- Joined
- Dec 22, 2003
- Messages
- 5,755
Help I want to become a superhero/villain.
- Thread starter old.Tohtori
- Start date
Chronictank
FH is my second home
- Joined
- Jan 21, 2004
- Messages
- 10,133
but you're already my bitch because i know you're weakness
<hands Tilda a pet ninja monkey>
CorNokZ
Currently a stay at home dad
- Joined
- Jan 24, 2004
- Messages
- 19,779
Ey! My sidekick place has already been taken by an agile, doublejointed, bee-bodied nymph kung-fu woman
Hmmmm...
Shouldnt tho's be your Minions rather than your side kick ?
old.Tohtori
FH is my second home
- Joined
- Jan 23, 2004
- Messages
- 45,210
- Thread starter
- #36
Lamp
Gold Star Holder!!
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2005
- Messages
- 23,142
The power to suspend time around me, enabling me to do whatever I want and interract with the static environment. At a click of my fingers time resumes where it left off
Eg. you're on a crowded train. You click your fingers. Time stops. You notice a pretty women. You fondle her boobies. You step back to where you were. Click your fingers. Time resumes. She's none the wiser and you've had a nice grope.
Eg. you're on a crowded train. You click your fingers. Time stops. You notice a pretty women. You fondle her boobies. You step back to where you were. Click your fingers. Time resumes. She's none the wiser and you've had a nice grope.
ford prefect
Can't get enough of FH
- Joined
- Aug 27, 2006
- Messages
- 1,386
Super Villain? Become a politician! It is the quickest and least stressful path into that particular career I believe and only occasionally ends in a prison sentence.
Manisch Depressiv
Part of the furniture
- Joined
- Mar 6, 2005
- Messages
- 7,727
Cock Puncher or the guys from Balls of Fury are modern day super heroes. Try their approaches 
.
.I have a superpower, or well at least an ability.
No matter how cold it is, my body produces so much heat that I am practically burning when I sleep. Provided I do have some sort of blanket covering me, so all the heat just doesn't go up in the sky sort to speak..
It's quite scary actually, all my life I've been told I am impossible to share a bed with cus I am so fucking hot to sleep next to.
But how can I utilize this ability to spread evil and havoc?
No matter how cold it is, my body produces so much heat that I am practically burning when I sleep. Provided I do have some sort of blanket covering me, so all the heat just doesn't go up in the sky sort to speak..
It's quite scary actually, all my life I've been told I am impossible to share a bed with cus I am so fucking hot to sleep next to.
But how can I utilize this ability to spread evil and havoc?
CorNokZ
Currently a stay at home dad
- Joined
- Jan 24, 2004
- Messages
- 19,779
You could sleep with all the villains?
old.Tohtori
FH is my second home
- Joined
- Jan 23, 2004
- Messages
- 45,210
- Thread starter
- #42
Hmm. Got the same problem. Human radiator they call me.
Not exactly nice way to say "superpowered individual with pyrokinetic abilities", but hey, what do the girls now eh
Lamp
Gold Star Holder!!
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2005
- Messages
- 23,142
Cyradix
FH is my second home
- Joined
- Dec 22, 2003
- Messages
- 2,128
and old, but still usefull for the starting villain
Top 50 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became an Evil Overlord
Important message for everyone who is interested in world domination...
1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass
visors, not face-concealing ones.
2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
3. My noble half-brother, whose throne I usurped, will be killed, not
kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on
the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the
Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. (The same
applies to the object that is my one weakness.)
6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.
7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill
me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No,"
and shoot him. No, on second thoughts, I'll shoot him and then say "No."
8. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely
necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a big red button
labelled
"DANGER: DO NOT PUSH". The big red button marked "DO NOT PUSH" will
instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to
disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not be clearly labeled as such.
9. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds
of ammunition emptied into them - not left for dead at the bottom of
the cliff.
10. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any
other last request.
11. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find
that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to
activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his
plan into operation.
12. I will never utter the sentence, "Before I kill you, there's just
one thing I want to know."
13. When I employ people as advisers, I will occasionally listen to
their advice. One of my advisers will be an average five-year-old child.
Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before
implementation.
14. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in
maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected
developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to
accordingly.
15. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original
uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs
that make them look like Nazi storm troopers, Roman foot soldiers or
savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my
troops to have a more positive mindset.
16. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my
troops in their use. That way, even if the heroes manage to neutralize
my power generator or render the standard-issue energy weapons
useless, my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.
17. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any
sort of machinery that is completely indestructible except for one
small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.
18. I will never build only one of anything important. All important
systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the
same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at
all times.
19. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot
escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.
20. I will dress in bright and cheery colors and so throw my enemies
into confusion.
21. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, talentless bards and
cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My
foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no
source of comic relief.
22. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad
news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard
to come by.
23. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.
24. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride
at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my
opposite number among his army.
25. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog,
monkey, ferret or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of
untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.
26. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact that can destroy
me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send
them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the
local paper.
27. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to
examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned
tunnels that I might not know about.
28. If the beautiful princess that I capture says, "I'll never marry
you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!" I will say, "Oh well" and kill
her.
29. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any
who cannot hit a man-sized target at ten meters will be used for
target practice.
30. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will
carefully read the owner's manual.
31. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose
dramatically and toss off a one-liner.
32. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.
33. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely
unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits that could prove to be a
disadvantage.
34. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always
travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one
of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will
immediately initiate an alert and call for backup instead of
quizzically peering round a corner.
35. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse
instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack
him one or two at a time.
36. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and
struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also
not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge
over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)
37. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have
disarmed him and am about to finish him off, and he glances behind me
and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning
round to find out what he saw.
38. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in
front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.
39. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then
have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for
both of us instead of trying to decide whether or to switch with him.
40. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of opposite
sex.
41. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly
complicated, e.g. "Align the twelve stones of power on the sacred
altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse."
Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."
42. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use.
Also, I will not construct walkways above them.
43. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate
them for incompetence and then send the same group out to try the task
again.
44. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation
is facing away from the door.
45. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an
underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is
scheduled to go first.
46. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop
and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.
47. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with
bodyguards so that if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells
the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team
instead of opening up the cell for a look.
48. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain
reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.
49. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45 MB in
size.
50. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless
trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.
Top 50 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became an Evil Overlord
Important message for everyone who is interested in world domination...
1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass
visors, not face-concealing ones.
2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
3. My noble half-brother, whose throne I usurped, will be killed, not
kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on
the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the
Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. (The same
applies to the object that is my one weakness.)
6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.
7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill
me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No,"
and shoot him. No, on second thoughts, I'll shoot him and then say "No."
8. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely
necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a big red button
labelled
"DANGER: DO NOT PUSH". The big red button marked "DO NOT PUSH" will
instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to
disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not be clearly labeled as such.
9. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds
of ammunition emptied into them - not left for dead at the bottom of
the cliff.
10. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any
other last request.
11. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find
that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to
activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his
plan into operation.
12. I will never utter the sentence, "Before I kill you, there's just
one thing I want to know."
13. When I employ people as advisers, I will occasionally listen to
their advice. One of my advisers will be an average five-year-old child.
Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before
implementation.
14. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in
maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected
developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to
accordingly.
15. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original
uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs
that make them look like Nazi storm troopers, Roman foot soldiers or
savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my
troops to have a more positive mindset.
16. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my
troops in their use. That way, even if the heroes manage to neutralize
my power generator or render the standard-issue energy weapons
useless, my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.
17. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any
sort of machinery that is completely indestructible except for one
small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.
18. I will never build only one of anything important. All important
systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the
same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at
all times.
19. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot
escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.
20. I will dress in bright and cheery colors and so throw my enemies
into confusion.
21. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, talentless bards and
cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My
foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no
source of comic relief.
22. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad
news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard
to come by.
23. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.
24. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride
at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my
opposite number among his army.
25. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog,
monkey, ferret or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of
untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.
26. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact that can destroy
me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send
them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the
local paper.
27. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to
examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned
tunnels that I might not know about.
28. If the beautiful princess that I capture says, "I'll never marry
you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!" I will say, "Oh well" and kill
her.
29. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any
who cannot hit a man-sized target at ten meters will be used for
target practice.
30. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will
carefully read the owner's manual.
31. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose
dramatically and toss off a one-liner.
32. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.
33. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely
unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits that could prove to be a
disadvantage.
34. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always
travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one
of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will
immediately initiate an alert and call for backup instead of
quizzically peering round a corner.
35. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse
instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack
him one or two at a time.
36. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and
struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also
not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge
over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)
37. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have
disarmed him and am about to finish him off, and he glances behind me
and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning
round to find out what he saw.
38. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in
front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.
39. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then
have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for
both of us instead of trying to decide whether or to switch with him.
40. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of opposite
sex.
41. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly
complicated, e.g. "Align the twelve stones of power on the sacred
altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse."
Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."
42. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use.
Also, I will not construct walkways above them.
43. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate
them for incompetence and then send the same group out to try the task
again.
44. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation
is facing away from the door.
45. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an
underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is
scheduled to go first.
46. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop
and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.
47. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with
bodyguards so that if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells
the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team
instead of opening up the cell for a look.
48. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain
reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.
49. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45 MB in
size.
50. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless
trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.
dysfunction
FH is my second home
- Joined
- Dec 22, 2003
- Messages
- 9,709
Not read this necro thread...but
Don't wear a cape
The Incredibles:No Capes!‏ - YouTube
Also
Kick Ass anyone?
Kick Ass New Extended Movie Trailer [HD]‏ - YouTube
Don't wear a cape
The Incredibles:No Capes!‏ - YouTube
Also
Kick Ass anyone?
Kick Ass New Extended Movie Trailer [HD]‏ - YouTube
