I´m in Gran Canaria

[Mobius]

How can I get a hot tanned girl to have sex with me? They don´t speak english. I need a code or something.

Thank you.

 

[Stimpy]

Show them a wad of cash and point to your penis while winking alot, remember that's WINKING.

 

[fatbusinessman]

Slap 'em in the face with your dick.


It probably won't work, but it'll be entertaining

 

[Mobius]

Man im serious ;( this is as good a place as any for my first time. you guys suck!

 

[Brynn]

Show them your sexeh body

or go to club - and speak to girls buy them drinks - make them think they are special - all the shit women like

 

[TdC]

talk to them. there's a lot to be said for pidgin-english and "talking with your hands and feet" as the dutch say. remember, when you're delivering the goods to a hot tanned young beach bunny, think of your uncle tdc languishing in cold rainy holland. should give you a lot of staying power

talking, being nice, and going out some. the best ones buy you drinks too heh

 

[Summo]

Walk up to her, stick yer knob in her hand and cry.





(c) Derek & Clive

 

[Sissyfoo]

Roofies - a geek's best friend!

 

[Loxleyhood]

Remember, it's not rape, it's surprise sex.

 

[Apathy]

Don't forget, any woman who won't have sex with you is a FRIGID LESBIAN BITCH. So tell all her friends.

a.
*

 

[Dax]

How can I get a hot tanned girl to have sex with me? They don´t speak english. I need a code or something.

Thank you.

Can't you do anything without coming here first and asking for advice ?

 

[nath]

Don't forget, any woman who won't have sex with you is a FRIGID LESBIAN BITCH. So tell all her friends.

a.
*

fucking lol

 

[Cyradix]

step 1 : turn off the pc

 

[Cyfr]

I'm in blackburn and need the same help

 

[Tom]

HAHAHAHH BLACKBURN YOU ARE DOOOOMED!!!

or is that Burnley....

Tell the girls you're mates with Carl Fogarty, and have the scars to prove it...

 

[Deacan]

To be honest, the best apart about being abroad is the experimental pulling, remember they will NEVER see you again, unless of course you are very unlucky.

So try anything, thats the fun of it, asking on a forum is not the best option.

 

[Mobius]

This forum is my gateway into the real world. Why are girls so difficult to go up to? This fucking sucks.

 

[Tom]

They're not at all difficult to approach, try thinking about approaching a bunch of lads, what would you say? The reaction would be the same.

They're just people. Anyway, this place is hardly a gateway to the world, unless the world is populated by computer nerds who like the colour green and think that the penis is called a cox0r!

 

[Trem]

This forum is my gateway into the real world. Why are girls so difficult to go up to? This fucking sucks.

Cut out the middle man and just twat them on the back of the head with a shovel. Be quick though.......while they are still warm.


(c) Fred West.

 

[tris-]

Young man, there's no need to feel down.
I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground.
I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town
There's no need to be unhappy.

 

[old.user4556]

I wonder if 18 year old teens with moist vaginas ever feel the need, whilst on holiday, to seek advice on an internet forum?

"you girls, i badly need an erect cock, but how do i go about taking to men?!"

<wishful thinking> It's not going to happen ..... is it? </wishful thinking>

Agree with what Deacan says, this is a practice ground - who gives a fuck if you get it wrong! Great opportunity to just have a couple of drinks, loosen up and get chatting to them. One day, you'll really fall in love with a girl and you're gonna have to pluck up the courage to talk to them. Best to try it out now.

Modern woman is a tough nut to crack, if you think "COCK IN FANNY" too soon, she'll smell the desperado attitude a mile away and do a runner.

Just chat to them, the rest will happen naturally - to be with the opposite sex* is ingrained into every human being that has walked the earth.

G

*except gay people

 

[Tom]

heh G I actually laughed long and hard at that post!

 

[Dillinja]

Young man, are you listening to me?
I said, young man, what do you want to be?
I said, young man, you can make real your dreams.
But you've got to know this one thing!

No man does it all by himself.
I said, young man, put your pride on the shelf



These lyrics are so inspiring.

 

[Gengi]

The best advice has already been given, speaking to them.
If that fails try getting one completely bladdered, while you yourself stay relatively sober, don't want the first time to be forgotten because you were pished. (bitter experience talking ) Then, remembering to take all the appropriate safe sex precautions,(make sure her mates don't start shouting OMFG he's Kidnapping Trace) help her back to her place of rest and give her the rogering of your life.

The NOT GETTING SHITFACED YOURSELF is probably the main point to take out of the drivel.

Later

 

[Apathy]

give her the rogering of your life

Probably not going to happen if it is his first time. More like "make her feel like you've used her to wank into".

a.
*

 

[Gurnox]

Be yourself and relax.

And above all - Pay attention to her rather than posting messages on here. You could be shagging in the time it took to type that!

Jeez!

 

[Frizz]

Yeah, why are you within 10 miles of a PC on holiday?

:/

 

[nath]

(make sure her mates don't start shouting OMFG he's Kidnapping Trace)

Better still, don't go anywhere near anyone called Tracy.



edit: Apologies in advanced for anyone called/knows someone called Tracy.

 

[throdgrain]

Find a likely looking candidate, (anyone) then hang around the bar she is drinking in.
And seranade her.
With a banjo.

Never fails.

 

[Jonaldo]

Get out of the internet café for a start.

First question should be "where are you from?".
If they say "Basildon", follow it up with "Can I get you a drink?"
Closely followed by "is it true that all Essex girls are easy?".

Guaranteed sure fire balls in action, honest!