds like a swingers party


If I'm Superman, I ain't sharing no poon with no man.

 

[Aoami]

open up your mums bumhole with my super strength and line the ring with metal so she could take my superman dick and scream YOUR SPHINCTER IS MY NEW KRYPTONITE MRS MAUGHAN whilst ramming her for hours without a break

with your dad sitting on my face

 

[DaGaffer]

Exploring inner space together sounds like a swingers party


If I'm Superman, I ain't sharing no poon with no man.

I'm surprised. Normal behaviour for hippies.

 

[Deebs]

It went bang years ago!

Source?

 

[Raven]

Source?

well, it's 640odd light years away so chances are it has!

 

[old.Tohtori]

Instead of Superman powers I'd prefer the powers of an archangel from Supernatural.

Need a shag? Create women out of thin air.
Need food? Create food out of thin air.
People pissing you off? Snap fingers, making them explode then travel back in time and do it again for amusement value.

Careful with the wish there ken doll, supernatural angels don't have sex, nor indeed have the need to

 

[Deebs]

well, it's 640odd light years away so chances are it has!

Exactly my point. Noone knows if it has yet.

 

[old.Tohtori]

In cosmic years 640 isn't that much either.

 

[Bigmac]

Careful with the wish there ken doll, supernatural angels don't have sex, nor indeed have the need to

That's why I said powers of an archangel, not to become one. Plus they can have sex they just don't, except the archangel Gabriel, hes just a major slag.

 

[old.Tohtori]

That's why I said powers of an archangel, not to become one. Plus they can have sex they just don't, except the archangel Gabriel, hes just a major slag.

If they possess a human they can, otherwise they are ken dolls down there.

So to have sex you'd have to be a bit naughty

 

[Bahumat]

That's why I said powers of an archangel, not to become one. Plus they can have sex they just don't, except the archangel Gabriel, hes just a major slag.

And you get to pretend to be Loki

 

[old.Tohtori]

And you get to pretend to be Loki

Now there's a god to take powers from, though you could go straight for odin and go "evil"(more so).

I might prefer Hel, what with the whole controlling of the dead zombie apocalypse possibilities

 

[Chilly]

Stop taking the tube to work.