HP & Compaq

T

Testin da Cable

Guest
aye was right funny that :)
wierdness going on there I assure you
 
L

~Lazarus~

Guest
kinda does your nut in when these top brasses are talking about compensations / rewards in the millions and us poor plebes get about feck all
 
E

Embattle

Guest
Originally posted by Lazarus
kinda does your nut in when these top brasses are talking about compensations / rewards in the millions and us poor plebes get about feck all
Click to expand...

Nothing new there then :(
 
W

Wij

Guest
Bad business that merger. Compaq r fucked and HP wanna buy them out just to be bigger. No good for the shareholders.

Compaq and HP boxes suck anyway. My Deskpro 2000 at work is a bag of dogs' cocks :)
 
T

Testin da Cable

Guest
depends how you define "succesful" Ch3t aiiii :)
 
W

Wij

Guest
Compaq r big. But the margins on sticking PC bits together r incredibly low. Like HP want to, they wish to move more into the lucrative 'services' side of IT like IBM do.

IT Manager: Please Mr IBM we need your help to do a project.
IMB: OK, you'll need 50 IBM engineers to work out your needs.
IT Manager: That's fine.

...


IBM: We've assessed your needs and we've decided you need 500 IBM engineers. And 1,000 bits of IBM kit. And you need to pay us $1,000,000 a year on top.
IT Manager: Uh, OK.


...

IT Manager: It's been 1 year, have you finished our project.
IBM: No, you need to hire 500 more engineers for the next year and buy 1,000 more bits of kit and pay us some more money on top.
IT Manager: I'm not sure I like this.
IBM: Hahaha - are you going to scrap the project ? Don't make me laugh, how are you going to justify all the money you've spent so far. You'll be sacked. Your family will be roasted alive on the biggest P45 in corporate history. We have all your company secrets anyway. We have a foot in every door in your Head Office. Your managers trust us more than they trust their own employees. We 0wn j00 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!11123¬ MWUHAHAHAHA


See, very lucrative.

The only services that Compaq really has left are to do with Alpha tho and they just handed all that to Intel.
 
T

Testin da Cable

Guest
that's the way of it aiiii
ps. alpha is dead, sadly :(
 
S

Summo

Guest
Heh heh. I like these occasional ickle role-play scripts we do. :D
 
W

Wij

Guest
All part of the Service.

That'll be $1,000,000 thanks.

(this works a treat :))
 
B

bodhi

Guest
Sad thing is, after the merger, the resultant HPaq still wont be as big as IBM.
 
E

Embattle

Guest
artly down to the fact that both had areas that the other did so a little bit of scaling down.
 
W

Wij

Guest
The amount of crossover between the companies is bind-boggling. Stupidest merger I've heard of in a long while. Much worse than ours even :D

(no comments btw :))
 
T

Testin da Cable

Guest
charge Wij for
-film
-camera
-lights
-sound
-crew
-catering
-location
-director
-soundengineer
-gaffer
-transport
-makeup
-casting
-marketing
€37.425.267


:D
 
W

Wij

Guest
That knocks about 1% off your consultancy charge for my l33t IBM cuntractors then :D

MWWUHAHAHAHAHA !!!!!!!!!!!1111111111"!¬"""¬!"3
 
T

Testin da Cable

Guest
not to worry. made a deal with them in the pub yesterday: for 5 million euro they will forget they ever saw me and, in addition, they will sue you for damages. that leaves me with well over 30 million euro in my charging account :D
pay up or I'll send the pit-bulls - I mean lawyers 'round :D
 
W

Wij

Guest
*get IBM cuntract0rs to tell TdC's manager he's not ISO9000 complaint*

MWUUUUUUUUUUUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!8
 
T

Testin da Cable

Guest
get manager to allow TdC to personally audit the tasks performed by IBM peeps contracted by Wij.org



MWUUUUUUUUUUUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahhaHAHAHAHAhahaha =PPP
 
T

Testin da Cable

Guest
*come to*
huh? what? what happened?
Wij? why is your hand stuffed down my pants?
 
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