I have to go to court

00dave

Artist formerly known as Ignus
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I witnessed a minor traffic accident a few months back now where the offender drove off without stopping. Got his reg plate and reported it to the police and now apparantly he's pleaded not guilty and I have to go to a magistrates court to give evidence.
All seems a bit of a waste for what was a minor bump, the only reason I reported him was because he was driving like a prick beforehand and it could have been a much worse accident in the wrong situation.

Bit nervous about being a witness so has anyone got any advice, I imagine most of the freddys here have been to court for one reason or another :)
 

Gumbo

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You'll be in the witness box for about 3 minutes. You'll answer yes or no to a few questions, then you'll be asked to describe what you saw. You should do it, you'll find it interesting.

If you're nervous, take a morning off and go and sit in at the magistrates court to get a flavour of what is likely to happen, it's rare that the public are excluded, and as above, it's dead interesting sometimes, although sometimes you get lengthy legalese boring bits.
 

Mabs

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what gumbo said, and dont worry, they arent after you :p
 

Roo Stercogburn

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I imagine most of the freddys here have been to court for one reason or another :)

Chuckled reading that. Conjured up an image of Porridge with Jup as Mackay.

Not sure who would be Fletcher or the rest of the cast.
 

Ch3tan

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Ignus, it can be extremely frustrating being a witness for a small crime like this. Quite often you will be asked to come along, then sit for ages without being called. If the defendant does not show, you have wasted your time, or they simply decide not to call you after all.

The claims you can make for out of pocket expenses are also shit.
 

MYstIC G

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Bit nervous about being a witness so has anyone got any advice, I imagine most of the freddys here have been to court for one reason or another :)
Don't panic and just tell the truth.

We can handle the truth...
 

Scouse

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Don't be vague with your answers, tell them exactly what you saw.

Also, take a friend. It's not improbable that whoever this is will have come mob handed and they'll do their best to be intimidating outside the courtroom. Having a mate about makes it easier.

Yes, there are laws about this but council officials will do pretty much fuck all about it. Lets face it, courts are full of scum, so court buildings are full of wankers.
 

mycenae

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I've been a witness at a coroners court when I saw a bloke get hit by a bus. It was a bit nerve wracking, but essentially, its nothing too taxing. Like has been suggested, take a mate, it'll give you some moral support. A policeman or someone from the case should go over with you whats expected of you anyways.
 

Dukat

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I'll be that guy who pretends to go crazy and sits on the roof so he gets into the library!! (???)
 

00dave

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Last time I was in court I was watching a case against a man accused of killing a friend of mine, they sent him down for murder in the end. It was the most boring event I ever saw, they spent about 3 hours talking about sand particles found on the body.
I remember the security around the building was pretty crap and that was crown court. Maybe they'll put me in the witness protection program and give me a new identity, although even if they did Ch3t would still call me ignus ffs!
 

Bahumat

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I witnessed a minor traffic accident a few months back now where the offender drove off without stopping. Got his reg plate and reported it to the police and now apparantly he's pleaded not guilty and I have to go to a magistrates court to give evidence.
All seems a bit of a waste for what was a minor bump, the only reason I reported him was because he was driving like a prick beforehand and it could have been a much worse accident in the wrong situation.

Bit nervous about being a witness so has anyone got any advice, I imagine most of the freddys here have been to court for one reason or another :)

Quickly design a new face because after you give evidence, he's gonna want to make love to your purdy mouth! You must get plastic surgery to look like the Hoff. That way you will be safe from trouble.
 

00dave

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I should be grateful I suppose, I finally got my very own title.
 

caLLous

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What Scouse said. I had to be a witness to a robbery at a nightclub a few years back. After I'd done my bit (I walked straight in and sat down in the witness box :\) the defendants' scummy mates all showed up outside the courtroom and made jokes about tying people up just loudly enough for us to hear as we walked past. Did not enjoy that day one little bit.
 

Wazzerphuk

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Last time I was in court I was watching a case against a man accused of killing a friend of mine, they sent him down for murder in the end. It was the most boring event I ever saw

I'm near speechless at this.
 

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