How to dispose of a dead body?

[megadave]

*disclaimer: i havent killed anybody and i don't intend to, i've just been watching too much sopranos and smoking too much*

So if you murdered someone accidently or not, what would you do?

 

[Overdriven]

Tree "blender" + Human Body + Drain. Then powerhose/powershower washup of self and machine.

 

[Wonk]

https://forums.freddyshouse.com/off-topic21/224550-i-just-killed-man.html

 

[Lamp]

In this day and age, you're fucked. You might as well give yourself in.

Police forensic technology is phenominal, CCTV, the fact that the person's missing, eye-witnesses, tracing movements of you and the victim, and good old fashioned intelligent police work means you aint got a hope in hell of getting away with it.

Ignoring that, and just talking purely about body disposal, I would chop the body up into very small pieces, then either feed it to the dog / pigs, or liquidise the body in a food blender / acid, and edump the liquid down the sewer.

P.S. Gotta admire the pig-method of killing in Hanibal

*removed*

 

[Dandare]

Sulphuric Acid is the only way

 

[Overdriven]

Lamp, that image is so much worse than NSFW.. *Shudder*

 

[Lamp]

I did warn you !

Kind of what your cock would look like if you stuck it into an Asian Hornet's nest...

 

[Overdriven]

I did warn you !

Kind of what your cock would look like if you stuck it into an Asian Hornet's nest...

Then I can quite safely say I won't be sticking it into any sort of nest infected with wasps.

 

[Olgaline]

That amount of acid needed would be traceable,

 

[Dandare]

That amount of acid needed would be traceable,

Not if you worked in a chemical plant using 1000's of litres a day

 

[Iceforge]

Hmm, depends, would I have access to what kind of supplies and how much time would I have to get rid of the evidence before someone would perhaps come around asking questions?

If I had plenty of time and access to some not-so-hard-to-get-but-not-the-things-you-got-laying-around I would first dispense the body into a tub, close the drain and put those small tablet you use in your dishwasher on top of the body, like an entire package of them, then pour down warm water, just enough to cover the entire body; Put some weight on top of it to keep it soaked.
That would get rid of everything except the bones.
Drain, clean out rest with more soap if anything left except bones, then place bones in a glass bowl, pour acid (don't know english name of the specific acid needed, but not that hard to get your hands on) on the bones, which will completely dissolve the bones (the acid alone can't rid the body as it can't handle bodyfat, but the tablets can do that part)
Spread the acid/bone liquid in a nearby forrest... presto, no body

EDIT: Sulphuric Acid was the one! Doh! Noticed it mentioned above. Sulphuric Acid alone through still can't handle the bodyfat, which will bind with tissue and form a goo which can be DNA to link it to the crime

 

[Aoami]

Throw it in Michael Barrymore's swimming pool.

 

[Overdriven]

Throw it in Michael Barrymore's swimming pool.

Rep. "You must..." -_-

 

[Amanita]

Make yourself a great big wormery

 

[WiZe^]

Make yourself a great big wormery

worms don't eat bones or teeth tho

 

[megadave]

My mums got quite a big wormery in the garden, could probably fit a few limbs in there, how well do they dispose bodies. Surely it takes ages?


Quick sand would be quite good, but i dont think i know of any anywhere

 

[Lamp]

That amount of acid needed would be traceable,

Of course. There would be no act of disposal that would not leave some trace that the police couldn't trace. Goes back to my original post. If you kill someone, you're fucked. Don't know about other European countries but the British police catch most killers. Especially these days with CCTV everywhere. Every single person leaves traces. Forensic science technology means no amount of cleaning chemicals will remove even microscopic amounts of blood.

 

[DaGaffer]

Fly them to the US, then you've got a better than evens chance of getting away with it:

Murder Clear-up rates:
London 84%
Paris 75%
Dublin 74%
Amsterdam 70%
Washington DC 44%

 

[Downanael]

Chop the body to pieces and scatter the pieces all over your nearby area.

 

[Bahumat]

Dry hump the body till it grinds into a fine dust. Then snort the dust!

 

[Golena]

Put it in the big brother house..

Even if someone finds it no-one will give a crap.

 

[haarewin]

there is a river nearby. i would put it in there.

 

[Bahumat]

there is a river nearby. i would put it in there.

first place they look i'd bet

 

[Maeloch]

Read somewhere a body only lasts a few weeks if you leave it in the open rather than bury or dump it in a lake. Faster decomposition, the birds, animals, etc. Then it's just the bones. ofc then you have to find somewhere to leave a body in the open for a few weeks...

Not in expert in DNA, but wonder how hard it is to fuck up DNA detection at a murder scene with a bit of reading up. I know the gene jockeys at work use a commercially available spray called 'DNA away' to get rid of all DNA around their experiments to stop contamination. Spray that shit all over the place.

Think would go for the weighted down and wired up in a Scottish Loch approach, with good fucking up of the dental records, can't think of anything better. There's dropping someone off the Atlantic shelf, but then you need a boat.

 

[haarewin]

first place they look i'd bet

doubt it. theres lots of woodlands to check too, and the scary flats near the end of the road (which is the first place i'd go looking!)

edit: if it's quicker to leave it in the woodlands i remember a spot noone ever went to when we were kids that i could dump it. the foxes and deer could finish it off for me.

i'm putting a little too much thought into this for it to be healthy....

 

[pikeh]

doubt it. theres lots of woodlands to check too, and the scary flats near the end of the road (which is the first place i'd go looking!)

edit: if it's quicker to leave it in the woodlands i remember a spot noone ever went to when we were kids that i could dump it. the foxes and deer could finish it off for me.

i'm putting a little too much thought into this for it to be healthy....

its healthier getting it all out of your system online rather than real life.

 

[haarewin]

this is all bringing flashbacks of a conversation after a drunken game of 'wink murder'..

 

[Edmond]

This thread is becoming uncomfortable

 

[Downanael]

This thread is becoming uncomfortable

We just telling the newcomers few handy tips we have learned...oh wait forget i said anything!

 

[Lamp]

Statistically if you play computer & video games you're 46 times more likely to commit a murder compared with someone who doesn't play computer & video games.

Proof: