I love Spam

[Whipped]

I couldn't resit sharing this with you lot. Just got a lovely spam e-mail. No subject, some jibe about Harry Potter and some woman's new book.

I scroll down to the bottom and I'm greeted by this amazing work of art.

 

[TdC]

lol at least you got a laugh out of it

 

[Maljonic]

I got an almost identical email, only with Bart Simpson sticking is willy up a girl - a bit too rude to post here even if it is only a cartoon.

 

[GDW]

How can it be rude its 'cartoon nature'. I want to see it.

 

[TdC]

you could put up a link to it in spoiler tags, and lable it NSFW. I'm not sure if a spoiler tag can handle an img directly, but a link certainly.

 

[Maljonic]

Okay, if you insist - a naughty cartoon picture here

 

[Chilly]

hhe, dirty bart

 

[Whipped]

you could put up a link to it in spoiler tags, and lable it NSFW. I'm not sure if a spoiler tag can handle an img directly, but a link certainly.

Spoiler tags can indeed handle images. I posted one in the Lost - Season 2 thread.

 

[TdC]

ah, cheers, I didn't know that. Ta Whipped

 

[WiZe^]

Rofl nice pic xD

 

[Maljonic]

When she swallows your sperm with Spermamax it’s like she’s having a dinner.

Cum like @ superman w1th Spermamax.
Build your family, make kids with Spermamax.
You want a girl, then try Spermamax.
You want a boy, then try Spermamax,
you want twins, then try Spermamax.

 

[TdC]

rofl that's just nasty :/

 

[Chilly]

I got this beut earlier:

cracked me up

 

[Maljonic]

Since the ancient time$ men were trying to enl@rge the1r dicks. T0day we created Penis Enlarge Patch especially for you.
All her plans will be disconcerted when she sees your new dick given you by Penis Enlarge Patch.

What plans?

 

[Earl]

XP PRO, OFFICE 2003 AND ALL AT ONLY $12-60 EACH, WE GIVE U LICENSE wife
yours fascinate not different next evening. use wife love promised. here added reference.
pretty night evening. pride somewhere promised bad, yours allow off supposedto.
anything servants principle thus,
am use side not carefully, thus you similar carefully. bad reading black.
my leader added evening she.

I dont understand.. are they offering me Windows XP or a wife?

 

[Hansmoleman]

I dont understand.. are they offering me Windows XP or a wife?

i think it means you become windows bitch?

 

[~Yuckfou~]

I'm Rich!!!!

QUAD CRUISE AWARD.
RESULTS STAATSLOTERIJ.NL AWARD.
No 21 MANNI-STRAAT
1309HA
AMSTERDAM/NETHERLANDS
FROM THE DESK OF THE DIRECTOR:
QUAD CRUISE
INTERNATIONAL PRIZE AWARD DEPT
WINNING NOTIFICATION FOR CATEGORY "A"
WINNER ONLY

ATTENTION!
We are pleased to inform you of the result of the last final annual draw of
our LOTTERY INTERNATIONAL Programs. The online cyber lotto draws was
conducted from an exclusive list of 25,000,000 e-mail addresses of
individuals and corporate institutions,picked by an advanced automated
random computer search from the internet. No tickets were sold.

After this automated computer ballot, your e-mail address emerged as a
winner in the category "A" with the following numbers attached Ref Number:
QC 9590 ES 9414,Batch Number: 573881545-NL/2005 and Ticket Number: PP 3502
/8707-01.

You are therefore to receive a cash prize of $1,500,000.00. (One Million
Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars)from the total payout. CONGRATULATIONS!!! Your prize award has been insured with your e-mail address and will be
transferred to you upon meeting our requirements, statutory obligations,
verifications, validations and satisfactory report. To file in for the
processing of your prize winnings, you are advised to contact our Certified
and Accredited claims agent for category "A" winners with the information
below:
Name: Paul Vanfrant
Email:quadcruise@netscape.net
claimsinfodesk@netscape.net
Tel : +31 63 378 5385
Fax : +31-84-710-9009
You are advised to provide him with the following information:

1.Given Name (As Stated in your ID)
2.Telephone/Fax number:
3.Nationality:
4.Age:

NOTE: All winnings must be claimed not later than 14 days; thereafter
unclaimed funds would be included in the next stake. Remember to quote your
reference information in all correspondence.

You are to keep all lottery information confidential, especially your
reference and ticket numbers. (This is important as a case of double claim
will not be tolerated).
Members of affiliated agencies are PROHIBITED from participating in this
program.
Furthermore, should there be any change of address, do inform our agent as soon as possible. Congratulations once more from our members of staff and thank you for being
part of our Promotional Program.
regards,
Walter Jones.
Lottery Coordinator.

***This email may contain confidential and/or privileged information. The information is intended solely for the use of the individual or entity
named above. If you are not the intended recipient, be aware that any
disclosure, copying, distribution or use of the contents is prohibited. If you have received this electronic transmission in error,
please notify the sender by telephone or return email and delete the
material from your computer.***

Now, what shall I spend the money on?

 

[Maljonic]

Get a life!

“I would love to have a quiet, intelligent conversation about Jesus.

No sermons, please – just a quiet, seated conversation. Talk to me about forgiveness – not my guilt. I understand evil – so tell me about love. I have doubts – please deal with them. Don't tell me I have to agree – but I will listen.



I know how to fail – tell me how to succeed in my family and my work. I am tired of hearing about God – tell me how to know him.

I want a life. Tell me about the Jesus who deals in my future, not my past.”

www.changedlives.org is quite possibly what you are looking for.

Click here please.

copyright 2005

 

[taB]

Well, this thread seems most suited to the spam mail I just recieved and so for your delectation:

PREVENTION IS BETTER THAN CURE.

I am very sorry for you Xxxxxx, is a pity that this is how your life is
going to end as soon as you don't comply. As you can see there is no need
of introducing myself to you because I don't have any business with you,
my duty as I am mailing you now is just to KILL you and I have to do it as
I have already been paid for that.

Someone you call a friend wants you Dead by all means, and the person have
spent a lot of money on this, the person also came to us and told me that
he wanted you dead and he provided us with your name ,picture and other
necessary information's we needed about you. So I sent my boys to track
you down and they have carried out the necessary investigation needed for
the operation on you, and they have done that but I told them not to kill
you that I will like to contact you and see if your life is Important to
you or not since their findings shows that you are innocent.

I called my client back and ask him of your email address which I didn't
tell him what I wanted to do with it and he gave it to me and I am using
it to contact you now. As I am writing to you now my men are monitoring
you and they are telling me everything about you.
Now do you want to LIVE OR DIE? As someone has paid us to kill you. Get
back to me now if you are ready to pay some fees to spare your life,
$15,000 is all you need to spend You will first of all pay $5,000 then I
will send a tape to you which i recorded every discusion i had with the
person who wanted you dead and as soon as you get the tape, you will pay
the remaining $10,000. If you are not ready for my help, then I will carry
on with my job straight-up.

WARNING: DO NOT THINK OF CONTACTING THE POLICE OR EVEN TELLING ANYONE
BECAUSE I WILL KNOW.REMEMBER, SOMEONE WHO KNOWS YOU VERY WELL WANT YOU
DEAD! I WILL EXTEND IT TO YOUR FAMILY, INCASE I NOTICE SOMETHING FUNNY.
DO NOT COME OUT ONCE IT IS 7M UNTIL I MAKE OUT TIME TO SEE YOU AND GIVE
YOU THE TAPE OF MY DISCUSSION WITH THE PERSON WHO WANT YOU DEAD THEN YOU
CAN USE IT TO TAKE ANY LEGAL ACTION. GOOD LUCK AS I AWAIT YOUR REPLY.
EMAIL.abassdsniper@gmail.com

Different to most of the ones I receive

Love the e-mail too!

 

[Damini]

Oh god, that's awesome. However, imagine if that landed on the lap of someone who was gullible, or frail, and it's starting to look a lot more disturbing. Perhaps you should forward it on to some kind of cyber crime department? No idea how these things work, but I have visions of the type of people who believe in nigerian relatives with big inheritances, now living in perpetual fear for their lives.

Again, amusing, but in a very sad way.

 

[Mabs]

EMAIL.abassdsniper@gmail.com

best email ever, he must be REAL!!!!!11

 

[TdC]

funny how Dead and Important are capitalized. are those words more Important than others?

 

[taB]

Perhaps you should forward it on to some kind of cyber crime department?

Seeing as it's a gmail addy I have spent a while going in circles on gmail's website with no luck. I have a gmail account (my normal one) but this was sent to a different one - if it was to my gmail I could just flag it.

Bah.

 

[Frizz]

 

[Chilly]

that's a SPAM email??

 

[taB]

Frizz, I think I made it quite clear that I'm not going to pay your ransom....

 

[Jimmy]

frizz that is brill so sending that to a few m8's

 

[TdC]

wow, maybe it's the mountainbike fuelled endorphin flow but that's six kinds of awesome o0

 

[Ch3tan]

Lollerskates!

 

[Raven]

All i get is stupid stories

"His mother was taking sydney into society, and plain facts.
i knw oq!y what has been in the papers. For a short time
upon the hill. This pottery resembles him. An unaccountable
horror seized him with a think over it. I will not. But
i want to know drove on through the night in silence. It
was biokeiimmhms and everything which could be stowed away was
she let him go reluctantly. Afterwards she passed willingly,
lord, do thy good pleasure. And the incident given to the
author by j. C. Ivison, whole regiment of pipes can't make
it six o'clock there is a quite pleasant garden, not too
many areaaacochbl hundred men. In midseptember his ships appeared
to live in a wonderful house, she was, with carpets territory.
the friar now conducted them to his."

and some link which i didnt bother clicking.