I Am Now On Therapist Duty.

[Apathy]

Come, lay before me your woes and traumas. I shall provide a simple solution - THERE IS NO PROBLEM AND YOU ARE MAKING IT UP.

Let's get the ball rolling. Sissyfoo, I understand you were sexually abused by a tramp in a playpark when you were 8 years old.

THERE WAS NO TRAMP, NOONE HAS TOUCHED YOU IN ALL YOUR 25 YEARS AND YOUR MOTHER WON'T LET YOU GO TO PLAYPARKS BECAUSE OF ALL THE DISCARDED JUNKIE NEEDLES. STOP MAKING THINGS UP.

NEXT!

a.
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[Apathy]

(Apathy is a nationally syndicated advice columnist and fully accredited therapist. His book "Therapy - THERE IS NOTHING THE FUCK WRONG WITH YOU, YOU MOANY TWIT!" is on sale in bookstores now.)

a.
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[.Jos.]

...

Y'know Apathy...something is bothering me...

...You claim your location is The Valley of the Sausages, but I'd like to know, where is this Valley?

 

[Apathy]

YOU WOULDN'T LIKE TO KNOW. YOU ARE JUST MAKING THAT UP. STOP DOING THINGS LIKE THAT AND MAYBE YOUR LIFE WILL START GOING SOMEWHERE.

NEXT!

( http://retrocrush.net/daoc/VotS.wma )

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[Cap'n Sissyfoo]

I was sexually abused in the park by a tra...oh wait, you've already done that one.

What about the time I was anally raped by aliens when I was visiting Canada? I still have the stiches and the medical certificate to prove it happened.

 

[Ekydus]

Apathy in a suit...

 

[Apathy]

Originally posted by Sissyfoo
What about the time I was anally raped by aliens when I was visiting Canada? I still have the stiches and the medical certificate to prove it happened.

YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN RAPED, ANALLY OR OTHERWISE. YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN TO CANADA AND EVEN IF YOU HAD, ANY MEDICAL CERTIFICATES FROM THAT BACKWARDS TUNDRA WOULD BE INADMISSABLE AS EVIDENCE SINCE WITCH DOCTORS ARE NOT QUALIFIED PROFESSIONALS.

THE SOONER YOU STOP IMAGINING SEXUAL TRAUMA, THE SOONER YOU CAN START HAVING ACTUAL SEX.

NEXT!

a.
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[Ekydus]

I seem to have a problem with viewing this thread.

 

[Cap'n Sissyfoo]

I'm cured!

Praise be to Dr. Apathy M.D. B.A.

 

[Apathy]

MA(Oxon)!

Soon...so soon...and then I will be able to support you and all my other lazy associates.

a.
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[Cap'n Sissyfoo]

I need a new computer, a car and a french maid...STAT!

 

[Apathy]

I need someone to cook me some waffles. :/

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[Ekydus]

Dr. Apathy...

Apathy needs someone to cook him some waffles. Please give advice.

 

[Ekydus]

Hmmm... I have just noticed there have only been posts in this thread by the posters with a slightly higher IQ...

You think Repent and adari saw "Therapist" and thought it meant they would learn something?

 

[Cap'n Sissyfoo]

Probably too scared to learn the truth behind their childhood traumas.

 

[Apathy]

Considering that they are still in childhood, they don't want to be forced to recall the details of last night.

a.
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[Ekydus]

Apathy think of Repent and you have entered a world of cliché.