How to Shower: Women vs. Men

tris-

Failed Geordie and Parmothief
Joined
Jan 2, 2004
Messages
15,260
seems im a cross between the two when it comes to showering.
 

crispy

Can't get enough of FH
Joined
Mar 9, 2004
Messages
2,706
Well i aint to glad about the peeing in the bath (can pee in the toilet from bath :D) but the rest seems like a pretty normal bath to me... Well the man part ^_^
 

WiiWii

Loyal Freddie
Joined
Jan 16, 2004
Messages
270
hahaha my gf is like that girl :D

well made me laugh :)

*gives chronic a cookie*
 

CorNokZ

Currently a stay at home dad
Joined
Jan 24, 2004
Messages
19,781
-I always do the mohawk thing
-I don't usually pee in the shower, but it happens
-I do spend most the the time washing my private parts
-I always leave the cloth in a big pile
-I always do the woo-woo sound, regardless of anyone in my present
 

Ezteq

Queen of OT
Joined
Jan 4, 2004
Messages
13,457
kk theres the how to shower like a woman, how to shaowr like a man then theres...

how to shower like Ez:

-turn on shower so its running hot by time you get in
-go to loo and find suitable radio station for music to sing to
-get in and go "aaaah" or "eeep" according to temperature
-sing and dance and blow soap bubbles, attempt to whistle.. more soap bubbles
-wash hair and stick hairs that have come out on tiles
-rince hair and swear if soap goes in eyes
-wash self, aviod falling over when washing feet or shaving by hopping
-sing and dance some more and make boob prints on shower screen
-turn off water dry off insitu
-get out, leave small foot prints on carpet... walk backwards to confuse anyone who may have been tracking you
-run naked to bedroom and stop infront of bf to jiggle and do impromtu version of "i like big butts and i can not lie"

-never put towel on head it only falls off after two seconds making you look like mother theresa, use plastic crocodiles clippy thing to pin hair up if necessary.

jobs a good'un
 

liloe

It's my birthday today!
Joined
Jan 25, 2004
Messages
4,166
The women one is closer to me :/ Wash hair twice and use conditioner, huge towel, stand directly on the bath mat etc. :p
 

swords

Can't get enough of FH
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
4,337
The late student shower:

1. FUCK I have to be on campus in 10 minutes!
2. Turn on shower so fast the taps come off, aww fuck it.
3. Go to toilet while its getting to temp (note, you have 60 seconds, ONLY).
4. Get in shower, spend precisely 10 seconds getting damp.]
5. Apply shampoo and shower gel sequentially and with upmost haste.
6. Rinse, shouting 'COME ON YOU BASTARD, RINSE FASTER'
7. Turn taps off, shake and grind every fleshy bit with a towel (best descriptor for it) in a 'dry you bastard theme'.
8 Run out of the bathroom, to bedroom, throw clothes on (ironed clothes are a bonus), grab bag, jump in trainers and sprint for the door.
9.Run like you have an axe murderer on your tail to campus (3 mins is good time) and simply walk through the front door of the lecture theatre like you own the place. (Noobs try and sneak in the back way and crawl to a seat, everyone notices, everyone turns and the seats squeek anyway)

This explains why i'm an unshaven barbaric stunty ginger git at the moment.
 

Bugz

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
May 18, 2004
Messages
7,297
You know, if you actually dry your feet when inside the shower/bath, you don't actually have to make the bath mat wet.

I do that anyway :l
 

haarewin

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Jan 19, 2004
Messages
2,756
wheres the fun in drying your feet before you get out? that way, you don't have to defy death to escape the bathroom if you have a lino flooring.
 

Naetha

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Dec 22, 2003
Messages
1,564
I never shower.










































It doesn't work - have to bath instead :(
 

Ezteq

Queen of OT
Joined
Jan 4, 2004
Messages
13,457
anyone else make baby feet prints on the steamed up mirrors and stuff?

try this next time you have a steamed up surface:

make a fist
apply side of fist to steamed up surface (the side your little finger is on) this makes the sole print
use thumb to make big toe print and rest of fingers to make other toe pad prints

alternate left and right hand and the next person who goes in will think theres been a gravity defying baby or small monkey walking up the wall :)
 

psyco

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
Jun 18, 2005
Messages
3,310
anyone else make baby feet prints on the steamed up mirrors and stuff?

try this next time you have a steamed up surface:

make a fist
apply side of fist to steamed up surface (the side your little finger is on) this makes the sole print
use thumb to make big toe print and rest of fingers to make other toe pad prints

alternate left and right hand and the next person who goes in will think theres been a gravity defying baby or small monkey walking up the wall :)

i must say my personal favourite is boob prints...
 

tris-

Failed Geordie and Parmothief
Joined
Jan 2, 2004
Messages
15,260
Not having a vagina I would not know..but a cheeky wank in the shower is always nice!

i always find it takes a fuck load longer than having one in any other environment.
 

fl3a

Can't get enough of FH
Joined
Jan 2, 2004
Messages
1,989
i always find it takes a fuck load longer than having one in any other environment.

because lookign at porn in the shower is severly more difficult than elsewhere!
 

Bugz

Fledgling Freddie
Joined
May 18, 2004
Messages
7,297
Dude, your balls ain't dropped, so don't go looking at yourself thinking how sexy you are.

The art of reading obviously took second priority to playing your bd of uberness =/
 

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