I woke up this morning and...

[Killswitch]

I was old, fat, bald, friendless, talentless and penniless with zero prospects, few possessions and crippling debt. I found myself mired in a stressful and frustrating job with few rewards and large responsibilities. I was laying in a cheap bed in a cheap flat in a cheap town with cheap windows covered by cheap curtains overlooking my cheap car in its not-so-cheap parking space.

Tonight I shall venture to the local Grammar school to be bested on the badminton courts by a procession of overweight middle-aged men and then it's back to work until Friday, where I shall have rings run around me on the local all-weather pitch at the local council facility where once again, the travesty that is "Friday Football" will leave me both goalless, breathless and bloody irritated at my incredible proficiency in the art of the mediocre.

Even being a notably abject World of Warcraft denizen has lost its appeal...sitting around my front room doing nothing compares pretty favourably to paying a monthly fee to sit around Dalaran doing nothing (and I have a TV in my front room).

I am adrift on a becalmed sea without oar, rudder or sail. I am lost in the dark, bereft of hope or inspiration. All human emotion seems gone from me and my heart pumps only blood, not life, through empty veins. There is a light at the end of this desolate tunnel of existence, but it hovers always out of reach. teasing and tormenting and I have no means by which to bring it withing my grasp.

It seems to me that the internet, thinking too much and slow days at work are a bad combination...

 

[Raven]

Still, Liverpool are 3rd from bottom. Silver lining and all that

 

[cHodAX]

Brilliant, sounds just like my life in 5 years time.

 

[Vasconcelos]

And i thought my life sucked....

Thanks for making my day Kill

 

[Killswitch]

Still, Liverpool are 3rd from bottom. Silver lining and all that

Hmm. Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

 

[Job]

You're white (I guess), alive and you live in a western country, that puts
you in the top 10% of the world, stop comparing yourself to the pathetic ladder climbers around you and grab anything that goes by, because that one slim chance is something 90% of the world would sell their right arm for.

Either that or you're fucked.

 

[Killswitch]

You're white (I guess), alive and you live in a western country, that puts
you in the top 10% of the world, stop comparing yourself to the pathetic ladder climbers around you and grab anything that goes by, because that one slim chance is something 90% of the world would sell their right arm for.

Either that or you're fucked.

Ahhh...the Holy Trinity of contentment. White (and middle-class to boot!), alive and living in a benign-ish Western democracy...

:england:

Unfortunately, finding out you have something that others don't doesn't automatically make you happy about it. Syphilis would be one example that springs to mind.

 

[old.Tohtori]

I found myself mired in a stressful and frustrating job

You lucky sod, you have a job

 

[Killswitch]

You lucky sod, you have a job

Tru dat! Better dull job than no job...or Steve Jobs for that matter...

 

[Lamp]

I was old, fat, bald, friendless, talentless and penniless with zero prospects, few possessions and crippling debt.

A thick bacon buttie, followed by a Crunchie with a cup of tea will suddendly make all your problems go away. If you're gonna be fat, hell, you might as well die happy & eat stuff that tastes fab

 

[pikeh]

A cup of tea does make everything better.

 

[Ezteq]

could be worse; not sure how but I'm sure it could be

 

[Amanita]

I got home the other day and I saw this. Life is cool ^^

 

[Killswitch]

Just got back from badminton (complete with new more aggressive "skinhead" look!) and for the first time in a long time, I actually won more than I lost!

Maybe things are looking up!

 

[Job]

I think we're being had by a depreso-bot.

Whats your favourite colour?

'Matt black because it represents the the sucking in of all energy and
the faceless blank reflection I see in the mirror'

 

[old.Osy]

Just smile to a random person on the street. Either he/she will peg you for a nutjob, or they will smile back. And you will feel better.

 

[Ezteq]

Just got back from badminton (complete with new more aggressive "skinhead" look!) and for the first time in a long time, I actually won more than I lost!

Maybe things are looking up!

did they make you wear that little feathered skirt too? Because, and I really hate to burst your bubble here but, technically I don't think the shuttlecock can actually win the game.

sorry

 

[Killswitch]

I think we're being had by a depreso-bot.

Whats your favourite colour?

'Matt black because it represents the the sucking in of all energy and
the faceless blank reflection I see in the mirror'

Why do you think you are a favourite colour?

(please excuse the very old Eliza reference...)

 

[ford prefect]

Play minecraft - you can build the house you want. Would be nice to see it just once